Jon Stewart is stepping
down as host of The Daily Show sometime
later this year, and now we know who will be taking his spot: 31-year-old South
African comedian Trevor Noah. He joined The
Daily Show as a correspondent last December. As to be expected, people
scoured his Twitter feed to
find something to be offended about see a
sampling of his work, but despite some “controversial tweets,”
overall Noah seems to be a great fit for the show. Watch some of his stuff
The Walking Dead fans got their first peek at the series’ spinoff show, recently titled Fear the Walking Dead (yawn), during last week’s super-packed, super-long, intense season finale. While details like these are just now being confirmed, it was revealed that the show will premiere this summer, meaning basically 365 Walking Dead. If the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it trailer is any indication, the series will explore the early days of the zombie outbreak, which is very exciting for fans of the original or just the genre (It’s almost an unwritten rule that zombie media focus on the fallout instead of the cause.) Gone Girl’s Kim Dickens (who also had recent stints on Sons of Anarchy and House of Cards) will star.
Who doesn’t love a good pop culture map? Thrillist compiled all the real locations from Broad City’s second season into one convenient map so you can make like Abbi and Ilana the next time you’re in NYC.
LEGO may soon be making a Golden Girls-inspired toy set complete with Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, Sophia and their iconic kitchen.
On the heels of HBO’s Scientology documentary Going Clear, SNL offered hilarious commentary in the form of a fake 1990s music video for fake religion Neutrology.
This actual Scientology video appears to be the inspiration.
Which is real, which is a parody?
Game of Thrones is coming! Season Five premieres Sunday and by the final episode this
year, the show will be completely “off books,” meaning this is the time to get
your revenge on any Song of Ice and Fire-reading
friends who’ve spoiled anything for you. No one is safe! Check out this week’s television column
for a look at the season plus TV picks for the week (Veep, Silicon Valley and Louie are back, too!). Further reading
to get in the Thrones mood: Jon Snow
as a terrible dinner party guest;
The Gang of Thrones?: Mac and Charlie may be coming to Westeros;
Gay of Thrones — the Funny or Die GOT recap
show I can’t believe I missed out on until today (Thanks, Kenneth!).
If people left parties the same way they quit Facebook:
Looking for a Netflix
offering to binge on/obsess over? Watch Black
Mirror stat. The British mini-series (as in only three episodes per season
— so binge wisely) is like a modern approach to The Twilight Zone, with each episode taking on a different cast and
story loosely based around technology and a not-so-distance dystopian future. Serious mind-blowing stuff.
Speaking of Netflix, 17 new episodes of cult favorite Arrested Development are supposedly on their way to the streaming platform. Start saving those vacation days now!
Also, the Orange Is the New Black Season Three trailer is here:
File this under: Tricks to Make Me Pay Attention to Politics: Rand Paul’s Drag Race.
A terrified-looking local 2-year-old has become something of an Internet sensation over the past week. In a funny photo with a cute story-turned-viral image, Quincy Kroner posed with two friendly looking garbage men in front of their truck (as he held his own mini garbage truck toy).
Pictured: Internet gold.
Dad and Northside resident Ollie Kroner, who’s no stranger to CityBeat, posted the photo on Facebook, saying, “Quincy's been waiting all week to show the garbage men his garbage truck. But, in the moment, he was overwhelmed in the presence of his heroes.” The photo was shared by friends and family, then their friends and so on until the image appeared prominently on Tumblr, Imgur, Awkward Family Photos, Huffington Post and ABC News.
Despite the sudden fame, Quincy continues to live a low-profile, tiny human life. Read more here. (Worth noting is the writer’s choice to drive home the point that “it started with a sticker chart” and to include the comment "Garbage men get swole as hell and are generally the greatest people around.")
Stock footage provider Dissolve created a “faux” TV trailer using only stock video, and it appears only slightly more generic that a CBS fall lineup.
