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by Jennifer Saltsman 01.31.2012
 
 
roach

Valentine's Gifts Around the World (and Back)

How Do You Say I<3U?

It's two weeks until Valentine's Day, and we've got a few suggestions on how to celebrate.

To women, nothing says ‘I Love You’ quite like a big, fat cockroach on Valentine’s Day. That's right, for just $10, you can name a special bug living at the Bronx Zoo after your sweetie - because like love, a cockroach is indestructible.

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by Jac Kern 05.10.2013
Posted In: Eats, Events, Music, Northside, Performances, Fun, Holidays at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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Your Weekend To Do List: 5/10-5/12

This weekend is all mothers, so grab your mom, grandma, baby-mama or other motherly-type and take her out for a good time! The next few days are packed with stuff to do, with moms or otherwise.

The 44th annual Appalachian Festival is already in full gear at Coney Island, with tons of live music, handmade artisan crafts, storytelling, food and an authentic pioneer village — for those who like to kick it super old-school. The fest runs until 9 p.m. Friday, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Saturday and 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $1-$8. Get a full lineup of activities and performances here.

Cincinnati Rollergirls games are pretty much a guaranteed good time. Fun, fierce, badass chicks battle on the rink; $1 happy hour beers; hilarious roller derby nicknames; meet-and-greet with the girls after the game — need we go on? Roll out to the Cincinnati Gardens Saturday as the CRG face Toronto Roller Derby and The Dire Skates of Richmond, Ind., in a double-header. Saturday is Scout and Kids Night, so bring the chillun for a family-friendly event. Get tickets here and read our interview with Rollergirl Sydney “Big Ugly” Greathouse.

Whether you’re looking to welcome a furry friend to your family or you want to treat your pup to a day on the town, head downtown to the Duke Energy Convention Center for Petopolis Saturday-Sunday. This pet expo features animal adoption opportunities, pet fashion shows (hopefully straight out of Anchorman), trick competitions, demos, informational seminars, activities for the kids and tons of vendors. Plus, moms will get complimentary pet photos for Mother’s Day. Go here for more information.

Oktoberfest is months away, but local German enthusiasts can get their fill of beer, sausage and Gemütlichkeit at the Cincinnati Donauschwaben Society’s Schwabenfest Friday-Saturday. Have your fill of homemade sausages, German brews, pretzels and cream puffs, compete in the stein-holding competition and, if you’re coming from Petopolis, dogs are welcome in the biergarten.

Maybe you prefer more American-style fare. In that case, swing by Sawyer Point from 2-10 p.m. Saturday for the Cincinnati Wing Fest. This free food festival features chicken wings and side dishes ($2+) from Knocback Nat’s, Rooster’s, Montgomery Inn, Buffalo Wings and Rings and several other area restaurants.

Northside Second Saturdays is a great opportunity to buy some artwork, jewelry, baked goods, clothing or home goods for mom (or yourself — no judgment). Stop by local businesses along Hamilton, Chase and Spring Grove avenues from 6-10 p.m. Saturday for sales, extended hours, drinks and food specials. Check out a full list of participating shops, restaurants and bars here.

For more stuff to do this weekend, check out our To Do picks, full calendar and Rick Pender’s Stage Door for weekend theater offerings.

 
 
by Jac Kern 04.26.2012
 
 
to do_makr at cac

Your Thursday To Do List

Happy National Pretzel Day! In honor of this momentous occasion, Servatii offers free pretzel sticks to every guest today. We suggest going all-out with one of their tasty, giant pretzel sandwiches, too. Find a location to stop by here.

Another TED event takes place locally today, this time on Xavier's campus. TEDxXavierUniversity brings leaders in innovation from across the city and country to speak on the theme "Touching the hearts and minds of others through innovation, service, and leadership." Speakers include emcee Michelle Beckham-Corbin (President and Chief Digital Marketing Strategist of C3: Creating Connections Consulting, LLC), Todd Henry (founder and CEO of Accidental Creative), Rashmi Assudani PhD. (Associate Professor of Management and Entrepreneurship at XU's Williams College of Business) and other CEOs, directors of non-profits and cutting edge entrepreneurs. The free event runs 1-5 p.m. today at the Cintas Center Schiff Banquet Hall. Guests should have already reserved their spot in advance.

The Contemporary Arts Center continues to bring unique musical performances to the museum. Tonight, local quartet Makr performs Georg Friedrich Haas' "In iij. Noct." at 8 p.m. The music collective features current and former students of The University of Cincinnati's College-Conservatory of Music Eddy Kwon, Brodie Johnson, Joshua Ulrich and Suzanna Barnes. Doors open at 7:30 tonight and tickets are $14.

Comedian John Heffron makes a tour stop at Funny Bone on the Levee starting tonight. Heffron was the winner of Last Comic Standing's second season and has performed on tons of late night shows and Comedy Central specials and at comedy festivals. A relatively "clean" comic, Heffron avoids politics and controversy in his acts, focusing on the naturally funny aspects of everyday life. Tonight's performance begins at 8 p.m. Find details here.

Check out our music blog for tonight's live show lineup and our To Do page for more events, art shows and performances.

 
 
by Jac Kern 05.01.2012
 
 
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Your Tuesday To Do List

Happy May Day! The holiday has various meanings across cultures with Christian, pagan and labor-related celebrations. Today in the U.S., the holiday is widely known as International Workers’ Day and observed by labor unions. The local Occupy movement will celebrate this tradition by demonstrating to raise awareness about the importance of increasing the minimum wage. Meet at Senator Rob Portman’s office (36 E. Seventh St., Downtown) from 4-5:30 p.m. today to show your support and learn more about the various benefits of fair living wages.

The Reds take on the Cubs at 7 p.m. tonight in the first of three games against the Chicago crew. Bronson Arroyo looks to continue his strong performance against the last-placed Cubs. Find last-minute tickets here.

Antonelli College hosts a free seminar tonight featuring tips on getting the most out of social media. Learn secrets from the pros as a panel discusses simple ideas and insider tricks on benefiting from Facebook, Twitter and other social media services. The discussion runs 6-7:30 p.m. at the West Chester campus.

The Cincinnati Metropolitan Orchestra teams up with the College of Mount St. Joseph tonight for a special concert, Simple Gifts. Students will perform a variety of work, including "Porgi Amor," "O Mio Babbino Caro," "Fanfare for the Common Man" and "Variations on a Shaker Melody." The free concert begins at 7:30 p.m. at Mount St. Joe.

The infamous Second City comedy troupe returns to Cincinnati this week with more locally-inspired sketches. Catch a preview show of Less Pride...More Pork tonight at Playhouse in the Park and be sure to bring your sense of humor — remember, they're laughing with us. Also at the playhouse tonight, one of our Critic's Picks, Thunder Knocking on the Door.

And since it is May Day, stop by the Northside bar of the same name for trivia night. Round one begins at 9 p.m.; the second starts at 11 p.m.

 
 
by Jac Kern 10.26.2011
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Reviews, Rapture, Movies, Holidays, Fun at 02:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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The Show-down: Scary TV Edition

Television can be scary year-round (ex. Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Rachel Zoe Project, Breaking Bad), but terror gets turned up a notch this time of year. With Halloween around the corner, here are some horror-ific shows to check out.

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by Staff 11.20.2015
Posted In: Arts, Animals, Comedy, Concerts, Eats, Events, Fun, Food, Humor, Holidays, Life, Music, Movies at 12:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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Your Weekend To Do List (11/20-11/24)

Lasagna pop-ups, Bill Nye, Festival of Lights, Black Dance is Beautiful and more

FRIDAY

EVENT: MYTHBUSTERS: JAMIE & ADAM UNLEASHED!

You’ve seen the Emmy-nominated show; now you can live it. The hosts of MythBusters will be wishing co-host and frequently bereted Jamie Hyneman farewell on a nationwide tour, and they need your help to conduct some of their final experiments when they make their stop in Cincinnati. Attendees will be brought on stage to assist Jamie and Adam as they use science to bust popular myths and misconceptions. 8 p.m. Friday. $45-$110. Aronoff Center, 650 Walnut St., Downtown, cincinnatiarts.org

