WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
Home - Blogs - Staff Blogs - Popular Blogs
Latest Blogs
 
by Jac Kern 10.01.2012
Posted In: Music, TV/Celebrity, Events at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
hv_media_new

Your Favorite TV Stars Come to Cincinnati

David Liebe Hart and Hunter Valentine perform in town this week

OK, maybe David Liebe Hart and Hunter Valentine are not the A-list celebs you had in mind, but for fans of Adult Swim’s cult hit Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! and Showtime’s unscripted guilty pleasure The Real L Word (respectively), this is an exciting week to be in Cincinnati.

Tonight, The Comet hosts a free show with David Liebe Hart, Hardon Collider and Jordin Goff. Considering Hart's best known from Adult Swim, it should be expected that this show will bring the weird. Hart gained attention with his Los Angeles public television show, The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Program — a quirky mix of music, puppetry, cautions against drug use and much more. Today, he’s recognized from Tim and Eric, on which he’s performed songs with said creepy puppets.

Check him out at The Comet tonight for punk rock and puppets at 9 p.m. Fun fact: DLH believes that as a child, he was abducted by aliens known as Korendians. Here’s his tribute to the alien race:

And now for something completely different!

Hunter Valentine is a Toronto-born, NYC-based alt-rock lady band currently touring North America. The group played 2011’s MidPoint Music Festival and is returning to Mainstay Rock Bar Friday night in support of Collide and Conquer, debuting Oct. 23.

The band formed in 2004 and I’ll admit, they weren’t on my radar until this summer when The Real L Word’s third season premiered. The reality show centered on a group of hip L.A. lesbians introduced new cast members from New York City this season. The new ladies? Hunter Valentine.

Cameras followed lead singer Kiyomi, drummer Laura, bassist Vero and then-guitar and keyboard player Somer as they jammed, drank, partied and fought their way through last year’s tour. The season ended with Somer (not-so-surprisingly) parting ways with the band, making room for HV newbie, Aimee.

Will Real L’s Lauren, who made things official with Kiyomi the the end of the season, be present as Hunter Valentine groupie supreme? Swing by Mainstay Downtown at 10:30 p.m. Friday to find out.

Peep this promotional video HV shot for The Real L Word:

 
 
by Jac Kern 05.30.2012
Posted In: Performances, Music, Events at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
 
 
to do_pitbullwalk_photoprovided

Your Wednesday To Do List

In celebration of City Council’s repeal of the breed-specific language in Cincinnati’s vicious dog ordinance, Cincinnati Pit Crew invites pups of all sorts to strut the streets tonight. Pitties on Parade is a chance for pit bulls and other breeds to show off their sweet side and display why the May 16 repeal was a good decision. The group walk begins on the West Grove of Fountain Square (pets are not allowed on the actual square) at 5:30 p.m. and will continue on various routes, where participants will break into groups to saunter across the city. Everyone will re-group at Smale Riverfront Park at 7 p.m. Make sure your dog is healthy, at least 6 months old, up-to-date on vaccinations and good-natured (the same should probably go for owners). Meet up at Neon’s Unplugged, the pooch-friendly bar in OTR, for an after-party 'til 9 p.m.

Cincinnati E.A.T.S. (Epicureans About Town Society) hosts a Subterranean Picnic Party at Jimmy G’s tonight. Cincinnati E.A.T.S. aims to bring locals to the best independent area restaurants by presenting themed evenings of fixed-price meals. Tonight, Chef Jimmy Gibson has created a three-course menu with shareable sides. Pre-dinner drinks and wine pairings will be available (not included in $44.50 ticket price). There is also a benefit aspect to each event — tonight guests are encouraged to bring several non-perishable food items to be donated to the Freestore Foodbank. Cocktail hour begins at 7 p.m. and dinner will be served at 8 p.m. Grab a last-minute ticket here.

