Sen. Rob Portman is sitting on more cash than nearly all of his GOP colleagues in the Senate, despite the fact that he’s not up for re-election until 2016. There has been widespread speculation that Portman is a Republican vice presidential candidate, and only three Senators have more money on-hand than his Promoting Our Republican Team PAC (PORTPAC) leadership committee.

Companies upstream from Cincinnati have been dumping pollutants into the Ohio River since the 1940s, and federal authorities have reached a $5.5 million settlement to start cleaning it all up. Eighteen companies and several federal agencies will collectively contribute to restoring the Ashtabula River and Harbor in northeast Ohio. Here's the latest from Dredging Today (the authoritative voice of underwater excavation activity and other earth-altering digs).

Locals who have recently “pimped their rides” might want to read up on a bill passed by Ohio lawmakers yesterday that bans hidden compartments in vehicles. Police don’t want to have to open those fancy compartments to check whether there are drugs inside or just a 10th tiny TV. Hear that, Colerain?

Here’s what Obama and his advisers do on Sundays (after the prez’s round of golf, of course): size up Mitt Romney.

More insights from the letters and notes released on Thursday by the Combating Terrorism Center at West Point: “Bin Laden worried about legacy and sought to kill Obama.”

U.S. job growth was down in April, adding only 115,000 positions after seeing 154,000 added in March. The unemployment rate dropped .1 percentage point to 8.1 percent, largely due to workers leaving the labor force. Republicans have some thoughts on the matter (Obama’s fault).

Ted Nugent is not looking so hot these days. He’s also thoroughly offended at the notion of not being a moderate. The following are comments he made today on CBS This Morning:

"If you examine how I conduct myself," Nugent said, "I don't think a day goes by in my life for many, many years now that we don't do charity work for children. ... Call me when you sit down across from someone who has more families with dying little boys and girls who get a call to take them on their last fishing trip in life.

"Call me," Nugent continued in a raised, irritated voice, "when you meet someone who does that more than I do. Because that's really moderate. In fact, you know what that is? That's extreme. ... I'm an extremely loving, passionate man, and people who investigate me honestly, without the baggage of political correctness, ascertain the conclusion that I'm a damned nice guy. ... And if you can find a screening process more powerful than that, I'll [expletive]. Or [expletive]. How's that sound?"

Headline: “Tech world is out for blood.” Apparently Yahoo CEO Scott Thompson’s decision to start a patent war was not such a good idea.

New York Yankees future Hall of Fame pitcher Mariano Rivera tore his ACL during pregame batting practice yesterday, putting the 42-year-old’s career in jeopardy. There had already been speculation that Rivera would retire after this season, and recovery from ACL surgery usually takes more than nine months.

Streetcar proponents have spent considerably more on their campaign than the anti-streetcar people, probably because Issue 48 is so wide-reaching it has brought out people concerned with things way more important than the streetcar such as regional planning, commuter rail and making Cincinnati not look like it totally sucks.

Also being outspent are the SB 5 supporters, who have seen support decline dramatically in recent weeks as people look around their neighborhoods and see a bunch of regular people whose rights would be taken away. And Building a Better Ohio does unethical things like this, which makes people think they are meanies.

Here's a blog about City Council candidate Chris Smitherman arguing against all the legal experts who say Issue 48 will block all rail construction through 2020.

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City Council on Wednesday overwhelmingly passed a measure that will offer benefits to domestic partners of city employees. The measure was introduced by Councilman Chris Seelbach and passed 8-1, the lone “no” vote coming from Charlie Winburn. Seelbach told The Enquirer that domestic partner benefits not only affect same-sex couples, but are also applicable to non-married partners, which is an added attraction to lure talented employees to the city. Covington officials passed a similar measure Tuesday.

If you owe the city of Cincinnati any parking fines, now would be a good time to pay them. Cincinnati police are going to start hearing descriptions of vehicles with multiple outstanding tickets during roll call and then head out to find them during patrols.

Eric Deters wants to be a real lawyer again. The attorney/radio personality/cage fighter says his current predicament — Kentucky law license suspension — is mostly because someone making the rulings “hates him” and is not due to the “ethical lapses” that caused his original 61-day suspension. If Deters can't get the Kentucky Supreme Court to help him out he'll have to go in front of a Character and Fitness Committee and explain all the crazy stuff he's done.

Gov. John Kasich is making changes to the state's Medicaid program, which he and its officials say will save money, though it will cause disruptions in the form of some recipients needing to find new providers, many of which have less access to medical advice and financial help. A similar program implemented in Kentucky last year resulted in complaints that patients couldn't get services authorized and providers didn't get paid on time, according to The Enquirer.