“Untitled (Antelope)” by Jochen Lempert
Photo: courtesy of the artist and ProjecteSD Barcelona
ART: FIELD GUIDE AT THE CINCINNATI ART MUSEUM
Jochen Lempert, the German photographer whose first major U.S. museum show, Field Guide, is now at the Cincinnati Art Museum, combines the metaphysical with the biological so well that the effect is often magical. Or, I should say, the effect is downright scientific. He’d appreciate that latter term — he’s a trained biologist who turned to art photography in the 1990s. Yet much of his work achieves magic by making something ephemeral concrete and vice versa. This is a show to spend some time with, because the way individual images affect the viewer often depends on the size and placement of the black-and-white prints. And the impact upon our cognitive process of seeing, in close proximity to each other, close-ups of sand (“Etruscan Sand,” a 2009 photogram), “Rain” (a 2003 photograph) and “Crushed Shells” (a 2013 photogram) teaches us as much about ourselves as photography. Read more about the exhibit here. Jochen Lempert’s Field Guide is on display at the CAM until March 6. More info: cincinnatiartmuseum.org.

'Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie'
Photo: Joe Wardwell
ART: GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE AT WESTON ART GALLERY
The Weston Art Gallery hosts an opening reception for Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie, an exhibition organized by artist and sometimes-curator Todd Pavlisko. Gimmie will examine “the varied experience of amassing objects and the practice of collecting” by featuring installation work by artists Antonio Adams and Alfred Steiner, as well as iconic works by world-renowned artists including Vito Acconci, Chris Burden, Ana Mendieta and Adrian Piper. Opening reception: 6-8 p.m. Friday. Through Jan. 17. Free. 650 Walnut St., Downtown, cincinnatiarts.org/weston-art-gallery

Photo: Provided
HOLIDAY: SHOP: CINCINNATI AT BRAZEE STREET STUDIOS
Peruse one-of-a-kind gifts for the holidays (or just because) at C-LINK Gallery’s annual SHOP: Cincinnati exhibition. Beginning Friday, the gallery inside Brazee Street Studios will showcase a treasure trove of handmade items crafted by local artists, including everything from jewelry, ceramics and ornaments to greeting cards, paintings and more. Get started 6-9 p.m. Friday at the first of two free receptions. Through Dec. 26. Prices vary. C-LINK Gallery, 4426 Brazee St., Oakley, brazeestreetstudios.com

'As You Like It'
Photo: Mikki Schaffner
ONSTAGE: AS YOU LIKE IT
Who knew cross-dressing could be such fun? Apparently Shakespeare did. All the actors on the Elizabethan stage were men, so having Rosalind dress as a man while hiding in the Forest of Arden was a kind of double-down trick. While disguised, she finds the forest’s trees covered with love poems about her “real” self. What’s a girl to do? That’s what As You Like It is about. One of Shakespeare’s most popular comedies, it’s a good-natured choice for the holidays. Audience favorite Sara Clark will play Rosalind; she excels with verbal comedy, so be prepared to laugh. Through Dec. 12. $22-$39. Cincinnati Shakespeare Company, 719 Race St., Downtown, 513-381-2273, cincyshakes.com.

EVENT: BOURBON AND BOW TIE BASH
A fundraiser for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund. This benefit coincides with National Diabetes Awareness Month, and activities include food pairings, bourbon tastings, a photobooth, silent auction and a live bow-tie experience auction. 7-11 p.m. $35 with bourbon tasting. Music Hall, 1241 Elm St., Over-the-Rhine, 513-793-3223.

EVENT: NACHT DER TRACHT
A dance party where German costumes are encouraged. 8 p.m. Christian Moerlein Brewing Co., 1621 Moore St., Downtown, christianmoerlein.com.

SATURDAY
Festival of Lights
Photo: Cincinnati Zoo
HOLIDAY: FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS
It’s that time of year again — more than 2 million sparkling lights illuminate the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden, transforming its exhibits and landscape into an exuberant “Wild Wonderland.” New in 2015 are a Wild Lights Show on Swan Lake and a Frozen-themed area where guests can meet Anna and Elsa. Other festival features include visits with Santa and Mrs. Claus, the Toyland Express Train Ride and a black-light show by Madcap Puppets. Remember to stop by the Holiday Post Office and the newly themed Gingerbread Village, where you can peek through the windows of each house to find the mouse that lives inside. Through Jan. 2. $27 adults; $21 seniors/children. 3400 Vine St., Avondale, 513-281-4700, cincinnatizoo.org

