The 64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards took place Sunday night. Each year I get excited for
this one awards show dedicated to television, and every year I forget how
boring and predictable it usually is.
First off, there is no booze served at the Emmys (unlike
the drink-friendly Golden Globes which honor TV and film), and that just puts a
damper on everything. Pre-show red carpet interviews have to be one of the most
uncomfortable interactions ever (I swear one E! douche bag actually said, “I don’t really
care, ‘cause we’re dudes, but it’s my thing tonight — Who are you wearing?”
Gag.) — stars need some hooch to make it all OK.
Then there are the clear academy favorites that are continually nominated year after year for no apparent reason — Can’t we all agree Big Bang Theory lacks any real humor or geek cred? But I suffer through the Emmys just in case there’s a redeeming wardrobe malfunction or surprise winner.
Raise your hand if you're tired of faux nerdery!
Jimmy Kimmel made an entertaining host, playfully poking fun at various celebs and, in a particularly funny bit, showed an “In Memoriam” video of himself, stating that we shouldn’t wait until stars are dead to remember their work.
The big winners of the night were Showtime’s drama series Homeland, the HBO movie Game Change and ABC’s Modern Family (one of those perpetual comedy winners).
Fashion trends for the night (and fall in general) included bold solids and metallics, but I always find it interesting just a few stars sport very similar, striking looks. This year it was apparently good luck to mimic the award statue — all dressed in yellow, Julianne Moore (Game Change), Julie Bowen (Modern Family) and a pregnant Claire Danes (Homeland) each walked away with a golden lady for their respective leading performances.
The good: Tracy Morgan faked a medical issue to generate buzz, Amy Poehler and Julia Louie-Dreyfus “accidentally” swapped acceptance speeches and Jon Stewart kept censors on their toes during his acceptance speech on behalf of The Daily Show (which makes 10 wins in a row for the show). I was happy to see Jessica Lange honored as best supporting actress in a miniseries/movie — and, really, how smart of them to re-define American Horror Story each season, categorizing it as a miniseries. The always-hilarious Louis C.K. was "vindicated" with two Emmys for his writing on Louie and his stand-up special, Louis C.K.: Live at the Beacon Theater. And while the drama category was filled with some of my favorite shows, a very deserving Homeland pretty much swept the category. Aaron Paul was awarded for his role as Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad, to which I say, “Yeah, bitch!” While Paul may have been confused during fashion week, he must have picked up some style tips on the catwalk, because his chocolate suit was sick, and only enhanced by his fiance’s coordinating gown.
All together now: Aww!
Season 4 of Breaking Bad was outstanding, and I’m a Jesse fan but…
The bad: Giancarlo Esposito should have won for his performance in Breaking Bad. I will never not be terrified of him after seeing him as the disturbing Gus Fring. I would have liked to see Kristen Wiig win for her last season on SNL. And Jon Cryer? I love ya, Duckie, but Two and a Half Men does not belong in the awards arena.
"Wait, me? Are you guys sure?"
So, it was mostly a snoozefest, but at least we had the opening skit featuring all the leading ladies and, namely, a “nude” Lena Dunham eating cake in a bathroom stall.
In non-Emmy news, Clint Eastwood’s infamous
empty chair assault during the Republican National Convention is old news by
now, but that’s not going to stop the folks at Extra from babbling on about it. During an interview about his
film Trouble With the Curve, Eastwood
had this to say: "If
someone's dumb enough to ask me to go to a political convention and say
something, they're going to have to take what they get."
Is Amanda Bynes the new Britney? With Ms. Spears cleaning off
her Cheeto dust to fulfill her duties as “Britney, bitch”
on The X Factor, another
downward-spiraling starlet must accept the role as train wreck supreme. Sure,
Lindsay Lohan is the obvious candidate, but if you’ve been following the
“retired” actress of Nickelodeon fame, you know Bynes is barreling to the front
of the race. Seemingly out of nowhere, Bynes has recently had her car impounded after facing charges for a DUI, driving without a license (twice) and two hit-and-runs.
