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by Jac Kern 01.31.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor, Fun, Music, Movies, Comedy, Commentary at 02:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

The Screen Actors Guild Awards were Sunday and I didn’t watch that low-budge mess, but here are the winners if you care. America’s girl crush, Jennifer Lawrence, nabbed an SAGy (?) for her role in Silver Linings Playbook (I know I’m late on this, but that movie is just great. Go see it.) After a non-wardrobe malfunction, JLaw accepted by citing the first job that got her the ubiquitous SAG card: an MTV My Super Sweet 16 promo.

Via Dlisted:

Local drag queen Penny Tration (government name: Tony Cody) was selected to be on the fifth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race via a Facebook fan vote. The season premiered Monday on Logo and, sadly, our girl was the first to sashay away. Now, call me biased (because I am), but Penny deserved at least another week. Having spent time in The SweatShoppe, Penny’s HQ and studio, I know she’s one of the hardest working queens in the biz. She makes her own clothing and wigs, does some outstanding makeup work and looked more like a real curvalicious lady than Serena ChaCha, the other queen up for elimination this week. When the two were instructed to lip sync for their lives, it was clear Ms. ChaCha was the winner (damn her splits!). Unfortunately, Penny did not know the lyrics to “Party in the USA,” so I think we can all just blame Miley for this tragedy. Penny, we still love ya! Keep doing yo thang.

Adrian Grenier (Vincent Chase to most but forever the Drive Me Crazy dude to me) tweeted big news for Entourage fans this week: the movie spinoff has been greenlit! Mind you, Entourage may follow in its sister Sex and the City’s footsteps by glossing over anything cool about the series and pooping out a 2-hour douchey bromance, but fans will certainly still flock to theaters to check it out.

Adapting TV shows for the big screen is nothing new — just look at Star Trek. In Entourage’s case, a successful show on HBO for eight seasons, a movie will provide one last chance for fans to see Vince and his buddies...and one last chance to squeeze any last profitability from the series. But what about adapting shows that weren’t necessarily successful on TV in the long term? Party Down was an excellent Starz comedy from 2009-2010. Adam Scott, Lizzy Caplan, Ken Marino and a bunch of other hilarious familiar faces from TV comedy portrayed a crew of kooky caterers, each episode following them to a different catered event. It got a lot of late-in-show life love from Netflix viewers (because who watches Starz?!) but was cancelled after two seasons. Ever since, there have been hopes and rumors of a film version from fans and cast members alike. While the crossover is still unconfirmed, here’s an awesome faux trailer, made from clips from the series, with a horror twist:

And because everyone loves Mrs. Doubtfire, check out a creepily realistic look at what the family film would look like if it had taken a dark turn.

If you’re like most theater kids or women between the ages of 10 and 110, then you can quote Mean Girls and Les Mis like a champ and you will love this.

Tonight is a night that myself and Lizbeans everywhere have been dreading for some time — the series finale of 30 Rock. You can read my full eulogy here, but I have to say while I’m happy the show is going out while it’s still good (Tina Fey and Alec Bladwin both snagged aforementioned SAG awards for their performances in the show), I’m really going to miss my weekly dose of Ms. Bossypants. From the beginning, 30 Rock has been a writer’s comedy and I will cherish every quote that has been ingrained in my brain over the past seven seasons (ex. "Live every week like it's Shark Week." - Tracy Jordan). On this momentous evening, I leave you with these life lessons from Liz Lemon.

My feelings are best described by this Claire Danes supercut:

by Jac Kern 03.02.2012

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's favorite pop culture and Internet findings of the week

Blues Night at the White House

No, it wasn’t a somber night of the Obamas watching the GOP race progress. Blues Night brought B.B. King, Buddy Guy and Mick Jagger to Washington for a night of great performances! The trio, along with many other performers, played classics like “Let the Good Times Roll,” “I Can’t Turn You Loose” and “Let Me Love You Baby.” No word on whether “Moves Like Jagger” was on the bill (sorry for making that get stuck in your head). The highlight of the night? Obama singing a few lines of “Sweet Home Chicago.” The concert aired on PBS Feb. 27.