Victory of Light Expo
Photo: Provided
EVENT: VICTORY OF LIGHT EXPO
This psychic festival has been Cincinnati’s premier body, mind and spirit event for more than 20 years. With 79 seminars and more than 250 exhibitors, it’s the best opportunity for exploring alternative spirituality in the Midwest. Seminars feature dozens of experts as they speak about dreams, past lives, meditation, tarot, astrology and more. Other activities include holistic healing sessions, live music, book signings, psychic artists, aura photography and shopping. 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. $15 daily; $25 weekend. Sharonville Convention Center, 11355 Chester Road, Sharonville, victoryoflight.com

Black Dance is Beautiful
Photo: Provided
DANCE: BLACK DANCE IS BEAUTIFUL
Help arts advocate and People’s Liberty Project Grant recipient Quiera Levy-Smith celebrate the Black Dance is Beautiful festival during a free performance featuring African-American choreographers and dancers from four companies. Included are two groups from Cincinnati: Bi-Okoto Drum & Dance Theatre, directed by Adebola T. Olowe, Sr., and Studio Kre8v, the Hip Hop dance team of urban arts center Elementz. From Columbus comes dynamic all-male company Berry & Nance (pictured). Rounding out the bill is Terence Greene’s Cleveland-based Greene Works Project. Cincinnati Ballet soloist James Gilmer also performs. 7 p.m. Saturday. Free with registration on the website or at the door beginning at 6:15 p.m. Walnut Hills High School, 3250 Victory Parkway, Walnut Hills, blackdanceisbeautiful.com.

EVENT: MUSTACHE BALL CRAWL
Embark on bar and restaurant group 4EG’s Mustache Ball Crawl on Saturday to benefit the Testicular Cancer Society and Midwest Rugby Development Foundation. The bar crawl kicks off with free appetizers at event presenter The Sandbar; then, head to Mt. Adams Pavilion, The Righteous Room, Igby’s and O’Malleys. Ticket price includes round-trip transportation and drink specials, including $2.50 domestic beers and $2 off drafts, at all participating locations. 8 p.m. Saturday. $30. Begins at The Sandbar, 4609 Kellogg Ave., California, thesandbarcincinnati.com.  

'A Little Bird Told Me'
Photo: Sara Pearce
HOLIDAY: STUDIO COLLECTION HOLIDAY SALE
Twelve well-regarded Cincinnati artists and artisans have banded together for a Studio Collection Holiday Sale Saturday. Judy Dominic, Jennifer Gleason, Renee Harris, Lisa Inglert, Terri Kern, Pam Korte, Mary Mark, Sara Pearce, Margaret Rhein, Melinda Ramos, Ursula Roma and Pat Statzer will be offering everything from ceramics, painting and prints to handmade condiments, hand-dyed clothing and handmade jewelry. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday. Free. Harmony Lodge, 646 E. Epworth Ave., Spring Grove Village, harmonylodge.com/studiocollection

Will Kimbrough
Provided
MUSIC: WILL KIMBROUGH
If there’s one phrase that Will Kimbrough’s family and friends don’t use in conversation with the renowned Roots/Rock singer/songwriter, it would have to be, “When you have some spare time..." The concept of unused hours in a day has to be fairly foreign to Kimbrough, who generally maintains a schedule that would exhaust three burly roadies. Kimbrough’s docket is routinely packed with studio session work, touring gigs and production projects (for the likes of Jimmy Buffett, Todd Snider, Rodney Crowell, Steve Earle, Guy Clark and a host of other luminaries), as well as his various band/solo activities, the latter of which now includes Daddy, his group with fellow singer/songwriter Tommy Womack, and the minor supergroup Willie Sugarcapps, which also features singer/songwriter Grayson Capps and the members of the Folk duo Sugarcane Jane. Read more about Kimbrough in this week's Sound Advice. Will Kimbrough performs Saturday at Southgate House Revival. More info/tickets: southgatehouse.com.

