With two episodes of Breaking Bad left, everyone’s gone a little Walter White crazy — you’d think actual meth fumes were being released from our televisions. Jimmy Fallon & Co. have had a Breaking Bad spoof in the works for a while now, teasing fans all the while with photos and hashtags like #JokingBad.
The nearly 13-minute sketch is a hilarious Late Night take on Bad, starring Fallon as Walt and (Steve) Higgins as Jesse and complete with all the references you’d expect, plus some cameos you wouldn’t. Bask in the glory that is “Joking Bad!” (Mild spoliers from seasons 1-4, if you’re being picky.)
And while we’re at it, check out Drakeing Bad — a blog of illustrations by Barry Schwartz and Shea Serrano (who brought the world Bun B's Rap Coloring and Activity Book) featuring iconic Breaking Bad scenes…with rapper/former Degrassi High student Drake randomly inserted, replacing various characters. Again, sort-of spoilers abound, so anyone who intends to watch Bad but isn’t caught up should proceed with caution (if at all). And may god have mercy on your soul.
Saturday Night Live returns to NBC for its 39th season Sept. 28 (Tina Fey will host; Arcade Fire is the musical guest) and with the new season comes lots of changes. We already know Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis and Bill Hader will no longer be gracing the SNL stage with their presence this year, and now newcomer Tim Robinson has been banished to the writers’ lair (JK, maybe it's really cool there). The rest of 2012-2013’s cast, including soon-to-be Late Night host Seth Meyers, is sticking around.
New people: Fresh featured players will include Beck Bennett (that suited dude in the AT&T commercials who spends far too much time in children’s classrooms), Kyle Mooney (he and Bennett are in comedy group Good Neighbor), Upright Citizens Brigade member and Cracked contributor Noel Wells (the only new female to join the cast), SNL writer Mike O'Brien, Comedy Central’s comic to watch Brooks Wheelan and John Milhiser, another UCB-er.
Changes: Meyers will retain his Weekend Update duties until he takes over Late Night in February and, possibly, throughout the full season. Last year’s featured player Cecily Strong will join him at the desk and take over Weekend Update when Meyers eventually leaves. Strong was probably best remembered for her character, Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party (which I still think is kind of meh) and a pretty accurate interpretation of a porn star-turned-home shopping model. We’ll see how she transitions into this much larger role!
Confession time! I’m kind of seriously into Insane Clown Posse Theater on Fuse. I
turned it on as a joke once, but now I actually find it pretty hilarious. (Note:
If anyone sees me rocking JNCOs and cornrows while drinking Faygo, send help!) It’s
basically Mystery Science Theater 3000 but with ICP’s Violent J and Shaggy 2
Dope unleashing their offensive insights on an array of music videos.
They also bring on guests like Tom Green, Coolio and comedian Jim Norton, talk with them for a little bit, react to more videos and then awkwardly tell them to leave. I never would have guessed ICP could be so entertaining and —dare I say — likable! I mean, I’d think they would just objectify video vixens, which they certainly do, but there’s an equal amount of homo-erotic comments I’d never expect. And their constant inaccurate facts that have to be corrected onscreen get me laughing every time. At the very least, add this to your “drinking show” watch list, because that is a perfectly acceptable pastime as well as a good way to categorize TV shows, OK? Catch ICP Theater at 11 p.m. Wednesdays on Fuse.
Taystee from Orange Is the New Black (Government name: Danielle Brooks) is gonna be a Girl, the series’ first black female character.
Every mother and girlfriend’s worst nightmare was was released Tuesday as Grand Theft Auto V. The game allows players to wreak havoc on the streets of San Andreas, get high and drunk and even check out a strip club where dancers in private rooms give a topless show (digital boobs!). So yes, the infamous game has and will continue to spark controversy and backlash over the amount of violence and overall incorrigible behavior, but anyone with half a brain cell who watches or plays the game can see it is rife with satire, almost making fun of the culture it represents. The visuals, attention to detail and amazing pop culture and allegorical Easter eggs woven in the game are nothing short of astounding.
Get your character this Drive-esque jacket and crush skulls in style!
How often do you think, “Good job, fast food restaurant,” or “Smart advertising, national chain eatery!”? Probably never, and that’s why Chipotle’s new promo, The Scarecrow, is getting so much attention. The fast-casual Mexican chain has cut ties with McDonald’s (its former majority partner) and plans to be the first U.S. restaurant chain to go GMO-free. Now, with this haunting anti-factory farm ad (with a little help from Fiona Apple on vocals), Chipotle is taking its “Food With Integrity” motto even further.