I will go as far as calling my dad in from the 'burbs to chauffeur my ass around (or, in dire situations, dealing with the living hell that is Ron’s Cab) to avoid traffic stops and drunk driving. Can’t these child stars payroll a driver to be available at their every whim, or call a damn taxi? Also, people are saying she's crazier than one of those silly characters she played when she was 12.
Apple sold more
than 5 million iPhone 5s over the weekend, completely running out of stock.
Those who didn’t camp outside Apple stores or take advantage of pre-sale offers
will have to wait until October for the newest iPhone, but
I borrowed my
boyfriend’s I tested one out all professional-like over the weekend. Here’s
the rundown. “Fastest, thinnest, lightest iPhone ever?” Yes. It's so light, it feels like a
toy phone that should have chiclets inside or something.
iPhone 5 prototype
The phone itself is
more compact, but the screen surface is actually larger. It’s equipped with 4G
LTE and features a new smaller, reversible charger. Siri remains pretty
inessential to those of us with the ability to look out windows, although I’ve found it moderately entertaining to ask it existential
questions and see how well it can decipher fake accents. And the cool, easy-to-use panoramic camera
feature is sure to set the Instagram world on fire.
German weekend is
upon us. Cincinnati hosts the largest Oktoberfest
in North America, bringing 500,000 people downtown to enjoy beer and bratwurst,
music and dancing. Oktoberfest takes over Fifth Street between Broadway and
Vine from noon-midnight Friday, 11 a.m.-midnight Saturday and 11 a.m.-10 p.m.
Sunday. Between filling up on Dunkel and sauerkraut, stop by the CityBeat booth
to pickup the official Oktoberfest guide, register for prizes and buy tickets
to next week’s MidPoint Music Festival. We’ll be accepting credit cards only because
staff members can’t be trusted with cash it’s 2012, so come see your
favorite staffers and get a wristband while they last!
If the food, booze, polka dancers and giant crowds don’t interest you, The Wahl Mobile Barbershop will be on hand Saturday and Sunday offering free shaves and facial hair trims to area gents. They’ll also be scouting for the Wahl Man of Cincinnati, so if you think you’ve got the best beard or mustache in town, show off your scruff! The winner will receive $500 and go on to compete for a national title. Whisker Wars much?
What contemporary pop art lover hasn’t dreamed of going back in time and hanging out at Andy Warhol’s Factory? Imagine: artists and socialites gathering to see and be seen, creative producing interesting works, music and drinks abound. Warhol may have come and gone, but on Friday night we can get a taste of what it was like as the Contemporary Arts Center hosts Machine: Andy Warhol and Photography. Coinciding with the Warhol exhibit is Green Acres: Artists Farming Fields, Greenhouses and Abandoned Lots, which looks at farming as activism and an art form. Friday’s dual opening reception is will be a feast for the senses with a DJ set by VHS or Beta and a photo booth projecting Factory-style screen tests across the museum. The party beings at 8 p.m. and is $10, free for members
Buff your bowling ball and mix up a White Russian, because Esquire Theatre hosts The Big Lebowski Quote-a-thon Saturday. Don your bed Dude ensemble for a costume contests, test your Lebowski trivia knowledge and participate throughout the screening by quoting your favorite lines. The movie begins at 10:30 p.m.