New Osama bin Laden documents published online by the U.S. Government show concern over Muslim distrust of his organization before he was killed last May, and much of which was due to the high numbers of civilians it was responsible for killing.

It's not very fun to be John Edwards these days. Already charged with using $1 million in campaign money to hide a pregnant mistress, testimony in his case for violating campaign finance laws has revealed that his mistress had a better idea in response to the National Enquirer's report on the affair: She wanted to say she was abducted by aliens.

Jobless-benefits claims were down last week, and the reduction was the greatest in three months. And U.S. stock futures rose in accordance.

Target is done selling Kindles, and although it didn't give a reason analysts suspect it is in response to Amazon's attempts to get retailers who see the products in a store to then purchase them online. Amazone last holiday season indroduced a Price Check app that offered in-store price comparisons and up to a $15 discount online.

Retired NFL linebacker Junior Seau was found dead at his home yesterday in an apparent suicide. Seau, who played in the NFL for parts of 20 seasons, was found shot to death. He was 43.

It's been a wild couple of days in local politics, with most of the names on East Side yard signs losing in Tuesday's City Council election. The newbies: Democrats P.G. Sittenfeld, Yvette Simpson and Chris Seelbach. The new Council will include only one Republican, Charlie Winburn, although Chris Smitherman acts like he's from all sorts of political parties. For the first time ever, the Council will be a majority African American, and Seelbach's win marks the first election of an openly gay candidate to Council.

Four members of the conservative majority that spent most of last year either blocking the mayor's initiatives or Twittering — Chris Bortz, Leslie Ghiz, Amy Murray and Wayne Lippert — were ousted, paving the way for Mayor Mallory and the seven Democrats on council to things they want to do. Congratulations “environmentalists and people who use health clinics!”

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The Music Hall Revitalization Co. will meet Thursday to consider its next move after the city of Cincinnati decided not to sell the historic building to the nonprofit organization, prompting the resignation of the Revitalization Co.'s leader. The resident arts organizations issued a joint statement yesterday offering to work with the city and private donors to revive the project in some form. Some arts supporters contend that local philanthropic leaders will not donate to the project while it is city owned.

In the wake of last season's Crosstown Shootout melee, officials from UC and Xavier have decided to play the annual game at U.S. Bank Arena for the next two seasons. The behavior of players and fans will reportedly be evaluated after that time. The game was scheduled to be played at UC's Fifth Third Arena this year.

The commercial space vehicle today finally launched after shutting down its first attempt to fly to the International Space Station without the government's help. Exploration Technologies Corp.'s SpaceX rocket is scheduled to touch down on May 25 and could help jumpstart the privatization of space station servicing.

Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama in 2008, but he's not quite ready to do it again.

Facebook shares went down a little bit after analysts revised their outlooks.

Fuel economy is more important to consumers than overall car quality, according to a new survey by Consumer Reports.

Is Brad Pitt's new film Killing Them Softly an anti-capitalist screed? Pretty much.

Everything you need to know about (writer-director Andrew) Dominik's worldview came with a moment in the news conference in which the Australian said that in his experience America is largely about making money, and that that went double for Hollywood.

Or, as the film's touchstone piece of dialogue has it: "America isn't a country -- it's a business.”

Ever wonder what would happen if the NBA rookie of the year dressed up like an old man and played ball with dudes at some random courts, with at least some of the players not knowing what's going on? Wonder no more:

The Ohio Board of Regents has recommended banning tobacco on all school campuses. The ruling is meant to curtail students picking up smoking during college. According to the Ohio Department of Health, 40 percent of college-aged smokers began smoking or became regular smokers after starting college.

Louise Nippert, Cincinnati philanthropist and art patron, died yesterday at the age of 100.

Secret groups have been pumping Ohio’s Senate race between incumbent Sen. Sherrod Brown and Ohio Treasurer Josh Mandel with out-of-state money in support of Mandel. Unsurprisingly, the Brown team is not happy about it.

More Ohio adults are on Medicaid and Medicare, a new study has found. Ohioans are also relying less on employer-provided insurance. The numbers apparently match a nationwide movement.

Yesterday, the world got its first glimpse at the suspect in the Colorado theater massacre. He had orange hair.

A coalition of labor groups is getting together to push for a higher minimum wage in Ohio. They want minimum wage raised to $9.80 per hour in 2014.

Penn State is getting a heavy-handed punishment from the NCAA. It seems like the occult hand of former coach Joe Paterno will continue having a heavy grip on the university’s football legacy.

Apparently, earth’s resources aren’t good enough for technology. Scientists want to use dwarf stars to improve computers in a big way.

Headline: "Stadium tax rebate favors wealthy." Analysis: "No shit." Owners of the county's most-expensive homes reportedly receive more savings from the property tax rollback than they pay in the sales tax increase that was supposed to pay for the sports stadiums. An Enquirer analysis of last year's property tax payout found that the half-cent sales tax increase amounts to a maximum of $192 annually, while some high-value homeowners received tax rebates of $1,175 or more.

• Million-dollar homes account for less than 1 percent of households, yet they received nearly 5 percent of the total rebates — or one out of every $20 paid out.

• One out of four homeowners - those with a home worth $200,000 or more - got $8.8 million in rebates - more than half the total rollback.

• The median Hamilton County homeowner with a property worth $106,700 is eligible to get a $50.15 rebate under the rollback.

• The 132 Hamilton County homeowners with houses worth $2.5 million or more get at least $1,175 apiece.

• Property owners with homes worth $150,000 or less account for nearly six out of 10 households, but collectively they received less than 23 percent of the benefits.

County commissioners have four days to tell the auditor to go ahead and tax homeowners at the previous rate, but Chris Monzel and Todd Portune are up for reelection this year and won't dare change take it away from the powerful rich people.

[Correction: Monzel is not up for reelection.]

Said former commissioner David Pepper:"At its core, the property tax rollback creates a reverse-Robin Hood scheme, where middle-class homeowners and renters are not only the ones paying for the stadium, but also footing the bill for a tax break for high-value property owners. Those high-end property owners are not paying for the stadium at all."

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An organization called Citizens' League Against Subsidized Sports is gathering signatures for a ballot measure that would add a tax on Reds and Bengals tickets. Hamilton County Commissioner Greg Hartmann says he knows that the county's lease doesn't allow it to institute a ticket tax but that it doesn't say anything about a citizens' initiative.

Police costs are rising even though the force is shrinking, partially because it hasn't hired any new officers since 2008 while the top ranks have held steady.

The SB 5 debate is expected to draw a high voter turnout, which could bode well for school levies as voters come out to vote "no" on Issue 2.

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Leave it to The Enquirer to publish a story analyzing local school district spending vs. academic success only to ignore the existence of private schools while drawing the conclusion that “a district that spends more doesn't necessarily produce higher test scores and graduation rates.” The story, titled “Big-spending districts net mixed academic grades,” doesn't include the qualifier “public school” or the possibility that local private schools spend even more per pupil than Indian Hill, Sycamore Township, Mariemont and Norwood, each of which spent $11,958 to $15,209 per student last year and earned Excellent or better ratings.

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More details are coming out about Chris Monzel and Todd Portune working a behind-the-scenes deal to sell Drake Hospital for way less than it was worth in order to save rich people money on their property taxes for one year. Critics have called it a “fire sale” and questioned the legality of selling a public asset without competitive bidding, outside studies or input from county lawyers. From The Enquirer:

"The 2-1 vote ends 87 years of county ownership of the Hartwell rehabilitation hospital. UC Health will buy it for $15 million – a price negotiated in secret by one commissioner and approved with no outside studies, no input from county lawyers or the county administration, and little public discussion.

The money from the sale will bail out the stadium fund for one year, avoiding a $14.2 million deficit for next year. It also allows the county to restore a property tax rollback promised to voters in 1996 when they approved a new sales to build and maintain the stadiums – a rollback largely scrapped this year to pay for the stadiums."

Cincinnati City Council today will lose its longtime excuse that there are too many old conservatives involved to get anything done, as three of its new members are young, optimistic and representative of the community who aren't old guys or mean rich ladies. The Enquirer discusses Council's influx of YP energy here, including a nice photo of Chris Seelbach, Yvette Simpson and P.G. Sittenfeld with the caption: “Before...” that seems rather ominous.

Ohio has reportedly offered Sears $400 million to relocate from Chicago to Columbus. Illinois Governor Pat Quinn says the offer is about four times what Illinois has offered.

President Obama was in Scranton, Pa., yesterday to promise that he's trying to extend a payroll tax cut for workers.

Headline: “Amid Questions, Cain Stays Defiant.” Sounds like Karl Rove. Also, Cain would like to see the cell phone records of the woman accusing him of having an extramarital affair.

Dentists are having a tough time as people skip their visits due to the economic downturn. Now they're looking to marketing and social media to help. At least your teeths cleaned everybody!

Wild donkeys are messing up Texas' ecology.

Michigan is about to allow the carrying of stun guns.

And horses could soon be slaughtered for meat in the U.S.

Isn't there any good news? The Kindle Fire and Nook Tablet are apparently giving the iPad a run for its money? The NFL hearing Detroit Lions player Ndamukong Suh's appeal over a two-game suspension for stomping on somebody's arm?

Eh, whatever. Just watch this Kenny Powers K-Swiss video and forget about the real world.