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by Jac Kern 02.12.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Comedy at 04:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
archer

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Some believe that thousands of years from now, when people examine the things we post and share on the Internet (the horror!), our collective obsession with cat photos will mimic the Egyptians' feline-friendly hieroglyphics. While I’d hate to see this century remembered for I Can Has Cheezburger, our cat fancy cannot be denied. Further proof: Monopoly is replacing its iron piece (who knows what those are anymore, anyway?!) with a cat.

Most Archer fans know the voices behind their favorite ISIS staffers, but Vulture found the real-life inspiration for each animated character. How much tail do you think Sterling doppelganger Jason Fitzgerald is getting?

Snowstorm Nemo rocked the Northeast last week, and we all know what that means for grocery stores:


Is eye-posuction a thing? Lil’ Kim debuted her latest face recently, and homegirl doesn’t even look like the same species (perhaps she’s just another feline worshipper?). I’m sure I’d do a lot of fucked up stuff to myself if I was a badass millionaire rapper, but go under the knife to this point? I think not. What happened to our demure, pasty-sporting, natural beauty?

Another day, another reinterpretation of Disney princesses. People can’t get enough of that shit! Bust recently featured artist Yudi Chen’s awesome male versions of classic princesses, including “Cinderfella,” “The Little Merman” and a bearded Rapunzel.

One of the most annoying aspects of Facebook (and damn is that saying something) is getting its own television incarnation — Farmville: the TV show (via Videogum).

Who could forget Sweet Brown, the 2012 Internet sensation from Oklahoma City, Okla. whose spirited news interview post-apartment fire went viral? You may know her from the “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That” meme. Few surpass meme status, but Sweet Brown booked herself a dentist commercial! Via Dlisted:


If you’re an Always Sunny fan, you know all about the D.E.N.N.I.S. System, Dennis Reynold’s method for luring and abandoning women, aka “erotic conquests.” Find your own system for torturing romantic pursuits here. This is mine:

J - Justify Approach

A - Accept Fault

C - Cry Together

Q - Quality Time

U - Unexpected Action

E - Engage Physically

L - Lend Money

I - Inspire Hope

N - Nurture Dependence

E - End Relationship

Just in time for Valentine’s Day! (Thanks, Hannah!)

An Internet hacker known as Guccifer recently published photos and “sensitive correspondence” from the Bush family, including both former presidents. The most interesting find? Evidence of Dubya’s interest in the arts. Via The Smoking Gun:

Yes, this appears to be a self-portrait of GWB in the shower. All together now: Bush-hacked!

Now, look at all this stuff fitting perfectly into unrelated stuff: http://thingsfittingperfectlyintothings.tumblr.com/

 
 
by Jac Kern 02.28.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Is this for real? at 01:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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Beardwatch 2013

'Survivor' recap featuring Cincy's Matt Bischoff (and sometimes Reynold Toepfer)

Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites airs every Wednesday at 8 p.m. on CBS. Watch this week’s episode, “There’s Gonna Be Hell To Pay” here. (Skip to the last minute to check out a preview of next week’s ep, “Kill Or Be Killed.") This recap primarily follows the fans because the local Matt Bischoff and ex-Cincinnatian Reynold Toepfer are part of that tribe and I pretty much fast forward through all other scenes.


Even though Matt's alliance (six of the 10 Gota "fan" tribe members) voted off Allie last week, this week's episode opened with a very livid Shamar leaving tribal council. The Iraq War vet who seems to rub everyone the wrong way was angry that his name (voted by the four pretty people) was even on the chopping block. But his fury wasn't just directed at the three remaining cool kids. All of Gota felt his wrath, including Cincy's favorite beardo.


                                   Matt shaking his finger in Shamar’s face — something he was not allowed to discuss in a previous interview

Reynold continued his reign of douchiness by calling the vote to send Allie home "revenge of the nerds." Hey, Reynold: less bullshit, more bulge. Thanks.