Nerds unite! The Cincinnati Comic Expo runs through Sunday at Duke Energy Convention Center, kicking off with a Geek Prom Friday. The expo will also feature arcades, panels, cosplay and even something called sci-fi speed dating! Of course, many attend to meet stars involved in comics, television and movies – guests include Star Wars’ fight and light saber choreographer Nick Gillard, Green Power Ranger Jason David Frank and Chandler Riggs, better known as Carl "Get out of here!" Grimes from The Walking Dead. Go here for ticket pricing, a full event lineup and more information
Back-to-school ads and fall fashion spreads can often lead to budget woes. A change in seasons inspires finding fresh duds, but if you’ve got a full closet and empty bank account, you’re kinda stuck with what you’ve got. Enter Swappy Seconds, Casablanca Vintage and Chicken Lays an Egg’s clothing swap. Here’s how it works: Pick at least five items from your wardrobe that are clean and in great condition, drop ‘em off at Mayday in Northside starting at 2 p.m Sunday. The ladies of Chicken and Casablanca will sort and arrange all these clothes, shoes and accessories, then open the doors at 3:30 pm. For $3 you can return and pick through the goods while enjoying Mayday drinks and dogs. And guys: this isn’t just for the ladies! The more who participate, the more treasures for the pickin’. You’ll clean out your closet and supplement your wardrobe for (300) pennies!
Channel your inner Marie Antoinette while supporting Transitions Global during tonight’s ELLiPSiS…The Masquerade. Guests are encouraged to dress in their best mystery disguise while enjoying music, art, cocktails, eats and a fashion show. Tickets are $35, $100 for VIP early admission, champagne, hors d'oeuvres and prime catwalk seating. Proceeds benefit Transitions Global, a non-profit organization that helps rehabilitate rescued sex traffic workers and reintegrates them back into society as strong, independent women. Learn more about this important charity here. Tonight’s masquerade at The Bell Event Center opens to the public at 7 p.m.
Actor and comedian Kevin Pollack performs at the Levee Funny Bone
tonight through Saturday in support of us upcoming book, How I Slept My Way to the
Middle: Secrets and Stories from Stage, Screen, and Interwebs. Pollack, who got his big movie break in the
Ron Howard/George Lucas adventure, Willow,
is best known for roles in A Few Good Men
and The Usual Suspects as well
as his spot-on impressions. Tonight’s show begins at 8 p.m.
He does a mean Christopher Walken.
If you missed this summer’s Fringe Festival or couldn’t make it to every show (it’s a difficult task!), Know Theater is presenting four encore Fringe performances through Saturday. Tonight’s Fall Fringe offerings include OCCUPY This: Tales of an Accidental Activist and Kevin J. Thornton: UNFRINGED. Solo performance OCCUPY This (7 p.m.) tells the story of a man who went to Occupy protests just to carry humorous signs but ended up believing in the cause. Thornton’s unscripted show (8:30 p.m.) blends comedic storytelling with original music to create a uniquely engaging performance every time. Find tickets and more information here.
An initiative of Green Umbrella, the Great Outdoor Weekend is this Saturday and Sunday. Hundreds of Cincinnati parks celebrate nature with more than 120 free events that are open to the public. Whether you are taking your dog out for a stroll around the neighborhood, planning a hiking trip to a local park you don't often frequent, or taking a camping trip, there's no better time than this weekend to take an outdoor adventure.
The first day at the Cincinnati Nature Center inspired our outdoor adventure and our next stop confirmed it. Devou Park is most famous for it's picture-perfect view of Cincinnati. On any given day, you might see a professional and his camera atop the hill taking a photo of the skyline, a couple picnicking or perhaps a duo that was just wed. The park is definitely known for it's view, but did you know it has several miles of hiking and mountain biking trails too? It wasn't hard for me to get lost underneath the canopy of trees and forget that I was less than five miles from downtown Cincinnati.
Does all of this outdoorsy talk have you searching for your old hiking boots yet? You're not the only one. Hundreds of people, rookies and seasoned outdoorsmen alike, are marking their calendars for the Great Outdoor Weekend. Before you set off into the wilderness, you could attend a seminar that will make you trail ready. Learn where to set camp, how to pack, and what to eat on your next trip by attending a Great Outdoors seminar and overnight with Roads Rivers and Trails.
