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by Jac Kern 10.01.2012
Posted In: Music, TV/Celebrity, Events at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Your Favorite TV Stars Come to Cincinnati

David Liebe Hart and Hunter Valentine perform in town this week

OK, maybe David Liebe Hart and Hunter Valentine are not the A-list celebs you had in mind, but for fans of Adult Swim’s cult hit Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! and Showtime’s unscripted guilty pleasure The Real L Word (respectively), this is an exciting week to be in Cincinnati.

Tonight, The Comet hosts a free show with David Liebe Hart, Hardon Collider and Jordin Goff. Considering Hart's best known from Adult Swim, it should be expected that this show will bring the weird. Hart gained attention with his Los Angeles public television show, The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Program — a quirky mix of music, puppetry, cautions against drug use and much more. Today, he’s recognized from Tim and Eric, on which he’s performed songs with said creepy puppets.

Check him out at The Comet tonight for punk rock and puppets at 9 p.m. Fun fact: DLH believes that as a child, he was abducted by aliens known as Korendians. Here’s his tribute to the alien race:

And now for something completely different!

Hunter Valentine is a Toronto-born, NYC-based alt-rock lady band currently touring North America. The group played 2011’s MidPoint Music Festival and is returning to Mainstay Rock Bar Friday night in support of Collide and Conquer, debuting Oct. 23.

The band formed in 2004 and I’ll admit, they weren’t on my radar until this summer when The Real L Word’s third season premiered. The reality show centered on a group of hip L.A. lesbians introduced new cast members from New York City this season. The new ladies? Hunter Valentine.

Cameras followed lead singer Kiyomi, drummer Laura, bassist Vero and then-guitar and keyboard player Somer as they jammed, drank, partied and fought their way through last year’s tour. The season ended with Somer (not-so-surprisingly) parting ways with the band, making room for HV newbie, Aimee.

Will Real L’s Lauren, who made things official with Kiyomi the the end of the season, be present as Hunter Valentine groupie supreme? Swing by Mainstay Downtown at 10:30 p.m. Friday to find out.

Peep this promotional video HV shot for The Real L Word:

by Jac Kern 03.06.2012
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Northside, Music, Life, Fun, Events, Culture, Concerts at 12:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Your Tuesday To Do List

Happy Super Tuesday! The No. 1 item on today's To Do list is to get your tush to a voting station and participate in Ohio's primary. Those living in Hamilton County can go here to find your polling locations.

Occupy Cincinnati is hosting a primary watch party at C & D Northside from 8-11 p.m. Check out the night's results while enjoying a stiff drink — the group's Facebook invite suggests ordering a "Santorum" (though something tells me I might have to pass). Occupy has some tips for voting against corporate parties; check those out here.

And speaking of the man who turned "Santorum" into a dirty word, a bit further south down I-75 Dan Savage is speaking at the University of Kentucky. Savage is touring as a part of the It Gets Better lecture series, the movement created by Savage to give hope to LGBTQ kids who face bullying, and fight hatred and intolerance against them. Savage will give a presentation and sign books beginning at 7 p.m. in Memorial Hall on the UK campus. If you can make the trip, it's a great opportunity to meet Savage and become involved in It Gets Better — tickets are free to all attendees (just have a local direct you to the Student Center Ticket Office to pick up passes).

MOTR Pub hosts its weekly Writer's Night for original artists of many mediums: poetry, music, comedy, spoken word, etc. Sign up early, starting at 8:30 p.m. and hang out to enjoy performances 'til 12:30 a.m. Participants are all entered for a prize drawing for up to $40. Tonight's showcase is hosted by Fists of Love's Donna J. Drink specials for the night include $3 24-ounce Hudy Amber. Check out the event on Facebook for more info.

Investigative reporter, film producer and Cleveland-native James Renner debuts his first novel tonight at Joseph-Beth Booksellers in Rookwood Commons. The Man From Primrose Lane is a "mind-bending and genre-twisting" story about the murder of an elderly man in Akron. Renner will read from and sign the novel at 7 p.m. The event is free (the book is $26).

Go here to find other arts and theater events happening tonight. Find tonight's live music schedule here.

by Jac Kern 07.03.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor, Is this for real? at 09:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Last week was totally gay. In a very good way. Cities across the country celebrated Pride and honored the 44th anniversary of the Stonewall riots in Greenwich Village as the Supreme Court struck down Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 8. This week’s cover of The New Yorker pays tribute to all that’s happened last week (and all the hard work that led up to it) while playfully answering the question we’ve often wondered about two ambiguous Muppets cohabitating on Sesame Street: Yes, they are.