SUNDAY
'The Art of the Brick'
Photo: Cincinnati Museum Center
ATTRACTIONS: THE ART OF THE BRICK
Millions of LEGO bricks are taking over the Cincinnati Museum Center. Anticipated exhibit The Art of the Brick features more than 100 artworks created by contemporary artist Nathan Sawaya using nothing other than LEGOs. Explore life-size human figures, a 20-foot-long T-Rex skeleton and replicated famous paintings, including “Starry Night” and “Girl with a Pearl Earring,” plus familiar sculptures like “The Thinker” and the Sphinx. Sawaya has also created a Cincinnati-themed piece that will be revealed when the exhibit debuts. Create your own LEGO masterpieces in the interactive Brickopolis, and don’t miss special themed days revolving around Star Wars, dinosaurs, superheroes and more. Through May 1. $19.50 adults; $12.50 children 12 and under. Cincinnati Museum Center at Union Terminal, 1301 Western Ave., Queensgate, 513-287-7000, cincymuseum.org.

Fountain Square Ice Rink
Photo: Provided
HOLIDAY: ICE RINK AT FOUNTAIN SQUARE
Fountain Square’s Ice Rink is officially open, offering daily skating and special events (like frozen-turkey bowling Nov. 24) all the way through February. Rent a pair of skates on-site and spend the day in the heart of downtown. Open daily. $6 admission; $4 skate rental. Fifth and Vine streets, Downtown, myfountainsquare.com

Poinsettia Express at Krohn Conservatory
Photo: Gary Kessler
HOLIDAY: POINTSETTIA EXPRESS AT KROHN CONSERVATORY
Take a walk through a winter wonderland at Krohn Conservatory. The conservatory’s holiday floral show, Poinsettia Express, takes visitors through a charming array of floral arrangements whose colors resemble candy canes as toy trains carry peppermints through a village of gingerbread houses. In the Schmalz Family Holiday Village, see motionettes from the 1940s and ’50s Shillito’s and Pogues display windows, Santa music boxes, a 12-foot Christmas tree and even a model of a town inspired by A Christmas Carol. Through Jan. 3; special evening hours 5-7:30 p.m. Dec. 9 and Dec. 16-23. $7 adults; $4 children. Krohn Conservatory, 1501 Eden Park Drive, Eden Park, cincinnatiparks.com/krohn-conservatory

Bill Nye
Photo: Provided
LIT: BILL NYE
Bill Nye, the quintessential science guy and public defender of evolution, discusses his latest book, Unstoppable: Harnessing Science to Change the World, at the main branch of the public library. Unstoppable combines optimism and scientific curiosity to examine today’s environmental issues, positing that global warming isn’t an insurmountable problem but a chance for our society to rise to the challenge to create a cleaner, healthier and smarter world. Nye also debunks some of the most persistent myths about our current environmental issues. 7 p.m. Sunday. Free; tickets to signing line sold out. Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County, Main Branch, 800 Vine St., Downtown, cincinnatilibrary.org

FILM: HOMEBODIES
A rare public screening of Homebodies, a “lost” movie filmed in Cincinnati’s West End and released in 1974, will take place Sunday at the main library. The film by Larry Yust is a very dark comedy about some desperate pensioners who, when their apartment building is targeted for demolition as part of urban renewal, resist by trying to kill all those who want to move them out. After the screening, there will be a panel discussion with former Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory, librarian Christopher Smith (who has researched the film’s locations) and two police officers assigned to the Homebodies detail, Howard Nichols and Tom McAlpin. 2 p.m. Sunday. Free. Huenefeld Tower Room, Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County, Main Branch, 800 Vine St., Downtown, cincinnatilibrary.org.

Sinkane
Photo: Martine Carlson
MUSIC: SINKANE
What do Caribou, of Montreal, Born Ruffians, Eleanor Friedberger and Yeasayer have in common? Besides a propensity for edgy Electro Pop, they’ve all collaborated with Ahmed Gallab —better known as Sinkane — to add a unique spice to their musical recipes. In his solo career, Sinkane combines several connected yet disparate genre elements — Funk, Afropop, Soul, Jazz, Psychedelia, Krautrock — creating a silky, sensual sonic experience that seeps into your pores like a healing balm while simultaneously inspiring you to dance with dervish-like intensity. Read more about Sinkane in this week's Sound Advice. See Sinkane with Steven A. Clark Sunday at MOTR Pub. More info/tickets: motrpub.com.