Sherri talked about how she owns fast food franchises so she knows how to deal with awful teenagers, and hence, Shamar. Despite his apparently unbearable demeanor, she wants to keep him around. Shamar mentioned wanting to quit the game for about 30 seconds, but later decided he's "not gonna be the angry black man on Survivor." His revelation included an emotional story about being a a veteran and adjusting to life post-war.

Everyone quickly dried their tears and headed to the Immunity challenge, where the reward was "comfort" (beach chairs, a couple throw pillows, tarp and rope). It was a very close race, but the fans lost once again. At council, Shamar pulled out the classic reality show line — "They're trying to throw me under the bus!" — when the tribe pretty much collectively said that Shamar is a big old asshole.

The votes came in: three for Shamar, three for Hope and three for Eddie. You know what that means? It's time for a #revote! (WHO is seriously live-tweeting Survivor?).

Hope was voted out. Looks like Matt's alliance won't even turn on the utterly deplorable Shamar!

Next week: Rat hurricane!

I really can’t believe people watch this regularly.

 
 
by Jac Kern 03.01.2012
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Music, Fun, Events, Concerts at 01:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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Your Thursday To Do List

Doug Stanhope, Swizzle Soiree and more arts, theater and music suggestions

Comedian Doug Stanhope is performing at Go Bananas in Montgomery nightly through Sunday. Known for his sharp tongue and boozy performances, Stanhope is a comedy giant. He has released a number of comedy CDs and DVDs, toured around the globe and recently played a seriously deep character in an episode of Louie. Expect plenty of foul-mouthed fun. Tonight's show is at 8 p.m. Find details here.

Speaking of people who like to drink, tonight is our Swizzle Soiree, an annual celebration of the release of our bar guide. Head on over to PLAY downtown from 5:30-10:30 p.m. There will be free drink tickets and hors d'oeuvres from area restaurants, happy hour specials all night, music from Pop Empire and lots of giveaways — movie passes, shot glasses and two passes to Bonnaroo! Sign up to register and be present at 9 p.m. to win. It's gon' be fun. Check out the event on Facebook for more info.

The Cincinnati Opera's Opening Gala takes place April 28, with an after-party at the Duke Energy Center. In preparation for this "Late Night in Charleston," Japp's is hosting a happy hour tonight. Preview the event, and help the Opera decide which signature cocktail (by none other than Molly Wellman) to serve next month. The party runs 6-9 p.m. Go here for details.

Catie Curtis performs at the Clifton Cultural Arts Center, Yonder Mountain String Band will be at Madison Theater and Ultraviolet Hippopotamus play The Mad Frog tonight. Find live music details here.

Tonight in theater: Collapse at Know Theater, West Side Story at the Aronoff and Into the Woods at CCM. Find more recommended picks for tonight here.

Before you leave for the night, set up that DVR for Delocated, Awake, 30 Rock and more Thursday television gems. Peep our TV column for details.

 
 
by Jac Kern 05.07.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Music, Fashion at 01:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-2

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Everyone’s talking about the punk-themed Met Ball today, but I’m still in awe from last night’s RuPaul’s Drag Race season finale and reunion, where America’s Next Drag Superstar was crowned in true pageant style. It’s easy to confuse the two: both are over-the-top parades of outrageous fashion, debut ‘dos and bodies squeezed into numerous pairs of Spanx, but only one event has RuPaul, so I’m focusing on that one.

The spotlight was on the final three dragsters, Roxxxy Andrews, Jinkx Monsoon and Alaska, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Penny Tration, Cincinnati’s own queen supreme who was voted onto this season by viewers — only to be eliminated in the first episode.

via Homorazzi

Like any good queen, Penny varies up her looks, but I’ve never seen her like this before! E! put Penny on their worst dressed list, but any press is good press, right? With a leotard made from the fabric of the dress she wore when she was eliminated, manic makeup and a tiny tuft of hair on her big bald head, homegurl looked like a pageant baby Treasure Troll on crack, and by that I obviously mean she looked amazing.

via Homorazzi

Detox, who I originally pegged as the winner but only made it to the final four, also stole the show with this incredible black-and-white look. No Photoshop!

And Season 4 winner, Sharon Needles, served up Pee Wee Herman realness in this hot little number: