Gangnam’s latest incarnation? Mitt Romney Style!
Who’s down for a rousing game of “Steak House or Gay Bar?”
Kanye West stripped us all of our daily
affirmation source by deleting all of his previous tweets last week. He has since returned to Twitter, but just to mourn the one-year since Steve
Jobs’ death. Riveting stuff.
Vomiting onstage is the new black. Lately, high-profile performers across the globe have proverbially sniffed the milk carton, shrugged and took a sip anyway, all ending up tossing their cookies on stage. Now, if you’re like music editor Mike Breen, watching people experience a retaliating digestive system is disturbing and you'd rather not see that shit. Otherwise, here’s Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber barfing at their recent respective gigs. Thank goodness for HuffPo, who compiled a gallery of “Stars Who’ve Puked During Concerts.”
When Heidi Klum and Seal broke up, I was crushed (mostly because it meant no I’d really never be invited to one of their epic Halloween parties or themed vow renewals). When Amy Poehler and Will Arnett split, I was angry and confused. (Can’t they just laugh it off?!) Well, now I know there’s no such thing as love because after more than 30 years together, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have separated. Maybe people grow apart after decades together. Perhaps DeVito’s role as Frank on Always Sunny began rubbing off on him. I don’t care — Matilda’s parents were supposed to stay together forever.
Thankfully, Amber Tamblyn and David Cross got hitched this week, giving us all a final shred of hope for humanity. Check out Questlove’s Instagram (the coolest way to peep wedding pics, ever) for photos of the Esty-fied Tommy Hilfiger ad starring Joan of Arcadia and Tobias Fünke.
Google unveiled its latest Easter egg of a search tool last week, inducing “bacon number” madness. Now when you’re playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, instead of cross-referencing IMDB, Googlers can simply type in the actor’s name and “bacon number” for an automatic calculation.
After hours of furious research, it was found nearly every human remotely involved in show business over the years (including ‘90s Nickelodeon star Kel Mitchell and silent actor Charlie Chaplin) are within just 2 degrees of Mr. Bacon. The only stars I could find with a higher number are Paula Abdul and Humphrey Bogart (who both have a whopping BN of 3). Here’s to Google: the company responsible for incredible technological advances that continues to make us waste time on the Internet and screw off at work.
Netflix Picks of the Week: Looking for something new on Netflix now that you’re all caught up on Breaking Bad and Celebrity Rehab? Check out Bobcat Goldthwait’s over-the-top pop culture massacre God Bless America and Winnebago Man, the humorously touching documentary about the angry star of an early viral Internet video.
Saturday Night Live returned for its
38th season Saturday. Jay Pharoah debuted as Barack Obama, with
Fred Armisen handing over the presidential torch. We also saw Taran Killam will
serve as Paul Ryan and Jason Sudekis will continue to play Mitt Romney
(squashing the rumors that he’d leave SNL
along with Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg). The trio is expected to appear
on SNL Primetime Edition, the special
election season show to air this Thursday and Sept. 27 on NBC. Seth McFarlane hosted
Saturday’s premiere, and to sum up his performance in one word: VOICES. HuffPo
breaks down the episode.
And as one television show kicks off, another comes to a close. Sunday brought the one-hour series finale of Showtime’s pot dramedy, Weeds. Without spoiling too much, the finale gave us a peek seven years into the future. The good news about 2019: the Botwin crew (plus Doug and Andy) is alive and mostly well. If the show's predictions pan out, fan-made renderings of an even-thinner, transparent future iPhone were totally spot-on; the next diet craze will feature Regina George’s all-carb regime; and, most importantly, marijuana will not only become legalized, but sold like cigarettes in stores and in edible forms at coffee shops. The bad news: Shane grows a bad ‘80s cop mustache.
Everyone has an opinion on TLC’s hillbilly hullabaloo, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, especially regarding the series’ matriarch, mama June and her scary Jabba neck. But have you seen The Real Housewives of Miami? I give you Mama Elsa: the stuff of surgical nightmares.
In music news, Ben Folds Five is back and showing some love to Jim Henson in this new video.