Just in time for Mad Men’s final season premiere, AMC paid tribute to the show with a bench resembling the Don Draper silhouette logo that has become so iconic. The bench — which I really need them to mass-produce — was unveiled in front of the Time-Life building, which Sterling Cooper & Partners has called home in Mad Men universe since Season Four. Jon Hamm was profiled in GQ’s April issue, and the show’s leading man shared some advice given to him from a guy who knows what it’s like to portray an iconic TV character and then, suddenly, not — Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston.
"It's hard, man," Cranston told him. "It's hard to let it go. It'll hit you a couple of different ways at different times."
But before you get depressed thinking about all of Mad Men joining Walter White and the other characters in the big TV set in the sky, there’s still a whole (OK, half) season of Mad Men to obsess and drink over, starting April 5.
Serena Williams made her own 7/11 video a la Beyoncé.
Almost as good as the original and how cute is it when she stops dancing to let that old man walk by? Definitely needed more azz, though.
Goodbye Zuckerberg, hello Luthor! Jesse Eisenberg lost his curly locks to embody his upcoming role as Lex Luthor in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Check out his TRANSFORMATION (he just shaved his head) here.
The cast of Pretty Woman the movie’s 25th anniversary with a reunion on the Today Show. While it has been quite a few years since the last good hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold movie, don’t count on a sequel. They say there will never be a Pretty Woman 2. At least some things are sacred.
With that being said, of course there’s new remake news this week.
Fox announced that David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson will return as Mulder and Scully in the network’s limited-series reboot of The X-Files.
The John Candy classic Uncle Buck is also getting a TV remake. Mike
Epps and Nia Long are set to star in the ABC comedy. (This isn’t the first time
Uncle Buck is getting the TV
treatment — there was a short-lived series of the same name in 1990). Until
then, go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face.
Some movies are getting turned into TV shows while some television series are getting reworked for the big screen. Finally, the Entourage movie trailer is here.
Who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory? Reddit user Euchrid_Eucrow posted an in-depth analysis on the Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” (yes, you’re reading all of this correctly) in the Fan Theories subreddit. S/He argues that that song — an upbeat Pop-Rock earworm full of random bits of early-Millennium pop culture — is about a man who killed his girlfriend and is slowly going mad as he stays in a room with the corpse. Internet!
Here’s Sarah Jessica Parker throwing fifty shades of shade at Tom Hanks at a hockey game.
Forget Resting Bitchface —
Carrie Bradshaw’s got a very active bitchface.
Seeing locals on reality TV combines two of my favorite things: Cincinnati and trashy television. So I was elated to hear that A&E’s Neighbors with Benefits – a new unscripted series following swingers — is set just north in Warren County. The show will document married couples in a suburban neighborhood that have open, extra-marital relationships. The show hasn’t even aired yet (it premieres Sunday, March 22), but it already has reality red flags, as with many A&E shows filmed in Cincinnati (remember Rowhouse Showdown?). While at least one couple on the show is confirmed local, some residents of the Thorton Grove neighborhood near Maineville question the legitimacy of the other couples and shooting location. There’s speculation that a rental home outside Thorton Grove was used to shoot the series after residents complained about associating the neighborhood with a swinger capital. But honestly, if the worst thing about your neighborhood is that people are having sex with each other, isn’t that something to brag about?
Marilyn Manson is all about
his pops these days. He took an unexpected but awesome role on Sons of Anarchy’s final season, saying
he took the role because he watched the show with his father, and now the two are in Paper Magazine.
New show news:
True Detective Season Two is still without a premiere date, but stars Vince Vaughn, Colin Farrell, Taylor Kitsch and Rachel McAdams have been at work shooting the next installment. Go here to read more about the season’s storyline — public transportation + murder + conspiracy — the characters and directors — various directors will take over for Season One’s Emmy winner Cary Fukanaga — and see photos from set. (Spoiler Alert only if you want to go in to the show with zero background info on the story.)
The ladies of Litchfield will be back for the binging when Orange Is the New Black Season Three premieres June 12.