My Strange Addiction

It’s baaaack! This hot mess of a show seems like it would be an SNL spoof on ridiculous reality shows, but it really exists. And who really knows if these people are truly “addicted” to their behavior, or just do it for attention — either way, it’s some twisted entertainment. This season of the TLC "hit" features a man who is in love with (as in sexually attracted to) his 1998 Chevy Monte Carlo; a woman who can’t stop snorting baby powder; a woman with 38KKK-sized breasts addicted to (you guessed it) breast augmentations and plenty more sorry souls.

Alcohol on the Internet

You’ve probably heard of What The Fuck Should I Make For Dinner, a comically crass blog that randomly generates unique recipes (and if you “don’t fucking eat meat,” there are plenty of veg options, too). Thankfully, now you can find out where to get a cocktail after dinner, with Where The Fuck Should I Go For Drinks. Just enter your location, and the site gives plenty of good options to wet your whistle.

I also discovered an amazing blog this week (That’s So Michelle) and instead of gushing, I’ll just explain one thing: It has a category devoted to Jell-o shots. And I’m not talking nasty lime gelatin-and-Popov crap, this shit is gourmet! Michelle uses excellent ingredients and ingenious flavor combinations to create shots of pink lemonade, caramel apple and strawberry margarita, all served in hollowed-out fruits. Bask:


Frankly, I’m disappointed in myself for just now discovering “Chloe.” This web show stars Drew Droege as Queen Original Hipster, Chloe Sevigny. Each episode is set up the same: Chloe introduces herself and discusses her appreciation of something mildly timely (Valentine’s Day, Summer, Resolutions). She then goes on to discuss how she celebrates the topic, name-dropping all along the way. From the unusual accent to the discussion of obscure activities to the amazing wardrobe, it’s hi-lar-i-ous. Again, I realize this has been around the ‘nets for a while, but I have to share with anyone deprived of Chloe as I was. Enjoy!

Baby Kanye Meme

OK, I’ve grown tired of this “everything’s a meme!!” trend happening, but sometimes there are decent ones amidst the sea of “What my friends think I do…” And since everything Kanye is generally entertaining, I present Baby Kanye: The Meme.


Design*Sponge’s "Living In" Page

D*S can do no wrong, so I love everything about it. But I’ve always particularly liked when blogs and magazines show me how to incorporate style from a movie into my real life. D*S’ “Living In” page covers all the best scenes you want to copy, from Cleopatra to Clueless. Most recently, the site featured Twin Peaks, Almost Famous and Chocolat.

Christopher Plummer

Remember in grade school when there would be “Star of the Week,” and that kid would bring in brownies and talk about his pet turtle and make a posterboard about his cool life? Beginners' Christopher Plummer is my Star of the Week. He’s proof that it's never too late to do something awesome. So if you’re 28 and crying because you hate your office job and you don't know what to do with your life, suck it up!  CP waited 82 damn years to get an Oscar! Check out his charming speech here.

by Jac Kern 06.20.2013
Posted In: Humor, TV/Celebrity, Music, Movies at 11:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Japan is the breeding ground for freaky trends that never (thankfully) make it across the ocean. In fall of 2012 we were introduced to “bagel heads,” a temporary look achieved by injecting saline into the forehead until a dome is formed, then creating a creating a small crater in the center. The end result looked like a bagel or donut implant in your forehead. Totes desirable. Then there's ganguro, a Japanese fashion trend where harajuku meet Snooki, resulting in orangey-tan girls that look freshly plucked from an anime cartoon (tanime?) and now…eyeball licking? Gawker reports conjunctivitis is running rampant in Japanese middle schools with the sudden popularity of kids licking each others' MFing eyeballs. Japan, I will take your cat cafés and affinity for all things tiny (see below) but keep your tongues away from my see-holes.

Portlandia has been renewed for two more seasons!