Steven Spielberg's Lincoln is due in theaters this November, and the trailer has just been released. Apparently 90 percent of Hollywood is in the film, including what I’m guessing is an Tupac-inspired Abraham Lincoln hologram (seriously, though, Daniel Day Lewis is scary good). I was totally captivated, swept away to the 19th century, up until Adam from Girls arrived on the scene. From 1:37 on, it was all union suits and depraved sex acts to me.
Alison Pill apparently
didn’t learn one lesson explored in the show on which she stars, because
homegirl accidentally tweeted a topless pic last week. The photo tweeted was meant for
boyfriend, actor Jay Baruchel, which reveals that Alison Pill has no idea what Twitter
is or how it works. It was removed immediately and, in the best reaction possible, Pill
owned up to the flub and apologized for being just as technologically inept as The Newsroom's MacKenzie.
Back-to-school shopping was always pretty fun as a kid, but for child divas of the ‘80s and ‘90s, Lisa Frank made school supplies more than just educational basics — they were Technicolor accessories you were allowed to bring to school! Lisa Frank produced folders, posters, backpacks, pencils, notebooks and other craft and school supplies in the ‘80s and ‘90s that featured vibrant, colorful characters. It's like a child-friendly acid trip come to life. As The Atlantic reveals below, Lisa Frank is actually a real person and, despite the fact that she is a very private person, she recently gave a brief promotional interview after Urban Outfitters bought her vintage stock. Check it out, take the hand of a rainbow tuxedoed panda and walk down memory lane (and look out for a young Mila Kunis!) as you peek into Lisa Frank Incorporated:
Today, as Americans and people across the world remember 9/11, concerned about a possible war between the United States and Syria, young people are left with one question: What rhymes with hug me? Yes, Robin Thicke's “Blurred Lines,” the song version of that friend who was really fun at a party but doesn't know when to throw the towel in and call a cab, features plenty of questionable lyrics, but "You wanna hug me/What rhymes with hug me" has turned the average Top 40 listener into a regular investigative reporter. What does rhyme with “hug me?!” Thankfully, the WRWHM lyric generator is here to help, with a variety of fun options. Unfortunately, if you’re a rhyme Nazi like myself, you’ll be disappointed to find many non-rhyming examples, similar to the assumed "fuck me" in the song. (He's inferring "fuck me," right? Right?!)
Fifty Shades of Grey, the Twilight fan fiction that made it OK for women to openly read shitty romance novels again (thank god!), has been on its way to the silver screen for a while now. All the while, fans have been speculating who would portray the book’s main characters, particularly the BDSM-loving Christian Grey. Well, wait no more, horny moms — Sons of Anarchy’s Charlie Hunnam will soon be the recipient of endless deliveries of cable ties and Lane Bryant panties, as he is officially the face of Mr. Grey. I guess this is a good move for him because every human with a vagina will throw their dollars and undies at anything Shades, but Jax Teller? Really? Taking on the role of Grey’s girl, Ana, is Dakota Johnson, daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, who I’ve referred to as “the Stanford girl who slept with Justin Timberlake in The Social Network” more than once. Here are some peeps who turned down the roles.
Four years ago, Mac from Always Sunny (in Season Five’s “The World Series Defense”) wrote a very emotional, sticker-filled letter to Philadelphia Phillies’ second baseman Chase Utley. It’s been a long wait, but Utley finally responded.
Ever want to watch celebrities recount their first sexual encounters to your favorite Full House heartthrob? I know, you’ve been waiting for years. Finally, here’s Losing It With John Stamos.
Australian comedian Chris Lilley is back with a new project featuring one of fans’ favorite characters. For those unfamiliar with the comic chameleon that is Lilley, cancel all of your plans, log onto HBO Go (or borrow someone’s account) and watch Summer Heights High and Angry Boys (Lilley’s first series, We Can Be Heroes, is not available to stream anywhere as far as I can tell, but you should buy that shit if you can find it). Lilley makes these amazing mockumentary-style series in which he plays multiple characters, often different genders, ages and nationalities, and he does so in a way that is so realistic, poignant, raw and hilarious, you’d really have to think twice before calling it “drag” or “blackface” — he becomes these characters.
In Lilley’s upcoming series, he will reprise his role of Ja’mie King, prissy bitch supreme featured in WCBH and SHS. Ja'mie: Private School Girl will debut on HBO Nov. 24. Please enjoy this Ja’mie mash-up, you fugly povos.