Google unveiled its latest Easter egg of a search tool last week, inducing “bacon number” madness. Now when you’re playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, instead of cross-referencing IMDB, Googlers can simply type in the actor’s name and “bacon number” for an automatic calculation.
After hours of furious research, it was found nearly every human remotely involved in show business over the years (including ‘90s Nickelodeon star Kel Mitchell and silent actor Charlie Chaplin) are within just 2 degrees of Mr. Bacon. The only stars I could find with a higher number are Paula Abdul and Humphrey Bogart (who both have a whopping BN of 3). Here’s to Google: the company responsible for incredible technological advances that continues to make us waste time on the Internet and screw off at work.
Netflix Picks of the Week: Looking for something new on Netflix now that you’re all caught up on Breaking Bad and Celebrity Rehab? Check out Bobcat Goldthwait’s over-the-top pop culture massacre God Bless America and Winnebago Man, the humorously touching documentary about the angry star of an early viral Internet video.
Saturday Night Live returned for its
38th season Saturday. Jay Pharoah debuted as Barack Obama, with
Fred Armisen handing over the presidential torch. We also saw Taran Killam will
serve as Paul Ryan and Jason Sudekis will continue to play Mitt Romney
(squashing the rumors that he’d leave SNL
along with Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg). The trio is expected to appear
on SNL Primetime Edition, the special
election season show to air this Thursday and Sept. 27 on NBC. Seth McFarlane hosted
Saturday’s premiere, and to sum up his performance in one word: VOICES. HuffPo
breaks down the episode.
And as one television show kicks off, another comes to a close. Sunday brought the one-hour series finale of Showtime’s pot dramedy, Weeds. Without spoiling too much, the finale gave us a peek seven years into the future. The good news about 2019: the Botwin crew (plus Doug and Andy) is alive and mostly well. If the show's predictions pan out, fan-made renderings of an even-thinner, transparent future iPhone were totally spot-on; the next diet craze will feature Regina George’s all-carb regime; and, most importantly, marijuana will not only become legalized, but sold like cigarettes in stores and in edible forms at coffee shops. The bad news: Shane grows a bad ‘80s cop mustache.
Everyone has an opinion on TLC’s hillbilly hullabaloo, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, especially regarding the series’ matriarch, mama June and her scary Jabba neck. But have you seen The Real Housewives of Miami? I give you Mama Elsa: the stuff of surgical nightmares.
In music news, Ben Folds Five is back and showing some love to Jim Henson in this new video.
Steven Spielberg's Lincoln is due in theaters this November, and the trailer has just been released. Apparently 90 percent of Hollywood is in the film, including what I’m guessing is an Tupac-inspired Abraham Lincoln hologram (seriously, though, Daniel Day Lewis is scary good). I was totally captivated, swept away to the 19th century, up until Adam from Girls arrived on the scene. From 1:37 on, it was all union suits and depraved sex acts to me.
Alison Pill apparently
didn’t learn one lesson explored in the show on which she stars, because
homegirl accidentally tweeted a topless pic last week. The photo tweeted was meant for
boyfriend, actor Jay Baruchel, which reveals that Alison Pill has no idea what Twitter
is or how it works. It was removed immediately and, in the best reaction possible, Pill
owned up to the flub and apologized for being just as technologically inept as The Newsroom's MacKenzie.
Inspired by the Brooklyn Flea in New York, creators Nick and Lindsey Dewald created a true urban flea market feel in the Gateway Quarter in Over-the-Rhine. For people looking for more crafty items rather than just vintage, the market also was appealing as local artisans showcased their handmade jewelry, T-shirts, pottery and other art.
If you were willing to spend a little more money for a more modern look, Water and Salt had a beautiful display of handmade jewelry. The jewelry was reasonably priced and the artist was at her booth making the jewelry which is always a nice touch. If you didn't have a chance to see the jewelry at the flea, visit her shop on Etsy or catch her at another local event.