American Horror Story’s fifth season will apparently take a look at the horrid world of hospitality because Lady Gaga revealed the next setting will be a hotel. Gaga will reportedly star. AHS: Hotel premieres in October and here’s some totally unconfirmed juice goose (translation: juicy gossip) posted on the AHS Reddit thread. I don’t know about Gaga taking the lead on this — let alone starring in three seasons amidst her very successful music career — but the general storyline sounds good to me! And the present-day setting with flashbacks to different eras is in line with the show’s pattern (so far, odd seasons have been set in modern day — Murder House, Coven — while even seasons were period pieces — Asylum, Freak Show). I love the idea of peeking in on various scandalous guests over the years — so many opportunities for killer guest-stars!
Hannibal returns June 4 and the first image is out. I’m getting Dr. Lecter-meets-SAMCRO vibes and I'm loving it.
Speaking of new shows, check out this week’s TV column for a spring television preview. Winter might finally be gone, Game of Thrones is coming!
Zoolander 2 is officially happening, as evidenced by Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson
stomping the Valentino runway as Derek and Hansel during Paris Fashion Week.
Nothing says haute couture quite like Ben Stiller’s old ass on a runway. And if you really want to roll your eyes to the back of your skull and never to see the light of day again, get this: I looked on IMDB for evidence that this sequel is really happening (yes, I fact-check the gossip rags I read; yes, IMDB is a reputable fact-checking source) and found that Stiller is also attached to Dodgeball 2 (predictable) and Space Jam 2 (da fuh?).
Ryan Gosling must be craving some attention since that baby of his stole the spotlight, because he shared some cute throwback dance videos that have everyone saying, “Hey girl,” again.
Ryan, if you think we haven’t already seen all your talent show videos and Mickey Mouse Club clips, you are seriously underestimating the stalkiness of your fans. Speaking of, why is there no term for Gosling fans, a la Cumberbitches? Can I bring up “juice goose” twice in one post?
But I digress. Here’s the little man at work:
Vince Gilligan would like everyone to stop throwing pizzas on Walter White’s house, please. The Breaking Bad creator says fans flock to the real house used for exterior shots in the show, and the current owners are cool with that, except when people creep up at night and recreate the famous pizza scene.
The Dress that captivated the Internet is dead and buried and I’m not trying to resurrect it anytime soon, but if you are curious about the science behind why one dress looks completely different to different people, read here. And see how good you are at differentiating colors here — you may have a fourth cone, which means you probably saw the blue and black dress for what is was: a goddamned blue and black dress.
And here’s Earl Sinclair singing “Hypnotize” because it’s Thursday and we all need this.
The Academy Award nominees were announced Thursday, but you only need to know one name:
Dick Poop. Dick Poop! Read the rest of the stupid,
non-funnily named nominees here.
Dick Poop is the Adele
Dazeem of 2015.
And speaking of Idina Menzel, the woman whose name was famously botched by John Travolta at last year’s Oscars/she who is responsible for all the bitches still singing “Let It Go” will perform the national anthem at the Super Bowl on Feb. 1. John Legend will also perform prior to the game, singing “America the Beautiful.” Katy Perry is the half-time star; Lenny Kravitz (and surely many more to be announced) will join her.
Is the moon a star or a planet? Isaac Mizrahi and designer Jane Treacy discuss.
FYI, brainiacs, the moon is just a moon. Don’t shame yourself by Googling it.
Parks and Recreation is busting out its final season with two episodes per week, and while the show’s time jump to 2017 has provided some laughs (Councilman Jamm fell for Tammy Two; Jerry is now Terry – Dammit, Terry!), it’s nice to see the show go back to its roots. After opening the season with a feuding Ron and Leslie, last night’s ep brought them back together — like never before.
And speaking of Parks and Rec, if you’re a serious fan and/or serious gamer, someone is raising funds for a very serious Cones of Dunshire game on Kickstarter. So far they’ve got about 10 percent of their $300,000 goal, and it’ll cost you a $500 donation to receive the game. Pretty steep, but I think Ben would approve of the financial investment.
Justin Bieber is the next celeb to be roasted on Comedy Central. The Photoshop victim and general twat joked that he had finally given the network enough material to work with. No film or air date yet, but Biebz says it’s a gift for his 21st birthday, which is coming up on March 1 (so help us).