The Simpsons is definitely ingrained in American popular culture. Once an edgy, almost salacious TV show, Homer & fam are pretty mild in comparison to television’s modern-day exports — animated or otherwise. So it’s no surprise that Universal Studios announced a Simpson’s theme park to open this summer at its Orlando, Fla., resort with a full replica of the fictional town of Springfield. There’s a Krusty Burger, Kwik-E-Mart, Duff Brewery (yes, an actual brewery with beer created exclusively for the park) and, of course, Springfield would not be complete without Moe’s Tavern. Go here to check out photos and video from the newly-opened park.

Twitter Chitter: This week, everyone’s RTing Feminist Taylor Swift

Apparently Hodor (real name: Kristian Nairn), gentle giant and Bran Stark’s personal Segway on Game of Thrones, is actually a real 21st century person and DJ. Check him out!

                                                       If Hodor’s a DJ, Winterfell's a dance floor

Veneers, dwarf darts and chest beating — that’s what you can really look forward to going into The Wolf of Wall Street, Martin Scorsese’s new film based on the story of ‘90s stock market criminal type, Jordan Belfort. OK, that and Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill(‘s freaking veneers) and Matthew McConaughey.

Can Leo’s dance move at 1:34 be the new Harlem Shake?

The song playing in the background is off Kanye West’s new album, Yeezus, which came out Tuesday. Kanye, who apparently is a father now (apparently, because since Kim hasn’t produced so much as a bowel movement in the past decade without an accompanying press release, no one can really be too sure about this baby thing), promoted the new album with an American Psycho-inspired commercial — I am not calling this a short film — starring Scott Disick, Kourtney Kardashian’s baby daddy, and Jonathan Cheban, Kim K’s main butt buddy/occasional frienemy. Behold:

Before American Psycho fans call blasphemy, author Bret Easton Ellis has come out saying he actually wrote the spoof himself.

Mad Men’s penultimate season — arguably its darkest yet — wraps up this Sunday. Now that the merged agencies have agreed on a name and logo, they’re ready to go public! Check out this awesome press release (via Mad Men’s Facebook page) SC&P letter:

by Jac Kern 04.19.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Music, Events at 12:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Your Weekend To Do List: 4/19-4/21

“Mandy Patinkin, holla.”

That was Claire Danes’ shout-out to her Homeland co-star when she won an Emmy in 2012 for her role on the show. Fans across Cincinnati will be able to holla at him too (not really, that’s rude) as he performs with the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra Friday-Sunday. Sure, many know him as Saul Berenson on Homeland or the iconic Inigo Montoya from Princess Bride, but he’s a man of the theater, too, and this weekend he joins the CSO onstage for the first time since 1991. Read our interview with Mandy Patinkin here.

Krohn Conservatory’s annual International Butterfly Show opens Saturday, highlighting the butterflies of Morocco. The conservatory will fill with 16,000 colorful butterflies, floral displays and a hummingbird garden through June 30. Krohn is open 10 a.m.-5 p.m. every day; Admission is $4-$7.

Earth Day is technically April 22, but Cincinnati celebrates this Saturday at Sawyer Point. Enjoy live music, a fashion show of recycled materials and other family activities while learning how to get involved with green organizations and outdoor activities. The free event runs noon-5 p.m. Check out this week’s Green Issue for more information on native plant hikes, sustainable farms and outdoor classes, markets and events.

The Cincinnati Ballet promises one of the hottest parties of the year as they present Club B Saturday. The Cincinnati Masonic Center downtown will transform into a hoppin’ nightclub complete with cocktails, light bites and — of course — lots of dancing. There will also be a raffle with tons of great prizes. Tickets are a bit steep — $150 all-inclusive 7 p.m. admission; $50 tickets get you in after 10 p.m. — but the money goes to support this important local arts organization. Plus, how often can you say you’ve danced with a ballerina?

Saturday is Record Store Day and Greater Cincinnati is lucky to have four local stalwarts to choose from. Support our local music shops by picking up a new record as you enjoy live, in-store performances. Go here for details on how Everybody’s Records, Shake It Records, Mole’s Record Exchange and Phil’s Music & Memories are celebrating.

For more stuff to do this weekend, check out our To Do page or full calendar and Rick Pender’s Stage Door for weekend theater offerings.

by Jac Kern 07.17.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Music at 01:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

What a week, guys. While I usually like to keep things light around here, this week's pop culture round-up is peppered with some upsetting current events. So, if you experience an occasional case of the sads, watch Carley Rae Jepsen throw a terrible first pitch, rock out to Britney’s new song  or look at this adorable, tiny cat who’s being rehabilitated via crochet therapy.

By now you’ve heard about the Asiana Airlines Boeing 777 that crash landed at San Francisco International Airport the weekend before last. Three people have died as a result of the crash and more than 180 others were hospitalized for injuries. Unfortunately, when it comes to sharing the news of such catastrophes, many television networks are primarily concerned with breaking the story first. More than, say, getting the facts straight. Take it away, KTVU!

The San Fransisco Fox affiliate has retracted the information and apologized for the error, but Asiana confirms it will sue the station. It was recently revealed that a summer intern at the National Transportation Safety Board was the culprit who wrongfully confirmed the incorrect, racist — and, OK, some may say comical — names to KTVU. In other news, apparently the National Transportation Safety Board hires 10-year-old boys into its summer internship program!

So, to all our summer interns who get tired of fact-checking and entering calendar listings all day — sorry, guys. This is why you can’t have nice things.

Taking this whole mess a step further, comedian Patton Oswalt tweeted in response to the KTVU debacle:


Salon saw the tweet, gasped, clutched its pearls and unleashed an ever-updated story proverbially wagging its finger at Oswalt for being racist, even though his joke Tweet was completely within the context of the KTVU blunder. Check it out here.

Brooklyn-based writer Joe Veix submitted a hilarious post on BuzzFeed last week, only to have it deleted and then become banned from the site within minutes. What heinous article could he have possibly tried to publish? This awesome BuzzFeed parody. According to Bullett, Veiz said the community editor banned him for being “mean spirited,” but this shit is just plain funny to me.

Beyoncé performed a sold-out concert in Nashville this Saturday. In attendance were Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kandi Burruss (who actually wrote Destiny’s Child’s “Bills, Bills, Bills” and “Bug-a-Boo”),“Kid President” Robby Novack and yours truly! A Beyoncé fan since I first put The Writing’s on the Wall in my Walkman, the show was a true spectacle and — I’m not a bit ashamed to admit — a dream come true. Mrs. Carter served up around 30 songs that spanned from her Destiny’s Child days (“Survivor”) to her early solo stuff (“Crazy in Love,” “Baby Boy”) to her most recent album (“Run the World,” “Love on Top”) and her newly leaked jams. One of my favorite performances of the night was her new leaked-but-not-officially-released song that’s featured on a Pepsi commercial, “Grown Woman.” Queen Bey, her pop-and-lockin’ duo, “Les Twins,” (new dream: to have my own ambiguously named sidekicks!) and backup dancers got down and played around onstage to an Afro-beat in more fun, casual attire than the dramatic garb of the rest of the show. I love my Divayoncé, but it was a refreshing departure and a great song.

At one point, Bey hopped on a harness and flew over the crowd to a smaller stage in the back of the arena...

                                    My very high quality, professional photo of this epic moment

...where she performed “Irreplaceable” — allowing a few lucky fans, including Kid Prez and one hoarse, hyperventilating mega-fan, to sing “To the left, to the left” — and “Survivor.” You best believe I did the choreography. Between acts, while Bey changed up her freakum dresses/weaves, they played these awesome short films — everything from Beyoncé as a broke-down princess to personal videos (everyone freaked when we saw her kiss Blue Ivy, and a shot of her with President Obama got massive cheers) to a remix of “Love on Top.” Her backup singers — "The Mamas" — and her entire band — which included drums, brass, guitar and bass — were all incredibly talented black women. They got plenty of bi screen shots and Bey shout outs throughout the show, which I thought was really cool.

In short, it was amazing — Mike, I hope you approve of my usage in this instance! At the end of the night, Beyoncé asked for "A moment of silence, for Trayvon.” The George Zimmerman trial verdict had been reached at 10 p.m. Saturday — it was likely most concert goers were unaware of what had happened (I had no phone service throughout the whole show, 8-11:30 p.m., which includes her opener, Luke James). After the somber moment, Beyoncé sang  “I Will Always Love You” which led into “Halo.”

People are loving Weeds creator Jenji Kohan’s Orange is the New Black, the latest Netflix series now available in its entirety. Orange is based on the memoir of Piper Kerman, who spent 15 months in a minimum security women’s prison for money laundering and drug trafficking. Check it out!

In especially sad news, actor and singer Cory Monteith, best known as Finn from Glee, was found dead in a Vancouver hotel room Saturday. The coroner reports a mix of alcohol and heroin was the cause of death. The 31-year-old was open about his past struggles with addiction and sought treatment at a rehab facility in April. His girlfriend, 26-year-old Lea Michele, also stars in the hit show.

Why don’t you go to www.vogue.co.uk. With your arrow keys, hit up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A. Keep clicking A. Now feel less sad!

Syfy’s Sharknado touched down Thursday, proving the only thing more terrifying than a shark tornado is the revival of Tara Reid’s acting career.

The original 90210’s (I can’t believe I have to say that) Ian Ziering also starred. The movie got such a response, particularly on social media, SyFy is already planning a sequel for 2014, set in New York.

Anyone else notice Otis from The Walking Dead is now a vampire therapist on True Blood?

by Jac Kern 02.27.2012
Posted In: Events, Fun, Northside, Music at 02:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Your Monday To Do List

If your Monday could use a little less desk jockeying and a few more laughs, you're in luck. PROJECTMILL returns to Mayday Northside tonight with Bombs Away! Comedy Open Mic. Whether you're a stand-up pro-in-the-making or just a fan of comedy, the free event is for everyone. Host Mack Harden will guide guests through the night (8-11:30 p.m.) and local comic Alex Stone will present a special set. If you have a few beers and start feeling witty, you can try your hand, too! Sign-ups for 5-minute sets (it's longer than you think) open at 8 p.m. Have a few laughs, a couple drinks and a signature Mayday dog. Not bad for a Monday! Get details here.

The Contemporary Arts Center is one of those few arts organizations open on Mondays (instead, Tuesday is their day off) Admission is always free after 5 on Mondays, but until Saturday, all admission is pay-what-you-can while the upcoming exhibits are installed. This is an interesting opportunity to watch as new works are brought in, play like a kid in the UnMuseum and shop in the always-fabulous gift shop. Saturday's opening party for the new exhibits will be quite a Spectacle, so look for details in this week's upcoming issue. Find ours and directions to the CAC here.

Week nights are a great opportunity to check out dining hot spots without a 2-hour wait for a seat in a packed restaurant. Joining the ranks of downtown's best new eateries is JimmyG's. Open from 5-9p.m. tonight, JimmyG's offers a sexy ambiance to accompany executive chef Jimmy Gibson's (formerly of FB's) steakhouse staples with a New American flair. Check out our full review here.

Check out Mike Breen's daily blog for tonight's live music lineup. And mark your calendars: Thursday is our annual Swizzle Soiree. Join us at PLAY for a celebration in conjunction with the release of our bar guide (on stands Wednesday). Cheers!

by Jac Kern 04.17.2012

Your Tuesday To Do List

Tuesdays mean Drinking Liberally — the progressive, informal social group sprung from Living Liberally. Join like-minded individuals at Clifton’s Fries Café (first and third Tuesdays; second and fourth Tuesdays at Dutch’s Bar and Bottle Shop) and talk current events, the upcoming election and other hot issues in a relaxed setting. Arrive by 7:45 p.m. to get in on an Adriatico’s order.

The Piccadilly Circus has set up its big top at the Bank of Kentucky Center and tonight is the last chance to check out the spectacle. Expect standard circus favorites like camels and elephants, high bar performers and clowns. Bring the kids early and check out a free petting zoo and elephant, camel and pony rides. Showtimes tonight are 4:30 and 7:30 p.m; bring $10 cash for parking.