And as we welcome on new series, we say goodbye to another: True Blood will end after its seventh season next summer. Bon Temps better go out with a bang. And by bang, I mean a barrage of full-frontals (Spoilers!).
Think “selfies” were limited to teenagers at the mall food court, drunk girls at bars and an alarming amount of people in bathrooms? Broaden your scope to include law enforcement with Cop Selfies, which sadly also include plenty of toilet shots:
And even one with Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger.
Possibly more depressing than the fact that police make duckfaces, too? The Rich Kids of Instagram, what started as a blog highlighting the hashtagged lives of the young and privileged, are reportedly getting their own show.
Start jogging in place to raise those endorphins, because your mood is LIT’RALLY going to plummet when you hear this news: Pawnee’s Chris Traeger and Ann Perkins are leaving our lives as Rob Lowe and Rashida Jones will be exiting Parks and Rec mid-way through the upcoming sixth season. The hot-and-cold couple decided to make a baby in last season’s finale, so hopefully we’ll get to see Chris obsess over Ann and the baby’s health — I shudder to think about the gargantuan prenatal vitamin he’ll force down poor Ann Perkin’s throat — and the subsequent birth of the most attractive baby ever.
What angsty teen didn’t grow up with Daria, worshiping Ms. Morgendorffer’s monotonous snark, too-cool-for-school edge and perfect Doc Martins? Well, 10 years later, Daria’s back (NOT REALLY), in the flesh, for a Lawndale High reunion, in this faux movie trailer:
Ellen DeGeneres is hosting the Oscars! The funnylady, a 100 percent upgrade from last year’s host, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarland, confirmed the news on Twitter:
Everybody is happy about this because everybody obviously loves Ellen, except probably One Million Moms, who can all eat one million dicks for all I care. GO ELLEN.
The Doctor is in — Peter Capaldi will replace Matt Smith in Doctor Who, making him the 12th actor to portray The Doctor on the show, the longest-running sci-fi series. Capaldi is best known for his role on the British political satire The Thick of It (which inspired HBO’s Veep), which is available on Hulu. He steps in front of the camera as Doctor No. 12 this fall.
Time Warner Cable users have even more to complain about than usual as the provider has dropped CBS and Showtime “due to outrageous demands for programming.” This blackout does not result in a price cutback for customers and it especially sucks for people who just recently got into Ray Donovan.
Hey, Mumford & Sons have a new music video. Something look a little off to you?
Comedy Central Roasts are generally reserved for washed up celebs and veteran comics, but the network is gonna try something new with the Roast of James Franco. Hosted by BFF Seth Rogen, the roast is sure to draw in an even bigger, younger audience. Yes, we all love it when Seth and James get together (see: the last decade), but the real laughs will come when the seasoned roasters sink their teeth in ole Franco.
There are two types of people who spend too much time on the Internet. People who troll comments, who need to have their toenails removed one by one, and people who do this, who should be showered in champagne.
It was announced today that Actor/Director/Humanitarean/Total Heartthrob Jeff Spicoli Sean Penn is receiving the 2012 Joel Siegel Award at the 17th Annual Critics Choice Movie Awards on Jan. 12 for the relief work he has done in Haiti. This will be only the fifth Joel Siegel Award given by the BFCA, and dedicated “to those who understand, as Joel did, that the greatest value of celebrity is as an enhanced platform to do good works for others."
“While it was heartening to see such an outpouring of support and aid for the Haitian people in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy, the long-term commitment made by Sean and his organization is particularly notable," said BFCA president Joey Berlin.
20th Century Cincinnati is a vintage-modern (is that an oxymoron?) collector's dream. The 18th annual event brings 60 furniture and decor dealers to the Sharonville Convention Center with all kinds of goodies from the 1920s-1980s. Tickets are just $7 for the weekend, with the sale open 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Find details here.
Do you think there's ever been a February Final Friday as mild as this one? Surely not. Hop around the galleries, restaurants and bars in Over-the-Rhine and make the most of this odd weather!
The 64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards took place Sunday night. Each year I get excited for
this one awards show dedicated to television, and every year I forget how
boring and predictable it usually is.