Back-to-school shopping was always pretty fun as a kid, but for child divas of the ‘80s and ‘90s, Lisa Frank made school supplies more than just educational basics — they were Technicolor accessories you were allowed to bring to school! Lisa Frank produced folders, posters, backpacks, pencils, notebooks and other craft and school supplies in the ‘80s and ‘90s that featured vibrant, colorful characters. It's like a child-friendly acid trip come to life. As The Atlantic reveals below, Lisa Frank is actually a real person and, despite the fact that she is a very private person, she recently gave a brief promotional interview after Urban Outfitters bought her vintage stock. Check it out, take the hand of a rainbow tuxedoed panda and walk down memory lane (and look out for a young Mila Kunis!) as you peek into Lisa Frank Incorporated:
Today, as Americans and people across the world remember 9/11, concerned about a possible war between the United States and Syria, young people are left with one question: What rhymes with hug me? Yes, Robin Thicke's “Blurred Lines,” the song version of that friend who was really fun at a party but doesn't know when to throw the towel in and call a cab, features plenty of questionable lyrics, but "You wanna hug me/What rhymes with hug me" has turned the average Top 40 listener into a regular investigative reporter. What does rhyme with “hug me?!” Thankfully, the WRWHM lyric generator is here to help, with a variety of fun options. Unfortunately, if you’re a rhyme Nazi like myself, you’ll be disappointed to find many non-rhyming examples, similar to the assumed "fuck me" in the song. (He's inferring "fuck me," right? Right?!)
Fifty Shades of Grey, the Twilight fan fiction that made it OK for women to openly read shitty romance novels again (thank god!), has been on its way to the silver screen for a while now. All the while, fans have been speculating who would portray the book’s main characters, particularly the BDSM-loving Christian Grey. Well, wait no more, horny moms — Sons of Anarchy’s Charlie Hunnam will soon be the recipient of endless deliveries of cable ties and Lane Bryant panties, as he is officially the face of Mr. Grey. I guess this is a good move for him because every human with a vagina will throw their dollars and undies at anything Shades, but Jax Teller? Really? Taking on the role of Grey’s girl, Ana, is Dakota Johnson, daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, who I’ve referred to as “the Stanford girl who slept with Justin Timberlake in The Social Network” more than once. Here are some peeps who turned down the roles.
Four years ago, Mac from Always Sunny (in Season Five’s “The World Series Defense”) wrote a very emotional, sticker-filled letter to Philadelphia Phillies’ second baseman Chase Utley. It’s been a long wait, but Utley finally responded.
Ever want to watch celebrities recount their first sexual encounters to your favorite Full House heartthrob? I know, you’ve been waiting for years. Finally, here’s Losing It With John Stamos.
Australian comedian Chris Lilley is back with a new project featuring one of fans’ favorite characters. For those unfamiliar with the comic chameleon that is Lilley, cancel all of your plans, log onto HBO Go (or borrow someone’s account) and watch Summer Heights High and Angry Boys (Lilley’s first series, We Can Be Heroes, is not available to stream anywhere as far as I can tell, but you should buy that shit if you can find it). Lilley makes these amazing mockumentary-style series in which he plays multiple characters, often different genders, ages and nationalities, and he does so in a way that is so realistic, poignant, raw and hilarious, you’d really have to think twice before calling it “drag” or “blackface” — he becomes these characters.
In Lilley’s upcoming series, he will reprise his role of Ja’mie King, prissy bitch supreme featured in WCBH and SHS. Ja'mie: Private School Girl will debut on HBO Nov. 24. Please enjoy this Ja’mie mash-up, you fugly povos.
And as we welcome on new series, we say goodbye to another: True Blood will end after its seventh season next summer. Bon Temps better go out with a bang. And by bang, I mean a barrage of full-frontals (Spoilers!).
Think “selfies” were limited to teenagers at the mall food court, drunk girls at bars and an alarming amount of people in bathrooms? Broaden your scope to include law enforcement with Cop Selfies, which sadly also include plenty of toilet shots:
And even one with Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger.
Possibly more depressing than the fact that police make duckfaces, too? The Rich Kids of Instagram, what started as a blog highlighting the hashtagged lives of the young and privileged, are reportedly getting their own show.
Start jogging in place to raise those endorphins, because your mood is LIT’RALLY going to plummet when you hear this news: Pawnee’s Chris Traeger and Ann Perkins are leaving our lives as Rob Lowe and Rashida Jones will be exiting Parks and Rec mid-way through the upcoming sixth season. The hot-and-cold couple decided to make a baby in last season’s finale, so hopefully we’ll get to see Chris obsess over Ann and the baby’s health — I shudder to think about the gargantuan prenatal vitamin he’ll force down poor Ann Perkin’s throat — and the subsequent birth of the most attractive baby ever.