SmartTalk ConnectedConversations continues its series of inspirational speakers tonight with pioneer, publisher and producer Vy Higginsen. Higginsen’s story is marked with numerous accomplishments – she was the first black female radio personality to land a prime time gig in New York City, the first woman in advertising sales at Ebony magazine, the first black woman to produce a drama on Broadway and has founded a non-profit for young artists. Titled “Seeing No Limitations,” tonight’s 7:30 p.m. show promises an enlightening evening.

This is the perfect time of year to start a home garden, and tonight Civic Garden Center presents an organic vegetable gardening class. Tending a garden doesn’t have to be a pain – instructor Melinda O’Bryant will demonstrate how to care for your garden using compost, organic fertilizers and pest controls and weed suppression techniques. The program runs from 6:30-8 p.m. and admission is just $10; free for CGC volunteers.

University of Cincinnati’s College-Conservatory of Music hosts two free concerts at 8 p.m. tonight. Visiting composer from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Scott Wyatt performs with and CCM faculty and students in the Cohen Family Studio Theatre. As part of CCM’s Guest Artist Series, the New Continent Saxophone Quartet of the Sichuan Province, China plays Robert J. Werner Recital Hall.

Check out our music blog and To Do page for more happening tonight.

by Jac Kern 03.07.2012
Posted In: Culture, Dating, Drinking, Events, Fashion, Fun, Music at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Your Wednesday To Do List

If you're in the mood to swap your yamaka for a cowboy hat, Jewish Young Professionals Access hosts its regular HeBREW Happy Hour series at Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill tonight. Jewish Young Professionals 21-35 and their significant others are invited to visit the 88-foot, guitar-shaped bar, hop on the mechanical bull, drink a beer out of a mason jar and mingle with others from 6-8 p.m. Guests to the free event should register online in advance, but call Access at 513-373-0300 to get on the guest list last-minute.

The Civic Garden Center hosts many gardening and eco-friendly classes throughout the year. Tonight is the first installment of a three-part Master Composter Series. Participants who take all three classes in addition to completing 15 hours of community service will be certified as Master Composters. The entire series is free. Tonight's 6-8:30 p.m. class is Composting 101, instructed by Master Composter, Master Gardener and Founder of the American Compost Society, John Duke. Learn about how composting works, different systems to use, how to start and analyze your pile and more. Go online or call 513-221-0982 ext. 18 to reserve your spot.

Cincinnati E.A.T.S. (Epicureans About Town Society) is an organization for lovers of food (hence the term "epicurean"). They strive to taste all Cincy has to offer by supporting local restaurants with special events. Tonight, the crew meets at Taste of Belgium Bistro from 7-10 p.m. Tickets for Cincinnati E.A.T.S. outings go fast, so go online to get added to the wait list and learn about upcoming events. Guests pay a discounted flat rate (that includes tax and tip), and eat together in a family-style setting. Beer and wine pairings are suggested but sold separately the night of. Tonight's event benefits the Freestore Foodbank, so bring plenty of canned goods. Do you really need any more excuses to visit Taste of Belgium? WAFFLES.

Over in Clifton Heights, Baba Budan's hosts a night of open-minded, pride-filled fun. From 7-9 p.m., UC Alliance presents Open-Minded Mic, where all are welcome to play a song, perform in drag, recite poetry, do some stand-up – express yourself openly to a welcoming crowd! Afterward, Alternative to the Alternative Night takes over. Tonight's theme is Under Construction, fitting as Baba's is still remodeling after a car crashed through the entrance early Feb. 20. Come in your best construction gear, dressing in red if you're taken, yellow if you're dating or green if you're totally single and ready to go. There will be drink specials all night long. Find details here.

For ongoing theater and art shows, check out our To Do page. Check out our music blog for tonight's live music rundown.

by Jac Kern 10.21.2011

Your Weekend To Do List: 10/21-10/23

Happy Friday, y'all! Here's what's going down this weekend:

Read More

by Jac Kern 02.05.2015
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Sharks, Music, Movies at 12:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Super Bowl Sunday has come and gone, and what an emotional rollercoaster it was! Not only was the game neck and neck until the end, but viewers were taken through a gauntlet of tear-jerking ads between plays.

