Think “selfies” were limited to teenagers at the mall food court, drunk girls at bars and an alarming amount of people in bathrooms? Broaden your scope to include law enforcement with Cop Selfies, which sadly also include plenty of toilet shots:
And even one with Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger.
Possibly more depressing than the fact that police make duckfaces, too? The Rich Kids of Instagram, what started as a blog highlighting the hashtagged lives of the young and privileged, are reportedly getting their own show.
Start jogging in place to raise those endorphins, because your mood is LIT’RALLY going to plummet when you hear this news: Pawnee’s Chris Traeger and Ann Perkins are leaving our lives as Rob Lowe and Rashida Jones will be exiting Parks and Rec mid-way through the upcoming sixth season. The hot-and-cold couple decided to make a baby in last season’s finale, so hopefully we’ll get to see Chris obsess over Ann and the baby’s health — I shudder to think about the gargantuan prenatal vitamin he’ll force down poor Ann Perkin’s throat — and the subsequent birth of the most attractive baby ever.
What angsty teen didn’t grow up with Daria, worshiping Ms. Morgendorffer’s monotonous snark, too-cool-for-school edge and perfect Doc Martins? Well, 10 years later, Daria’s back (NOT REALLY), in the flesh, for a Lawndale High reunion, in this faux movie trailer:
Ellen DeGeneres is hosting the Oscars! The funnylady, a 100 percent upgrade from last year’s host, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarland, confirmed the news on Twitter:
Everybody is happy about this because everybody obviously loves Ellen, except probably One Million Moms, who can all eat one million dicks for all I care. GO ELLEN.
The Doctor is in — Peter Capaldi will replace Matt Smith in Doctor Who, making him the 12th actor to portray The Doctor on the show, the longest-running sci-fi series. Capaldi is best known for his role on the British political satire The Thick of It (which inspired HBO’s Veep), which is available on Hulu. He steps in front of the camera as Doctor No. 12 this fall.
Time Warner Cable users have even more to complain about than usual as the provider has dropped CBS and Showtime “due to outrageous demands for programming.” This blackout does not result in a price cutback for customers and it especially sucks for people who just recently got into Ray Donovan.
Hey, Mumford & Sons have a new music video. Something look a little off to you?
Comedy Central Roasts are generally reserved for washed up celebs and veteran comics, but the network is gonna try something new with the Roast of James Franco. Hosted by BFF Seth Rogen, the roast is sure to draw in an even bigger, younger audience. Yes, we all love it when Seth and James get together (see: the last decade), but the real laughs will come when the seasoned roasters sink their teeth in ole Franco.
There are two types of people who spend too much time on the Internet. People who troll comments, who need to have their toenails removed one by one, and people who do this, who should be showered in champagne.
are no strangers to harsh public scrutiny – just ask Miss Utah USA, Marissa
Powell. But most contestants don’t have to worry
about being criticized for being too cute. At the 25th annual
World’s Ugliest Dog Contest in Petaluma, Calif., freaky is fabulous. You’ll
find everything from hairless, cross-eyed mutts with missing body parts to
patchy, freckled pooches with potbellies and snaggleteeth. The Chinese crested,
seen here, is an iconic “Ugly” dog with features often exhibited by this
contest’s winner — but not this year.
Pictured: a NOT UGLY ENOUGH DOG
This weekend, Walle, a “late entry” 4-year-old beagle-boxer-basset mix, won the crowd over with his gigantic head (ugly?), the hump on his back (ugly?) and the ability to sit upright on his butt (ugly?!). Like Potter Stewart, when it comes to ugly, I know it when I see it and I ain’t seein’ it. Sashay away, Walle. You’re too pretty for this game.
What do you get
when you cross the egotistical prince of Hip Hop with a beloved stylistic
filmmaker? Kanye Wes.
Molly Miley Cyrus’
evolution into full-on festival groupie/Tumblr chick is complete. Check out her
new vid for “We Can’t Stop,” featuring cameos by taxidermy, a My Size Barbie, Pepto-Bismol blood, smoke bomb crotches and a hot dog piñata:
Noisey raises some “important questions” about the video since it is both impossible and futile to even form an opinion about it. All I know is Miley’s fervent ass shaking/slapping and non-drug references are making me totally uncomfortable. Just a few years ago I relied on older friends to explain drug stuff to me and now I’m feeling totally weirded out by Miley and her rolling (or whatever the term is now), twerking, thumb-sucking friends. Yet, I can’t stop…watching this freaky mess over and over!
Is your stockpile of Twinkies starting to dwindle? Fear not, Tallahassee, because select Hostess snacks are set to be back on store shelves July 15. Metropoulos & Co. and Apollo Global Management teamed up to buy Twinkies, CupCakes, Donettes and other Hostess cakes so we can continue to fill our bodies with preservative-rich baked goods for years to come.
The Steve Jobs biopic starring Ashton Kutcher is in theaters Aug. 16. Check out the new trailer:
Ashton’s Steve Jobs is legit but, so help me God, if I have to hear that Macklemore & Ryan Lewis song one more time…
Nik Wallenda crossed a gorge near the Grand Canyon on live television Sunday,
walking 1,500 feet above the ground on a two-inch cable, and didn’t fall to his
death. Good job, Nik! Wallenda comes from a family of tightrope walkers — his great-grandfather
Karl Wallenda, born in Germany in 1905, began performing at age 6. Nik became
the first person to cross Niagra Falls on a high wire last June and Sunday’s
stunt gave him the title as the first aerialist to walk directly over the Little
Colorado River Gorge. There weren’t any harnesses, cables or safety nets — just
a pole to hold for balance. Wallenda prayed loudly to Jesus throughout the
23-minute spectacle. At the peak of the gorge crossing, 13 million viewers tuned in either on TV or online, a staggering number compared to the 2.7
million who tuned into the game-changing Mad
Men finale also on Sunday night (the series’ biggest audience ever). Why do people watch this stuff? It's kind of sick, even if there's a 10-second body splatter insurance delay.