Kevin Hart hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend, but all eyes were on musical guest Sia. Actually, her eyes were covered as she gave the spotlight to her fellow (amazing) performers.
Maddie “Lil’ Sia” Ziegler performed her blonde-wigged/nude-suited choreography for “Elastic Heart” with a matching female dancer (instead of Shia LaBeouf, who costars in the video).
And then she performed “Chandelier” with a badass mime.
All the feels!
And here’s a weird Kyle Mooney (redundant) skit that was cut from the episode:
Lots of people are talking about American Sniper: Did director Clint Eastwood get snubbed for an Oscar nod? Is it “war porn?” Can we stop talking about Bradley Cooper’s “transformation” as if eating 8,000 calories a day is some super difficult task? And what the fuck is happening with that fake baby?
Yes, #fakebaby has been trending, and it all refers to a quick scene with Cooper and Sienna Miller’s characters and their new baby. Which is most definitely a not-alive doll. Seriously, an Oscar-nominated movie with a fake baby? Kids today just do not understand work ethic.
Finally, President Obama gave the State of the Union Address last night, which is a real important thing. Also important: John Boehner’s tan in corresponding Pantone colors:
American Idol’s 14th season premiered last week and if you think you shouldn’t care because Ryan Seacrest makes you uncomfortable, you are wrong. Well, not about the Ryan Seacrest part — he is very distracting. Like, why is he still around? How much does he get paid to be a weirdo to young singers? Is he actually a robot? What really happened to Brian Dunkleman? But you should be excited because Cincinnati’s own Jess Lamb is on it, and there’s a very good chance she’ll go far in the competition.
I typically don’t watch the
music competition shows like Idol and
The Voice, because witnessing genuine
humans be embarrassed on television really upsets me. But when I heard Jess
Lamb had auditioned and got the golden Hollywood ticket, I had to give the show a
shot. Jess is a great local artist and I camped next to her at Bonnaroo one year, so I'm pretty much famous by proxy.
Anyway, at 28 years old, Jess is painted as the mature one of the auditioning bunch, which is probably going to make you feel like a shriveled French fry at the bottom of a car. But with her age (seriously, I can’t) comes a breadth of talent and experience. She writes and performs her own songs but — judging by her audition — has no trouble with the traditional covers Idol necessitates.
Jess auditioned in Kansas City, Mo., and got a great reaction from the judges, particularly crooner Harry Connick, Jr. Check it out:
Auditions will continue
every Wednesday and Thursday for the next couple weeks, so we won’t be seeing
much of Jess again until the final 48 contestants are narrowed down to 24 after
a performance in front of a live audience (this has already been filmed). So, will
Jess make the cut? Idol teased us
with a “look” — or rather, listen — at the top 24. You can hear them sing but
can’t really make out anyone’s face. Judge for yourself.
All I can make out is a Captain Hook-looking dude with dreads. GO JESS.
Remember the uber-sleazy Gaston from Beauty and the Beast? You know the song, “No one's slick as Gaston/No one's quick as Gaston/No one does push-ups in the middle of an amusement park like Gaston…” What? Yes.
Also, why did I just learn that the little girl, Maddie Ziegler, is from Lifetime gem Dance Moms?!
Speaking of times when we
all get sucked into Wikipedia holes… Rapper T.I. is basically a suicide prevention
specialist. This isn’t news, but it’s new to me (please don’t ask why I’m Internet-searching
random rappers at night). Seriously, “Rescue of suicidal men” is a sub-section
on his Wikipedia page. In 2010, he stopped a young man from taking his life by
convincing him to not jump off a 22-foot Atlanta building. T.I. heard about the
situation on the radio, drove to the scene and asked police if there was
anything he could do to help. Pretty incredible. But before that, in 2006, T.I. discovered a struggling Scott Stapp
after the Creed frontman had jumped over his hotel balcony (whether this was a suicide
attempt or the result of insomniac hallucinations varies in reports). Can
we have T.I. intervene on Scott Stapp again please? Side note: Awesome reality
show idea. For real, though, dude seems like he needs it.