Tonight is the first official evening of Fringe Festival performances. Offerings include Breaking Rank, The Sweet, Burning Yonder, METHTACULAR!, Grim and Fischer, Rodney Rumple’s Random Realty, Blown Up, You Will Have 25 Minutes to Complete This Essay, Female Desires and Quake: A Closet Love Story. Whew! Check out the official Fringe guide, with performance descriptions, ticket information and full schedule here.

Party in the Park continues tonight at Yeatman’s Cove with Stays in Vegas. Happy hour runs 5-6:30 p.m., offering $2 off beer, wine and cocktails. The free concert runs until 10 p.m.

Did you know today is Water a Flower Day? Make sure you're watering your thirsty plants during what's looking like a very hot summer!

 
 
by Jac Kern 05.03.2012
Posted In: Performances, Music, Fun, Benefits, Arts, Culture, Events at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
to do_life could be a dream

Your Thursday To Do List

Alice Skirtz will discuss and sign her new book Econocide: Elimination of the Urban Poor today at Findlay Market’s Skirtz & Johnson. The book looks at how Cincinnati “has used legislation and the administration of public policy to serve the ends of privatizing public assets and displacing people who are perceived as undesirable because they lack economic power and privilege.” Skirtz is also a social worker and founder of the Greater Cincinnati Coalition for the Homeless — proceeds from tonight’s book sales will go to the organization. The signing runs 4:30-6:30 p.m.

Women Helping Women is a 24-hour crisis service helping victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking. The non-shelter program offers intervention and support services for women — and men — in Southwestern Ohio. Tonight, Sharonville transforms into Oz for Light Up the Night: Emerald City Ball, a benefit for Women Helping Women. Don your best ruby slippers as you enjoy dinner-by-the-bite, Wizard of Oz-themed cocktails, auctions and music — all for a wonderful cause. Tickets should have been reserved in advance. Go here to get involved with the organization by adopting a family, donating or volunteering.

Ensemble Theater Cincinnati takes audiences on a “trip down musical memory lane” with its production of Life Could be a Dream, onstage tonight. Fans of ETC’s Wonderettes productions will feel at home with this sock hop-era musical that follows the Crooning Crabcakes as they try to make the big time and win a local radio contest. Sing along to classic hits like “Runaround Sue,” “Earth Angel,” “Unchained Melody” and more tunes from the time. Tickets to tonight’s 7:30 show are $36.

Check out our music blog for tonight's live show lineup and our To Do page for more events, art shows and performances.

 
 
by Jac Kern 12.18.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, technology, Movies, Music, Humor at 12:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-2

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

The 2014 Golden Globes, hosted by the dream team of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, take place Jan. 12 and nominations have been announced. Here we go!

In the motion picture sector, 12 Years a Slave and American Hustle lead the pack with seven nominations each. The America’s Sweethearts Showdown will finally play out as Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle) is pitted against Julie Roberts (August: Osage County) for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture (along with Sally Hawkins – Blue Jasmine, Lupita Nyong'o – 12 Years a Slave and June Squibb ­– Nebraska). Yes, I'm really trying to make the J. Law/JuRo(?) rivalry happen.

Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey were rewarded for the physical deterioration they underwent to star in Dallas Buyers Club — they’re up for Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture and Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama, respectively.

On to television selections, Netflix series House of Cards raked in four nominations, the most of any series. The HBO film Behind the Candelabra also garnered four nods, but in three categories — stars Matt Damon and Michael Douglas are up against one another for Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie. Rob Lowe’s amazing work as Liberace’s plastic surgeon/pill pusher in Candelabra gets lauded with a nomination for the broad Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie category, but that statue will likely go to Aaron Paul for his performance in the final season of Breaking Bad.

New-to-2013 shows Masters of Sex, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Ray Donovan each received two nominations. I was totally in love with the inaugural season of Masters this year, so I’m happy to see it up against some solid series for Best TV Series, Drama, even if it probably won’t win. I can’t bring myself to watch Brooklyn (despite my love for Andy Samberg!) because it looks decidedly unfunny, but I keep hearing I need to check it out, so judgment reserved. Ray was a decent new drama. Jon Voight killed it as the fresh-out-of-prison father to the titular character, a Hollywood “fixer” played by Liev Schreiber (also nominated). Voight’s Mickey brought the laughs in an otherwise dark story, from his penchant for big-booty video girls to the advice he gives to his nauseated grandson: “Maybe you need to faht!”

Noticeably absent are Homeland, Boardwalk Empire and Mad Men, and I am OUTRAGED! OK, I’m starting to sound like everyone who’s ever listened to a local band after the CEA nominations are announced. #sitthehelldown

But seriously, Damien Lewis’ performance as Homeland’s Brody, while limited on screen this season, was incredible. He truly has played so many sides and shades of the character. That detox scene? Haunting. He nailed the deterioration of Brody completely.

I also thought this was one of the best seasons of Boardwalk. Completely biased opinion: John Huston’s Richard Harrow has been my favorite character of the series (besides Lucy, played by the incomparable queen of mot messes Paz de la Huerta, OBVS). With so many other amazing characters, it’s totally understandable that he wouldn’t leave with an award, but…Richard! "Hold me."

As for Mad Men, neither the show nor its actors have won a Globe since 2009, when it was awarded for Best TV Series, Drama. The show is not suffering — in fact, watching Don (Jon Hamm) finally crack and start to act like a real human was incredible this season. Oh, well. There’s always next year’s Emmys, I guess?

Read all the nominations here.

It’s almost Christmas, so what better time for another Apple ad to make you unexpectedly shrivel up and bawl?


Beyoncé blew the top off the Internet late last week, surprise-releasing 14 new songs plus 17 music videos in a full, mega, meta “visual experience” of an album, leaving most of us with nothing left on our holiday wish lists. Titled simply Beyoncé, the package features collaborations with Jay Z, Frank Ocean, Drake and Blue MFing Ivy, sexy-ass songs with some straight up raunch, audio/video from Star Search and home movies and several shots of Bey’s thonged butt. It’s perfection. And because no one can ever get enough Yoncé (That’s right, it’s Yoncé, Mrs. Carter if you’re nasty), she’s also releasing a mini-documentary about the album in various parts, day by day. Buy the package, watch the videos and get swept up in the Carter life here.

John Mayer and Katy Perry are totes an item and, in case you needed any reminders of what a supreme douche J. May is, well, here’s their first couples interview (gag) — skip to 2:50 for John’s really touching words about Katy’s craft/to hear him drop an F bomb (edited out, thanks ABC!) while doing so.

R. Kelly(’s PR) thought it would be a good idea to get #askrkelly trending, to spark a sort of AMA with Twitter fans, and it was a total marketing fail. In fact, the timing of the backfired publicity stunt led perfectly to this Village Voice interview with the Chicago Sun-Times music critic that broke the story detailing R. Kelly’s involvement with underage girls almost 15 years ago. This journalist, Jim DeRogatis, reminds us just how disgusting of a rap sheet R. has. I guess somewhere between Trapped in the Closet parts V and XXVI, we forgot the dude was a legit pedo.

Buzzfeed dubbed Newport Aquarium’s Scuba Santa one of eight “Most Badass Santas in the World,” not to be confused with “One of Most Extreme Santas in World,” as reported by basically every other local media outlet (buncha babies).

If there’s just one viral family Christmas video-card (ugh) making its rounds that particularly makes me want to gouge my eyes out, it’s the Holderness family’s. Set to the tune of the very current “Welcome to Miami,” this family of four teaches us what the holidays are truly about: bragging about the year’s accomplishments. Namely, running triathlons, appearing in blockbuster films and learning Chinese — in their "Christmas jammies." Fucking white people.

Shia LaBeouf was a child actor, so I guess he never went to school to learn that copying off your neighbor's work is pretty much universally looked down upon. That's the only explanation I can come up with to justify his plagiarizing of Daniel Clowes' comic Justin M. Damiano for his new short film, HowardCantour.com. Read all about the fiasco here, and see the similarities for yourself. LaBeouf said sorry via Twitter, which should be enough, but he apparently lifted his apology off Yahoo Answers. So help us all.