Along with many other vendors selling Cincinnati- or Ohio-related pieces, Sarah Horn Ceramics was selling beautiful handmade tiles. The tiles were painted with well-known Cincinnati landmarks and would make great holiday gifts or decorations. You can visit her site here.
This was the last outdoor City Flea of the season but not to worry, there are more upcoming City Flea events where you can get your vintage and craft fix. On Oct. 20 from 10 a.m.-4 p.m., the City Flea will be back in action at American Can Lofts (4101 Spring Grove Ave., Northside). Admission is free.
Celebrate Halfway to St. Patrick’s Day during the Cincinnati Celtic Festival Saturday and Sunday. The free fest moves from Fountain Square to Washington Park this year, but continues to celebrate all things Celtic with plenty of music, food and entertainment. Knock back some Guinness, cheer on Irish dancers and get jig-y to the sounds of bagpipes between noon and 10:30 p.m. both days.
With local Celts
taking over the park, this month’s City Flea moves up the street to the lot at
Twelfth and Vine. Vendors will be hawking everything from clothing and
accessories to home goods and fine art from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. The City Flea is a fun one-stop spot to
support local artisans and sellers all under one roof. Sans roof.
Downtown isn’t hogging all the fun this weekend — Milford’s Longstone Street Festival brings more than 15 area bands to the ‘burbs Saturday. Area musicians will perform on two stages along Main Street where kid-friendly activities await (we’re talking a Velcro wall, bungee joust, rock climbing and more). Saunter through historic downtown Milford, stop in a few shops and restaurants and enjoy the music from 11 a.m.-11 p.m.
The fun continues west at the Westwood Art Show, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday. More than 70 artists, crafters and DIY-ers will be selling goods including photography, re-purposed jewelry and accessories, woodwork, sculptures, pottery, edibles and more.
This weekend’s theater offerings include Ensemble Theatre’s Good People, The Three Musketeers at Playhouse in the Park, To Kill a Mockingbird at Cincinnati Shakespeare Company and Covedale’s Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Peep the links for our reviews of each.
Browse our calendar for other events, art exhibits, volunteer opportunities and more to do this weekend.
The Capitol Steps is a political satire troupe with a cast of 30 members, many of whom have worked on Capitol Hill at some point. It began as a small skit at a Christmas party, but was so well-received that staffers rounded up others and took the show on the road. The Capitol Steps have been at it for more than 30 years, and they’re bringing the show to town for one night only at Mayerson JCC. Reserved seats are sold out, but a limited amount of tickets will be sold at the door for $30 ($25 for J Members). The show begins at 7 p.m. so show up early if you’re looking for tickets. Check out our interview with two "Steps," original member Elaina Newport and Cincy native Bari Biern, here.
Caracole provides safe, affordable housing and support services for Southwest Ohioans living with HIV and AIDS. The organization’s offices recently moved to Northside (4138 Hamilton Ave.) and tonight the crew hosts an open house celebration. Learn more about their services and check out the new digs while enjoying music, snacks, artwork and a photo booth from 4-9 p.m. Caracole is looking to stock up its donation pantry, so bring any toiletries and cleaning supplies you can contribute.
Ballet and ArtsWave present “Cocktails and Conversations,” as part of their
Friends for the Arts program. Celebrate remarkable women in business and the
arts at Cincinnati Ballet’s theater tonight at 7 p.m. Before the Kaplan New
Works Series show is a cocktail reception where guests can mingle with
influential women from the aforementioned organizations as well as area
philanthropists and entrepreneurs. Afterwards, enjoy new dance performances all
choreographed by women. Buy tickets here.
The Cincinnati Film Festival continues tonight at Esquire Theatre with Man from Orlando, Party Crashers, Shining Night: A Portrait of Morten Lauridsen and Street Paper. The fest closes tomorrow.
For more events, including concerts, art shows, theater performances and more, check out our full calendar.