On a lighter note, here’s a
Larry David Lynch blog!
Parks and Recreation’s final season premiered last night. Jurassic World will be unleashed into theaters this summer. Chris Pratt stars in both. Relevant:
American Crime Story casting news! If you recall, Ryan Murphy is spinning off on his American Horror Story miniseries franchise with a true crime series. The idea is to explore a different criminal case in American history each season, like how each AHS season explores fear and freaky folklore in a different arena. The series’ debut will focus on the O.J. Simpson trial. Cuba Gooding, Jr.will play O.J., David "Forever Ross" Schwimmer will play Robert Kardashian and John Travolta will play Robert Shapiro. So much wut.
This dog takes a bus to the
dog park and knows to get off at the appropriate stop — alone — which is more than I can
say about myself.
The Golden Globes, a.k.a Amy ‘n’ Tina’s Sleepover Party, were Sunday. The duo kicked ass in their final hosting gig, don’t get me wrong, but overall the show left me wanting something more exciting. Maybe it was the fact that the awards were so spread out. There were big winners, for sure (Transparent, Boyhood), but there were a lot of new winners (which yields heartfelt but otherwise boring speeches) and no one show or film truly swept.
If anything, it gave me a bunch of new movies and shows to add to my watch-list. Peep the nominees and winners here, if you care, but the best part of the production was the monologue.
TinAmy were perfection. They even killed it with a Cosby rape joke that certainly shook up the audience. Nothing like seeing rich, famous celebrities panic over whether it’s OK to laugh.
Leelah Alcorn — the local transgender teen who took her own life earlier this month — got a shout out from Transparent creator Jill Soloway.
The stars of Fifty Shades of Grey couldn’t muster enough chemistry to present an award, so that’s probably not a good sign…
George Clooney got a lifetime achievement award and said nice things about his new wife.
Chrissy Teigen ugly-cried when husband John Legend accepted an award with Common.
And that’s about it! Of course, the Oscars are the pinnacle of awards season, and those nominees will be announced Thursday.
Peter Pan Live! took over TVs last week and it wasn’t nearly as messy as last year’s live spectacle, The Sound of Music, but I’m still confused about a very feminine woman (Allison Williams) playing a boyish man — and so are the folks at SNL. More on that later.
Marnie did a fine job and Christopher Walken was, well, Christopher Walken, but Jane Krakowski’s interpretation of Peter Pan would have been truly outstanding.
Last week I wrote about the other big TV spectacular du jour, Eaten Alive on Discovery Channel. Basically, for weeks the network teased us with the promise that nature-type Paul Rosolie baited a giant anaconda into eating him alive (while wearing a special safety suit, oxygen and a camera), all for us viewers at home to watch — only he didn’t. After an hour and 45 minutes of build-up, dude tapped out after only a portion of his head inside the snake for, like three seconds. Understandable outrage spilled onto Twitter. I mean, how long until I can turn on basic cable and watch a man get killed on live television?
In Case You Missed It: Charlie Hustle is hawking Sketchers now. In this commercial (which apparently debuted a couple months ago but I just recently saw), Pete “The Relaxer” Rose touts the brand’s new comfy shoe line and pokes fun of the whole Hall of Fame ban.
Also, great cameo from his glamorous wife Kiana. I
miss seeing her on TV.
Queen Bey and King Hov hung out with their British equivalents at a Nets game this week. Prince William and Duchess Kate took a royal tour of NYC, complete with a visit to the Empire State building, some chill time with LeBron James (they even got a tiny Cavs jersey for baby George) and a quick Illuminati meet-up with the Carter Dynasty. Kate, give the people what they want, already. No, not a prime baby bump pic — a “7/11” video reenactment in Buckingham Palace!
James Franco and Nicki Minaj performed on Saturday Night Live last week. In addition to poking fun at Peter Pan Live!, highlights included a Hip Hop nativity, Nicki as Kim Kardashian and Beyoncé, a realistic Star Wars trailer and a hilariously weird skit with Mike O’Brien, "Grow-A-Guy."
And in a skit that was cut for time, hosts of a St. Louis morning show feel incredibly awkward going live after the events in Ferguson.
Sons of Anarchy is officially over and, DAYUM, the last few episodes/season/basically all of it was brutal. No spoilers, but I will definitely miss seeing Charlie Hunnam’s chiseled butt cheeks on the reg and sweet Nero, with his delicate V-neck cardigans. (Jimmy Smitts was seriously amazing in this role). If you, too, need your Hunnam fix, check out his early days on Queer as Folk or in Judd Apatow’s Freaks and Geeks follow-up, Undeclared. Baby British Jax! And congrats to Vanderpump Rules’ Jax Taylor for basically stealing the name being the new reigning Jax of television.
New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: the latest film version of the beloved French short story The Little Prince; Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan star in romantic musical The Last Five Years; Dwyane "Still The Rock" Johnson's natural disaster flick San Andreas.
Survivor-type Bear Grylls may drink his own pee and propose to his wife with an ass diamond, but naturalist filmmaker Paul Rosolie is upping the ante in the weird wilderness game by allowing himself to be “eaten alive” — for real, apparently — by an anaconda on TV.
Judging by the trailer, viewers will witness Rosolie and his crew travel to the Amazon, hunt down an anaconda, suit up in a custom death-proof ensemble, douse himself with pig blood and wait for said anaconda to get hungry. The Eaten Alive special airs on Discovery on Sunday, Dec. 7 as part of something called “Mega Week.” Apparently both Rosolie and the anaconda survived the incident, which was filmed in advance. Cue the music!
In other “Oh my god, Becky” news, Kim Kardashian’s greasy butt on the cover of Paper magazine has everyone all in a tizzy. I think we should be offended by the headline/goal of the spread to “Break the Internet,” because haven’t we all seen Kim’s dump truck plenty of times before? More noteworthy is the fact that she’s popping out of a trash bag, which is actually quite fitting.
Look at these cute illustrations of movies with one letter removed from the title. And yes, I would totally see a Ron Swanson superhero movie called Ron Man.
Some of your favorite lady-shows are coming back in January!
Girls returns Jan. 11:
Broad City is back Jan. 14:
Your BFF Jennifer Lawrence will never get a Twitter, and it’s all because
you pervs who looked at her hacked pics she’s “not very good on phone or
TIL Jennifer Lawrence is all of our moms.
Entertainment Weekly’s annual reunion issue is on stands now, which means apparently it’s already time to reminisce about Mean Girls and Napoleon Dynamite.
Fox News’ Megyn Kelly accidentally cursed on air when introducing Mike Huckabee this week. She said Fuckabee.
Watch these 1980s aerobic workout stars get down to Taylor Swift earworm “Shake It Off”
New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: Neill Blomkamp (District 9, Elysium) teams up with the incomparable Sharlto Copley again with Chappie, about a robot raised by a group of humans (Dev Patel, Yolandi and Ninja of Die Antwoord), proving once again that Copley is the go-to actor to play robot men; World War I drama Testament of Youth, starring Kit Harington (aka a beardless Jon Snow) and Hayley Atwell; and a fucking Minions movie.
It might seem impossible to celebrate both No Shave November and the sesquicentennial of the Civil War, but Cincinnati natives Julia and Anna Hider have just the solution.
Their blog-turned-book Badass Civil War Beards showcases the best facial hair the war had to offer, from the most recognized politicians to unidentified soldiers. There are many aspects of 1860s America that have thankfully vanished over the last century-and-a-half, but today’s modern man can learn plenty from the epic facial styles of Union and Confederate soldiers.
CityBeat recently sat down with Julia and Anna Hider to discuss their new book and all things beard related.
CityBeat: Where did you get the idea for the blog?
Julia Hider: I was watching a History Channel documentary about the Lincoln assassination, and I just noticed that everybody had crazy facial hair, and so I texted Anna and I said, ‘Hey, we’re gonna write a blog about this, will you go set one up?’ and she did. And she picked out the name and…here we are!
CB: Did it take off pretty quickly?