 
 
by Jac Kern 03.06.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Movies, Music, Humor at 01:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-1

I Just Can't Get Enough

In what can best be described as #whitepeopleproblems, Will Smith inadvertently caused a county-wide school lockdown last week in Ambridge, Pa. An area high school was organizing a Fresh Prince of Bel Air themed dance (whatever that means) so, naturally, some students were getting really into it — 19-year-old Travis Clawson even changed his voicemail recording to his own cover of the iconic theme song. Unfortunately, an local office receptionist was not in on the joke.

The woman did not understand the voicemail recording when she called Clawson to confirm an appointment (it has not been confirmed whether or not this woman was in a coma from 1990-1996, but that is really the only justifiable excuse for not knowing that tune). At some point during the recording, perhaps when she heard “shootin’ some b-ball outside of the school,” the woman was worried there had been a school shooting (“shootin’ some peo-ple outside of the school?”) and called the police, who issued a lockdown at that high school and all other schools in the county. Of course, it was soon discovered that their was no incident and everyone was cleared. But it just goes to show you...

                                                 Parents Receptionists Just Don't Understand

As Eminem so eloquently said, Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records, but what’s considered a cuss word these days? Ask Lil Poopy. This 9-year-old Boston native raps about lots of stuff kids like, such as money, fine foods and coke. Yeah, Lil Poopy calls himself a coke boy (he also calls himself Lil Poopy), but, according to the “Pop That Remix” lyrics, “Coke ain’t a bad word, Coca Cola/Coke ain’t a bad word, it’s only soda.”

Vice featured the tiny rapper in January, but Poopy’s making news again now as his father is being investigated by family services. (Thanks, Amberly!)

Did you know Chipotle has a secret menu? The next time you’re in the Mexican fast food mecca, try ordering a Quesarito. You know, if you could use a spare 1500 calories.

                                                    Bask in its cheesy, caloric glory!

Cruises can’t seem to catch a break these days, and I’m not talking about Tom’s quest for a new robot bride. Ever since that Carnival Cruise became a gigantic floating overflowing toilet last month, people are not really into vacationing by boat. Partly because of this, CityBeat now has to find a new annual team-building event because the Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise has been cancelled.

SPOILER ALERT, maybe: American Horror Story rumor time! Fans of the show have been theorizing the next season’s theme since co-creator Ryan Murphy announced there were clues about the next season throughout Asylum. Many of the actors from both previous seasons will be returning, including Jessica Lange, Evan Peters, Lily Rabe, Taissa Farmiga, Sarah Paulson and Frances Conroy. The third season’s theme, which changes with installment, still remains a mystery.

Here’s what we know: Set to premiere in October, this season will jump around time periods, but will primarily stay in the present. It will take place in a setting where “true horror has happened” (three locations, apparently). “Evil glamour” will be a theme and Murphy has said it will be a more humorous season and he hopes to include a Romeo and Juliet-like romance, similar to the relationship between Tate (Peters) and Violet (Farmiga) in Season One. After scrutinizing the last season for clues, hearing songs like “Love Potion No. 9” and “I Put a Spell on You,” my watch-group and I were hoping for a voodoo storyline taking place in the swampy south, like New Orleans. But the Internet by and large agreed the next season would be devoted to witches (not necessarily throwing out our wish — voodoo is practiced by witch doctors). And when it was announced that Kathy Bates would be joining the season (breathe, breathe, breathe), the witch theory seemed perfect. Can you imagine Bates and Lange as two badass mystic bitches?! AHS alum Dylan McDermott thinks so! According to the actor, who played Ben in the inaugural season and Johnny “Son of Bloody Face” in No. 2, the next chapter will follow the Salem Witch Trials. SQUEE!

Because everyone loves lists, Complex counts down the funniest comedies of all time, from The Three Stooges to 30 Rock.

Hey, ever wondered how many people were killed off in Quentin Tarantino movies, and how they bit the dust? Miramax got you.