Lifetime upheld its reputation for producing high-quality tributes to lost souls this weekend with the premiere of the highly anticipated Anna Nicole starring Agnes Bruckner. Like any budding pop culture aficionado, I was an avid fan of E!’s The Anna Nicole Show in the early 2000s. I read all about ANS and followed her cray cray antics up until her serious and untimely death in 2007. So, as an unofficial Anna Nicole Smith historian, I feel pretty qualified in saying nearly every single aspect of her full 39 years (save for that weird MTV awards appearance) was packed into this two-hour special. Director Mary MFing Harron, who also directed American Psycho, I Shot Andy Warhol and The Notorious Bettie Page, said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that Anna Nicole is a “new kind of” Lifetime movie but fear not — the flick was full of all the one-liners and dramatic drug scenes you’d crave from a Lifetime biopic — plus one extremely lifelike prosthetic breastplate.

Highlight reel:

According to Lifetime’s story, ever since Vicky Lynn was a little trailer park girl, after her first encounter with Marilyn Monroe's Playboy cover, she would randomly hallucinate visions of her future self, complete with her trademark tig ol’ bitties. Is Lifetime suggesting ANS was schizophrenic?

Vicky Lynn’s mom, with whom I was not familiar, was a hot ass cop mom who locked her daughter in her room when she noticed her stuffing her bra and dousing her face in makeup in her early teens. She did not want little Vicky to turn out knocked up early in life like her. Lifetime: Why paint the one voice of reason as the movie’s villain?!

Peaches, grapefruits or melons? These three fruits were lined up on the desk of a plastic surgeon in what I imagine is a very realistic re-imagining of a breast enhancement consultation. "More like what usually goes in here," Anna says, as she lifts up a bowling bag, turns it over, and dumps crumpled one dollar bills on doctors desk.

Anna and Daniel get their first house and proceed to jumps into the pool, fully clothed, despite it obviously being fall.

“You make me feel like I'm 75 again.” – J. Howard Marshall (played to perfection by Martin Landau)

Perfect Anna Nicole-isms: “I got big dreams, J. Howard Marshall." And, after being confronted by a J. Howard’s totally mean son: “I feel like poop.” This sentiment was soon followed by Anna racing down a street while doing lines of blow, drinking booze straight from the bottle, standing in on her seat and flashing her boobs to a passing semi — not just in a moving convertible, but all while driving! She was a true Renaissance woman.

Howard K. Stern, ANS’s attorney/agent/boyfriend who pretty much sealed her fate, was in full creep mode thanks to his portrayal by Adam Goldberg.

According to this movie, Anna took all her drugs Alka-Seltzer style: dropped in  pretty-colored cocktail. This was seriously repeated at least six times. Does anyone do that in real life?

Halfway through the movie they just stop tracking the year, so you just have to guess based on whether or not Anna is lucid and/or fat.

THANK GOD they got the rights to the Anna Nicole theme song:

Viva la fat Anna! Bruckner turned on the crazy accent, perpetually had a handful/mouthful of snack foods at all time. Now that she's attained her Marilyn image she sees visions of her little Vicky self. Definitely psychotic.

Finally, of course, the iconic clown makeup scene.

                                         Jesus, why didn’t you take the wheel?!

Basically it was one of the finest films of the year. Watch that shit immediately.

Also, Internet Warning: For some reason, the official Google images that appear when you search for Anna Nicole Smith and her son Daniel are (real or doctored, don’t care) explicit photos in which they appear to be dead. Hey Google, can you fix that please?

Speaking of death (sorry), as you’ve probably heard by now, it’s looking like New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez probably murdered his friend Odin Lloyd. This being perfectly appropriate material for late night comedy banter, Jay Leno recently remarked in a monologue that Hernandez has been made an honorary Cincinnati Bengal. Aw, thanks, Jay, but no thanks.

Need a heavy dose of cuteness to counteract that mess? Well, we met the one and only Lil Bub last week and talked about fishes, outer space, the importance of pet adoption and how it’s cool to be different (OK, OK, we talked to her dude. She mostly made indistinguishable noises) before snapping some super cute pics of the perma-kitten. You'll be able to read all about her in an upcoming issue but for now, take a sneak peek:

                                        Bub loves CityBeat!