First off, there is no booze served at the Emmys (unlike
the drink-friendly Golden Globes which honor TV and film), and that just puts a
damper on everything. Pre-show red carpet interviews have to be one of the most
uncomfortable interactions ever (I swear one E! douche bag actually said, “I don’t really
care, ‘cause we’re dudes, but it’s my thing tonight — Who are you wearing?”
Gag.) — stars need some hooch to make it all OK.
Then there are the clear academy favorites that are continually nominated year after year for no apparent reason — Can’t we all agree Big Bang Theory lacks any real humor or geek cred? But I suffer through the Emmys just in case there’s a redeeming wardrobe malfunction or surprise winner.
Raise your hand if you're tired of faux nerdery!
Jimmy Kimmel made an entertaining host, playfully poking fun at various celebs and, in a particularly funny bit, showed an “In Memoriam” video of himself, stating that we shouldn’t wait until stars are dead to remember their work.
The big winners of the night were Showtime’s drama series Homeland, the HBO movie Game Change and ABC’s Modern Family (one of those perpetual comedy winners).
Fashion trends for the night (and fall in general) included bold solids and metallics, but I always find it interesting just a few stars sport very similar, striking looks. This year it was apparently good luck to mimic the award statue — all dressed in yellow, Julianne Moore (Game Change), Julie Bowen (Modern Family) and a pregnant Claire Danes (Homeland) each walked away with a golden lady for their respective leading performances.
The good: Tracy Morgan faked a medical issue to generate buzz, Amy Poehler and Julia Louie-Dreyfus “accidentally” swapped acceptance speeches and Jon Stewart kept censors on their toes during his acceptance speech on behalf of The Daily Show (which makes 10 wins in a row for the show). I was happy to see Jessica Lange honored as best supporting actress in a miniseries/movie — and, really, how smart of them to re-define American Horror Story each season, categorizing it as a miniseries. The always-hilarious Louis C.K. was "vindicated" with two Emmys for his writing on Louie and his stand-up special, Louis C.K.: Live at the Beacon Theater. And while the drama category was filled with some of my favorite shows, a very deserving Homeland pretty much swept the category. Aaron Paul was awarded for his role as Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad, to which I say, “Yeah, bitch!” While Paul may have been confused during fashion week, he must have picked up some style tips on the catwalk, because his chocolate suit was sick, and only enhanced by his fiance’s coordinating gown.
All together now: Aww!
Season 4 of Breaking Bad was outstanding, and I’m a Jesse fan but…
The bad: Giancarlo Esposito should have won for his performance in Breaking Bad. I will never not be terrified of him after seeing him as the disturbing Gus Fring. I would have liked to see Kristen Wiig win for her last season on SNL. And Jon Cryer? I love ya, Duckie, but Two and a Half Men does not belong in the awards arena.
"Wait, me? Are you guys sure?"
So, it was mostly a snoozefest, but at least we had the opening skit featuring all the leading ladies and, namely, a “nude” Lena Dunham eating cake in a bathroom stall.
In non-Emmy news, Clint Eastwood’s infamous
empty chair assault during the Republican National Convention is old news by
now, but that’s not going to stop the folks at Extra from babbling on about it. During an interview about his
film Trouble With the Curve, Eastwood
had this to say: "If
someone's dumb enough to ask me to go to a political convention and say
something, they're going to have to take what they get."
Is Amanda Bynes the new Britney? With Ms. Spears cleaning off
her Cheeto dust to fulfill her duties as “Britney, bitch”
on The X Factor, another
downward-spiraling starlet must accept the role as train wreck supreme. Sure,
Lindsay Lohan is the obvious candidate, but if you’ve been following the
“retired” actress of Nickelodeon fame, you know Bynes is barreling to the front
of the race. Seemingly out of nowhere, Bynes has recently had her car impounded after facing charges for a DUI, driving without a license (twice) and two hit-and-runs.
I will go as far as calling my dad in from the 'burbs to chauffeur my ass around (or, in dire situations, dealing with the living hell that is Ron’s Cab) to avoid traffic stops and drunk driving. Can’t these child stars payroll a driver to be available at their every whim, or call a damn taxi? Also, people are saying she's crazier than one of those silly characters she played when she was 12.