Lost puppies? Check. Dead children? Of course! It is the Super Bowl, after all. It’s as if advertisers suddenly realized humans have emotions, and that beer + bikini + kick to the crotch is not in fact the perfect formula to lure every football fan. Check out more Super Bowl commercials here.

But there were some funny ads, too. Lindsay Lohan poked fun at her wreck of a life for Nationwide; Mindy Kaling learned what it was like to be invisible; and that Pete Rose Sketchers commercial aired, so that’s not embarrassing or anything.

Meanwhile the IRL Women and Women First, the owners of Portland, Ore.’s  feminist bookstore In Other Words, took over Portlandia’s twitter account to give a feminist commentary on the night’s events. Here are some highlights.

Before we knew it, it was half-time, headlined by Katy Perry.

While she’s no Beyoncé (the disclaimer I give before complimenting anyone), homegirl brought it. Even people who are way too cool to listen to the pop star were all, “I’m not a Katy Perry fan, but that was a great performance,” which is hipster for “I liked it.” And if you were a fan of the amazing graphics throughout the show, you have a local company to thank! Lightborne Communications was behind all the 3-D animations and projections (they also worked on her recent tour). Read more about Lightborne’s involvement here.

The singer came out on a gigantic metallic man-powered lion, danced on a checkerboard come-to-life, served up early-Katy Perry retro beach realness (#leftshark 4 lyfe) and flew across the stadium looking like “The More You Know” star. Lenny Kravitz was already announced as a guest star, and he didn’t disappoint, performing Perry’s breakout single “I Kissed a Girl.” And oh, how I wanted to be that girl. Seriously, the man has not aged in the last 20-30 years. I wonder if he and Gwen Stefani both sold their souls to the devil around the same time in the ‘90s.

But Kravitz wasn’t Perry’s only guest! Rumored performer Missy Elliott surprised the audience with a medley of some of her top hits. It’s been a decade since she released any new music, so hopefully there’s more to come from Missy because the bitch can still put her thang down, flip it and reverse it.

There must be something in the air with pre-Millennium R&B musicians returning to the spotlight, because D’Angelo performed on Saturday Night Live last weekend at took us all to church while he did it. I never thought I’d like D’Angelo with so much clothing on, but he killed it (and owns the sophisticated baglady look).

SNL celebrates 40 years later this month (on a Sunday, which is weird). Tons of former cast members and hosts will appear: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Jimmy Fallon, Jon Hamm, Jack Nicholson, Amy Poehler, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Justin Timberlake, Christopher Walken and so, so many more, including Eddie Murphy, who’ll be returning for the first time in more than 30 years.

Now stop everything, because the Game of Thrones trailer is here.

“Who said anything about him?” BOOM.

Jimmy Fallon took The Tonight Show on the road for the week, and some of the show’s most hilarious clips have resulted. First, after the Super Bowl, Fallon and friends did a live show from Phoenix. Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart — who watched the big game together and co-star in the upcoming Get Hard — threw down in a lip sync battle (“for their LIVES” – RuPaul) with Fallon. Watch the guys do either best Beyoncé, Katy Perry, Kelly Clarkson and more here.

On Monday, the crew traveled to L.A. So, naturally, Fallon opened the show with a recreation of the intro from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

But the throwback fun doesn’t stop there. No stranger to Mark-Paul Gosselaar (who famously did an interview with Fallon as Zack Morris on Late Night), Fallon reunited the Saved By the Bell crew — Zack (Gosselaar), Kelly (Tiffani Thiessen), Slater (Mario Lopez) and Jessie (Elizabeth Berkley) — for a trip back to Bayside.

This is all great but where is Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies)?! I mean I know Dustin “Screech” Diamond was probably busy with his recent arrest and all, but what’s her excuse?

Finally, the movie event horny bitches across the planet have been waiting for is finally here. Folks have been talking about it — anticipating it — since 2012. Some scenes can’t even be shown on TV.

No, I’m not talking about that Fifty Shades bullshit, I’m talkin’ Magic Mike XXL. Try to keep your composure.