Anna Hider: I just have a personal Tumblr for stupid pictures, like dogs and stuff. We started getting followers pretty quickly, I was kind of surprised — there are obviously lots of people on Tumblr that have more followers than us, but I was surprised by the history fandom — I guess you would say — of Tumblr, and how many history nerds there are on there.
CB: Even though you were at different schools [Ohio State and Syracuse], did you collaborate on it the whole time?
AH: We each did one post a day.
CB: And how did it get on BuzzFeed?
AH: I did that! But the thing is, it was a community post, but it made it on the front page of buzzfeed.com
JH: So Anna just wrote it.
AH: And I just sent it out on the Internet.
JH: And the community editors liked it, so they promoted it to the front of the community page, then I guess more editors saw it and liked it and so they put it on the front page of Buzzfeed, which is impressive for a community post.
AH: It was like the first time they had done anything like that, so I’m like, ‘This is easy.’ It was actually my second Buzzfeed [post]; my first one was called, “9 Giant Rocks That Look Like Willies.”
JH: I really think Buzzfeed helped us get the [book] deal.
CB: And what made you want to turn it into a book?
JH: I first thought of it as a coffee table book, but I switched to the blog because it’s easier to do. But I was on Tumblr one day and saw that Chronicle...
AH: It’s like the biggest indie book publisher.
JH: ...out of San Francisco, I saw that they were having a contest and they were looking for the next Tumblr blog to turn into a book, and they wanted to have this contest so we entered it. And we didn’t win, but we got shortlisted, and that’s how we got it out there that we were interested in publishing a book, but we didn’t get the book deal for another year.
AH: It hasn’t even been a year, it was like mid-November of last year.
CB: Was it hard turning it into a book?
JH: Not really because we had a lot of stuff to draw on. When I write an everyday post, I normally find [photos] on Wikipedia because it’s easier to click through and you find one person, and that links to another person, and that links to another person…But we went through the Library of Congress to write the book, so all the pictures are from the Library and you can have the rights to those because they’re over 150 years old.
AH: And they’re in the public domain. There are tons that we had never seen before, like unidentified soldiers, doing weird stuff. There were two guys holding pipes up to each other, and we’re like, ‘We had never seen this before. This is incredible.’
JH: There’s a good mix of stuff that was popular on the blog or stuff that we really liked, and there’s also a good amount of new stuff, too.
CB: If you had to pick a side, who had better beards? The North or the South?
AH: This one constantly torments me, because I know people are going to ask this. I want to say the Confederates, but it’s probably the Union.
JH: I feel like it has to be the Union because they were more urban and cosmopolitan.
AH: And they had Ambrose Burnside, they had Abe Lincoln, they had tons of really creative stuff.
JH: The North just had way more people in general. I think that’s part of it.
CB: Do you think crazy beards like that will ever make a comeback?
JH: I think they kind of are.
CB: It’s kind of like the hipster look. Is it a bad thing, though?
AH: Of course not!
JH: You can express yourself through your facial hair.
AH: Everyone looks good in a beard.
CB: I’ve tried. Last year I did No Shave November and it was terrible.
CB: So do you have a most badass Civil War beard?
JH: I mean I really like Ambrose Burnside, but I also like when people tried to copy him. Sometimes it didn’t go so well. This one guy in the book, Gabriel Rains, it just doesn’t look good on him. It just looks bad.
AH: I really like Joe Revere, because he had a normal beard then he waxed it into like three points. I don’t know why you would do that, but he did and it looks really cool. Or Roswell Ripley, who just had the biggest mustache ever, and it’s kind of gross looking.
CB: Is there any other period of time where you think beards would rival [the Civil War]?
AH: Maybe caveman times.
JH: I think that’s really the only other time.
CB: But they couldn’t shave, so that’s really sort of unfair.
JH: You could sharpen a rock so it’s sharp enough to shave, right?
CB: So do you still post on the blog?
JH: Yea, I think it was important to keep posting because I didn’t want to make our followers feel like we had abandoned them because we were trying to write a book.
AH: It wouldn’t make sense to stop. We want more people to find out about it, and start growing beards of their own.
