Have you seen this yet? Thousands of conceited women with eating disorders almost killed each other at an America's Next Top Model audition in New York.
That's right folks, the Cinciditarod. It's a sporting event that cleverly combines the words "Cincinnati" and "Iditarod," as well as the meanings of both. The Cinciditarod is sort of like the grueling 1,100-mile Alaskan dog-sled race, except that it's held in Cincinnati, without dogs, with shopping carts instead of sleds and the course is only five miles. No big.
Ever had a bad one-night stand? Sure, we all have. But I mean like really, really bad? Like the kind of bad where the guy called out his own name or tried to pee on you or wanted you to dress up like Hannah Montana?
Out the dude and warn other women here.
So this hasn't officially happened to me yet, but my mom's best friend from high school joined when he became single again and he tells her what my status updates are. BTW my mom doesn't really know what "status update" means. She doesn't even understand what Facebook is.
Last night after the snow started coming in really thick, I took my dog outside without his leash so we could walk around. I live on a big hill that basically shuts down anytime there's inclement weather. Salt trucks don't even bother with it. So at around 2 a.m. the street was covered with this layer of untouched snow and I filled a red keg cup with some wine and walked my dog up and down the street. It was really dreamy until some college kids, who do amazing and hilarious things in snow, came out with what appeared to be their corn hole set and tried to sled down my street using the wooden part as sleds.
While other bars in Clifton and Northside were cleaning up after post-inauguration celebrations, employees and patrons of Fries Cafe, one of Clifton's historic neighborhood bars, were fleeing a fire.
So our bars may not be open until 5 a.m. (Washington D.C. is officially the party capital of the United States tonight), but there are still some sweet parties/drinking events going on around our fine city.
Also, just in case you've never wasted days and days of your life/work looking at the archives of this blog, check out Go Fug Yourself for genius and snarky commentary on all things Golden Globe and celebrity-related.
WTF, now and forever:
Last night's Golden Globe coverage has left me asking a few questions: WTF is up with Kate Winslet? (See YouTube insert.) Is "windblown" the new hairstyle (see Renee Zellweger and Drew Barrymore)? And why was every female celebrity dressed in nude (see this, this or this)?