What angsty teen didn’t grow up with Daria, worshiping Ms. Morgendorffer’s monotonous snark, too-cool-for-school edge and perfect Doc Martins? Well, 10 years later, Daria’s back (NOT REALLY), in the flesh, for a Lawndale High reunion, in this faux movie trailer:
Ellen DeGeneres is hosting the Oscars! The funnylady, a 100 percent upgrade from last year’s host, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarland, confirmed the news on Twitter:
Everybody is happy about this because everybody obviously loves Ellen, except probably One Million Moms, who can all eat one million dicks for all I care. GO ELLEN.
The Doctor is in — Peter Capaldi will replace Matt Smith in Doctor Who, making him the 12th actor to portray The Doctor on the show, the longest-running sci-fi series. Capaldi is best known for his role on the British political satire The Thick of It (which inspired HBO’s Veep), which is available on Hulu. He steps in front of the camera as Doctor No. 12 this fall.
Time Warner Cable users have even more to complain about than usual as the provider has dropped CBS and Showtime “due to outrageous demands for programming.” This blackout does not result in a price cutback for customers and it especially sucks for people who just recently got into Ray Donovan.
Hey, Mumford & Sons have a new music video. Something look a little off to you?
Comedy Central Roasts are generally reserved for washed up celebs and veteran comics, but the network is gonna try something new with the Roast of James Franco. Hosted by BFF Seth Rogen, the roast is sure to draw in an even bigger, younger audience. Yes, we all love it when Seth and James get together (see: the last decade), but the real laughs will come when the seasoned roasters sink their teeth in ole Franco.
There are two types of people who spend too much time on the Internet. People who troll comments, who need to have their toenails removed one by one, and people who do this, who should be showered in champagne.
are no strangers to harsh public scrutiny – just ask Miss Utah USA, Marissa
Powell. But most contestants don’t have to worry
about being criticized for being too cute. At the 25th annual
World’s Ugliest Dog Contest in Petaluma, Calif., freaky is fabulous. You’ll
find everything from hairless, cross-eyed mutts with missing body parts to
patchy, freckled pooches with potbellies and snaggleteeth. The Chinese crested,
seen here, is an iconic “Ugly” dog with features often exhibited by this
contest’s winner — but not this year.
Pictured: a NOT UGLY ENOUGH DOG
This weekend, Walle, a “late entry” 4-year-old beagle-boxer-basset mix, won the crowd over with his gigantic head (ugly?), the hump on his back (ugly?) and the ability to sit upright on his butt (ugly?!). Like Potter Stewart, when it comes to ugly, I know it when I see it and I ain’t seein’ it. Sashay away, Walle. You’re too pretty for this game.
What do you get
when you cross the egotistical prince of Hip Hop with a beloved stylistic
filmmaker? Kanye Wes.
Molly Miley Cyrus’
evolution into full-on festival groupie/Tumblr chick is complete. Check out her
new vid for “We Can’t Stop,” featuring cameos by taxidermy, a My Size Barbie, Pepto-Bismol blood, smoke bomb crotches and a hot dog piñata:
Noisey raises some “important questions” about the video since it is both impossible and futile to even form an opinion about it. All I know is Miley’s fervent ass shaking/slapping and non-drug references are making me totally uncomfortable. Just a few years ago I relied on older friends to explain drug stuff to me and now I’m feeling totally weirded out by Miley and her rolling (or whatever the term is now), twerking, thumb-sucking friends. Yet, I can’t stop…watching this freaky mess over and over!
Is your stockpile of Twinkies starting to dwindle? Fear not, Tallahassee, because select Hostess snacks are set to be back on store shelves July 15. Metropoulos & Co. and Apollo Global Management teamed up to buy Twinkies, CupCakes, Donettes and other Hostess cakes so we can continue to fill our bodies with preservative-rich baked goods for years to come.
The Steve Jobs biopic starring Ashton Kutcher is in theaters Aug. 16. Check out the new trailer:
Ashton’s Steve Jobs is legit but, so help me God, if I have to hear that Macklemore & Ryan Lewis song one more time…
Nik Wallenda crossed a gorge near the Grand Canyon on live television Sunday,
walking 1,500 feet above the ground on a two-inch cable, and didn’t fall to his
death. Good job, Nik! Wallenda comes from a family of tightrope walkers — his great-grandfather
Karl Wallenda, born in Germany in 1905, began performing at age 6. Nik became
the first person to cross Niagra Falls on a high wire last June and Sunday’s
stunt gave him the title as the first aerialist to walk directly over the Little
Colorado River Gorge. There weren’t any harnesses, cables or safety nets — just
a pole to hold for balance. Wallenda prayed loudly to Jesus throughout the
23-minute spectacle. At the peak of the gorge crossing, 13 million viewers tuned in either on TV or online, a staggering number compared to the 2.7
million who tuned into the game-changing Mad
Men finale also on Sunday night (the series’ biggest audience ever). Why do people watch this stuff? It's kind of sick, even if there's a 10-second body splatter insurance delay.