CB: Do you have any next steps, plans after this?
JH: We don’t have anything solid.
AH: But if we could write another book, it might be about ladies, like Badass Civil War Babes.
JH: Because we’ve been looking at guys’ faces every single day for almost three years, and I kind of get sick of it. I try to bring in ladies whenever I can, but it’s not that often. We’d like to give them some attention.
Julia and Anna Hider launch the release of Badass Civil War Beards tonight at 7 p.m. at Joseph-Beth Booksellers. For some inspiration on growing your own badass beard, check out their blog at badasscivilwarbeards.tumblr.com.
With Halloween coming up Friday, we’ve got lots of costumes to look forward to/dread: over-the-top celebrity ensembles, clever pop culture costumes, folks who didn’t get the memo that Halloween is not an excuse to be racist. But we get an awesome early costume from Paralympian Josh Sundquist. The athlete lost his left leg as a child and couldn’t be any better of a sport about it, as evidenced by his creative costumes year after year. This time around, he’s a foosball player.
Holy shit, Harry Potter can rap.
LeVar Burton has read countless books to children during his time on Reading Rainbow. But now, Burton just wants kids to Go the Fuck to Sleep.
Let’s talk about last week’s SNL. Jim Carrey hosted for the third time, this one in advance of
the upcoming Dumb and Dumber sequel (so help us, god). If you’re wondering why
the comedian never starred on the sketch comedy show, instead getting his big
break on In Living Color, he tried
— read more about his failed auditions here.
While the episode had its low points — more on musical guest Iggy Azalea later — Jim Carrey served up classic Jim Carrey insanity with plenty of physical humor, face-morphing impressions and even a walk down memory lane with his characters from the past 25 years. Best of all was his take on the weird Matthew McConaughey Lincoln ads.
Then there was Iggy Azalea. The musical guests so far this season have all catered toward a mostly younger audience, but that’s typically the case. And whether you’re sick of her faux Atlanta rap-cent or you still have “Fancy” as your ringtone, Iggy has churned out hit after hit over the past year and she should have been able to produce at least a mildly entertaining performance. But she did not. Both performances flat-lined, plagued with bad lip synching to less-than-stellar pre-recorded tracks, awkward quasi-dancing (you don’t have to have choreography just because you’re a girl, you know) and featured artists with whom she had zero chemistry. And I know following every episode of SNL someone writes a “Was this the worst performance in SNL history?” commentary, but you really have to watch the uncomfortable, dead-eyed performances for yourself.
It seemed more like a skit making fun of white girl
rappers than anything. But it stands as a reminder that ass alone does not a rapper make.
Blog You Should Follow: Drunk J. Crew
Pardon my Seinfeldism, but what is the deal with kids on competition shows? First there was MasterChef Junior, where kids who have been cooking since they were in diapers compete to impress Gordon Ramsay and other chefs. Now there’s Project Runway: Threads with little Tim Gunns that know their way around a sewing machine better I can ever dream (hot glue is my savior). Do you want me to feel inferior to 9-year-olds?
Apparently you can permanently alter the color of your eyes if you hate yourself just enough!
Marcel the Shell is back! Jenny Slate and Dean Fleischer-Camp’s lovable personified shell returns for the first time since 2011 with a new video and a book, Marcel the Shell: The Most Surprised I've Ever Been. Marcel the Shell with Shoes On went viral in 2010 but the short film actually has critical accolades, too: It was awarded Best Animated Short at AFI FEST 2010, was an official selection of the 2011 Sundance Film Festival and won the Grand Jury and Audience Awards at the New York International Children's Film Festival. (You know, just in case you needed any further proof that Jenny Slate is the best.)
And speaking of new installments of viral videos, there’s a new Between Two Ferns with — as Zach Galifianikis calls him — Bradley Pitts.
New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: Paddington Bear, a character made popular through children’s books since 1958, gets the live-action treatment in Paddington; A troubled young man finds the will to live when his young but more mature niece is put in his care in Before I Disappear; and Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Chelsea Peretti has a stand-up special coming to Netflix next month, One of the Greats.