Drew Hastings
Photo: Provided 
COMEDY: DREW HASTINGS
Drew Hastings is a stand-up comic, entrepreneur and the newly re-elected mayor of Hillsboro, Ohio. He was impressed with how voters responded to Issue 3. “I’m glad people who support legalization weren’t like ‘pot at any cost,’ ” he says, referring to the proposed monopoly system the law would have created. “I was saying a lot of the pot lobbyists are having meetings behind closed doors with rolled-up towels at the bottom of them. It’s ironic it was called a marijuana initiative, because I’ve found that initiative is the one thing marijuana knocks out of you.” As for his shows at Go Bananas this week, Hastings says, “You can expect a lot of political incorrectness.” Thursday-Sunday. $12-$18. Go Bananas, 8410 Market Place Lane, Montgomery, gobananascomedy.com

EVENT: TASTE OF LEBANON
St. Anthony of Padua hosts a festival featuring the food and culture of Lebanon. Enjoy falafel, kibbee, stuffed grape leaves while listening to live Middle Eastern music and watching traditional dances. Noon-6 p.m. Free admission. St. Anthony of Padua Church, 2530 Victory Parkway, East Walnut Hills, staparish.org.

MONDAY 
EVENT: I HATE MONDAYS LASAGNA POP-UP 
If you hate Mondays but love lasagna, you may be a human (or a fat orange cat?). Please/chef Ryan Santos and The Pharmacy Co have teamed up to present I Hate Mondays, a lasagna night pop-up dinner. This monthly Monday night event will feature a vegetarian and traditional meat lasagna with a guest lasagna from a chef — this month it’s Wright. BYOB. First come, first served. 7 p.m. $8-$12. The Pharmacy Co., 18 W. Seventh St., Third Floor, Pendleton, facebook.com/pleasecincinnati


TUESDAY

Taft's Ale House
Photo: Jesse Fox
EVENT: FEASTGIVING BEER AND CHOCOLATE PAIRING DINNER

Taft’s Ale House and Maverick Chocolate Co. join forces for a pre-Thanksgiving dinner. Seating is very limited for this four-course meal, paired with Taft beer and Maverick chocolate. 6:30 p.m. $50. Taft’s Ale House, 1429 Race St., Downtown, 513-334-1393.



























 
 
by Jac Kern 11.06.2013
Posted In: Humor, Holidays, TV/Celebrity at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-3

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

One good thing about Halloween falling on a Thursday is that we get two weekends of celebrity costumes to dissect.

Heidi Klum always pulls out the stops for Halloween, hosting a major bash every year. And her costumes are always over-the-top. This year is no different, though Heidi wasn’t dressed in a crazy cyborg suit or a scary Kali goddess getup — Ms. Project Runway was unrecognizable as an old ass lady!

There’s a 15 percent chance this is actually just Heidi Klum after a week with no Botox, green juice or airbrush artists.

There are essentially three categories in which Halloween costumes fall: “sexy” costumes, offensive costumes and pop culture costumes. As Julianne Hough proved with her Orange Is the New Black-face ensemble, it’s typical for costume categories to overlap. Here are my fave star costumes of the year, which happen to all be celebs dressed as other celebs. #meta

Miley as Lil' Kim

                                                   Honey Boo Boo family as the Kardashian Klan

                                                                       Ellen as Nicki Minaj

Jenny McCarthy as Miley’s mouf

So apparently "funeral selfies" are a goddam thing – Bust, The Atlantic, Jezebel and others are all talking about the trend this week. Some people argue that kids of the digital age don’t know how to express their feelings except by documenting every passing moment — no matter how somber — on social media. This is just the modern way of grieving! Which actually make sense because, come to think of it, when I went to a funeral as a young teen, all the kids would snap self-portraits in church with disposable cameras, run to Walgreen’s afterward and then scan them to our LiveJournal pages — hashtags just weren’t invented yet! Oh wait, none of that actually happened because that’s fucking strange behavior no matter your generation.

Guy Fieri né FERRY is all over the news this week. The intolerable TV “chef” got into a recorded altercation with his drunk hairdresser who had just gotten sloshed on a plane (taking them to Flavortown, I presume).

Fighting is never the answer, children, but who wouldn’t want to beat down the person responsible for basing a real hairstyle...

...off of a hat primarily given as a gag gift: