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by Isaac Thorn 07.08.2009
Posted In: baseball at 11:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
 
 

Which Sucks More: Wrigley or Cubs Fans?

Sometimes as nicely as you'd like to put things it is hard to maintain a professional, calm and reserved style when communicating about it. When Reds announcers and many others described Shea stadium as "a dump" when it was limping in the direction of euthanasia, I knew what they meant but didn't agree that it was that terrible.

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by Danny Cross 01.14.2009
Posted In: Basketball, baseball at 03:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
 
 

The Reds Are Weird and it’s EE’s Fault

This year’s free agent market has been extremely slow in developing, and there are still big-name guys waiting to find out where they fit in. The opportunity is ripe for a team like the Reds, with a little cash to spend, to find a rare deal. But the Reds are a weird team right now, and it’s been difficult to figure out what would be a good move, even if it comes for less than market value.

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by Danny Cross 03.29.2012
Posted In: baseball at 02:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 
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Ranking Jose Canseco’s Global Warming Tweets

Former MLB meathead goes ROFL on Twitter

Former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco doesn’t have the best image. After breaking into the majors as a super fast, freaky power hitter with the Oakland A’s and winning a World Series with his fellow Bash Brother/performance-enhancing-drug-user Mark McGwire, Canseco’s career and reputation were marred by injuries and a series of embarrassing moments on and off the field.

In 1992, Canseco was traded to another team while he was in the on-deck circle waiting to bat. In 1993, a fly ball bounced off his head and over the fence for a home run — This Week In Baseball in 1998 named the incident the greatest blooper of the show’s first 20-plus years. Canseco then asked his manager to pitch in a game even though he was an outfielder, which resulted in an elbow injury that required surgery.

During the PED witch hunt of the early 2000s, Canseco apparently took exception to MLB’s — and the media’s — obsession with how huge Barry Bonds’ body and head had gotten and released a tell-all book called Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big, in which he claimed that the majority of MLB players were on steroids.

Since then, Canseco has generally been seen as a doofus who does silly things to maintain his celebrity and make relatively small amounts of money, such as participating in reality shows, claiming Madonna liked him more than he liked her and training for a mixed martial arts fight and then losing in 77 seconds.

Canseco in the past few days has apparently attempted to rectify all his wrongs with a series of tweets aimed at schooling all the “morons” who don’t believe in global warming. It reads as a passionate, if grammatically flawed, cry for reason in the wake of the mass consumption and laziness that has led to the death of thousands of polar bears and, apparently, Al Gore.

The following is a collection of the tweets, which have made quite an impression on the Twitter community, ranked in order of hilariousness.

Be the first to receive future advice on world-changing lifestyle tips from Jose Canseco by following him @JoseCanseco.

8. The tweet that got it all started — Canseco alerts the public that he is going to drop some serious knowledge about global warming the following day, likely using an aggressive tone.

7. While this tweet was certainly informative, the “reduce, reuse, recycle” motto has been known even by the laziest non-recyclers for a long time. The Playboy celebrity golf tournament reference is funny, though — classic Canseco.


6. “How do we stop global warming?” A relevant question, completely reasonable coming from someone like Canseco who probably doesn’t actually know the answer.

5. Here’s where Canseco starts really lashing into the skeptics, his frustration with mass consumption demonstrating a larger level of understanding of the issue, which likely surprised many readers. Canseco also introduces the concept of polar bears in this tweet, which is essential to later hilarity.

4. Ridiculously bad grammar aside, Canseco again makes a good point — in some countries families indeed share much less space than we use in America. The second reference to polar bears is really funny and for some reason unexpected.

3. Canseco in this tweet proves that he’s not going to let the issue of lazy, over-consuming humans fizzle out after a couple of liberal-esque polar bear references. Jose is now invoking the sacrifices of the pioneers, who didn’t use any electricity and just slept in flannel pajamas even when it was snowing. A pretty good point.

2. Jose Canseco thinks Al Gore is dead.

1. If Canseco is correct that lowering your body temperature at night will make you live 20-percent longer, then he’s probably well on his way to solving global warming. Energy savings aside, Canseco’s hope that he’ll live into his seventies rather than dying in some stupid way during the next 10 years is likely what led to this outburst of social consciousness.

 
 
by Mike Breen 05.10.2012
Posted In: baseball at 11:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
halfnakedrose

Hang with Pete Rose at a Casino

The Cincinnati Reds' star/Hit King to appear at Belterra next weekend

No matter how many times Pete Rose makes an appearance at a casino, it still just screams, "INAPPROPRIATE!" in light of his place in baseball history (the bad stuff, not the greatness). Guess a guy's gotta make a living somehow. Next weekend you can once again hang with the Hit King and play the slots when he makes an appearance at Belterra Casino in Indiana. He'll appear in the casino/resort's "CenterStage Showroom" (now THAT's appropriate). The event is being billed as "An Evening with Pete Rose: 4,192, The Making of the Hit King."

Here's what you can look forward to, per the press release:
Baseball enthusiasts will witness Belterra’s CenterStage transform into a ballpark atmosphere for a 90 minute interactive celebration of Pete Rose and the great game of baseball.

The one night only event will give fans an inside look at what it was like be on the ride as Rose reached key milestones and earned his place among baseball greats. Unique video and photo highlights serve as the backdrop for Rose as he shares personal stories from his playing career and fields questions from the event host.

Join Pete Rose as he recounts the greatest moments in his legendary career from his glory days with the Big Red Machine and playing in the World Series to his 44 game hitting streak and the epic collision in the 1970 All-Star game.  Rose will recount his feelings as he chased the 3,000 and 4,000 hit plateau and the emotion he felt when he reached the pinnacle of his career, hit number 4,192.

Tickets are available here or here and cost $30.

 
 
by Danny Cross 07.03.2013
Posted In: baseball at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
homer-bailey-p1

Deadspin Rips Paul Daugherty over Homer Bailey Take

Columnist is super offended by bad words

Reds pitcher Homer Bailey threw the second no-hitter of his career last night and dropped an awesome F-bomb during a postgame TV interview. The comment came in response to a pretty dumb question about whether batting in the sixth inning had something to do with him walking a batter in the seventh, the only baserunner to reach and the only reason his no-no isn't considered a perfect game.

Bailey said: "I just fucking walked a guy. This game is pretty tough, you know?”

Enquirer sports columnist Paul Daugherty apparently dropped his prune juice at the sound of the naughty word, and sports site Deadspin ripped Daugherty’s responses on Twitter and his blog, where he criticized Bailey's lack of class, bemoaned a grown-ass man cursing and felt for the poor cable TV viewers who had to witness it.

Deadspin: "Cincinnati Columnist Remarkably Upset That Homer Bailey Said 'Fucking'"

Video below (Note: Bailey is covered with shaving cream because a teammate pied him earlier, after they dumped red Gatorade all over him):


The Enquirer's blog link wasn't working for a while on Wednesday, but Sports Editor Angel Rodriguez said it was just a technical issue and that their people have been having fun with the situation, as evidenced by this "Homer F@!cking Bailey" image they posted on Facebook:

Bailey was actually the most recent pitcher in baseball to throw a no-hitter, performing the feat against Pittsburgh last September. Bailey is the first pitcher since Nolan Ryan in 1974-75 to throw consecutive no-hitters out of everyone in baseball.

 
 
by Isaac Thorn 06.17.2009
Posted In: baseball at 01:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 

Random Sports Ramblings

Like General Motors, Hoagy Time has "reinvented" itself. Riding the emotional wave of a two-game winning streak, my fantasy baseball team has righted the ship ... and has even softened its stance on Jimmy Rollins now that he's begun to hit.

Is fantasy baseball a thinking man's game or does it come down to pulling some juvenile antics and working the waiver wire like a streetwalker on McMicken?

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by Danny Cross 04.17.2012
Posted In: baseball at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
screen shot 2012-04-17 at 1.21.59 pm

Canseco: ‘Global Warming Could’ve Saved Titanic’

Former ballplayer says no icebergs = no shipwreck

When Jose Canseco last month offered his sincere concern over the world’s energy consumption and various global warming issues that have resulted, we at CityBeat were quick to report such thoughtful commentary. In a story titled “Ranking Jose Canseco’s Global Warming Tweets” we provided some background on the former Major League Baseball player/steroid user/author and recapped his series of hilarious tweets.

Most of us believed that our immense enjoyment of Canseco’s socio-political commentary would be short-lived — after following him on Twitter for a few days we were offered only recaps of him winning long drive competitions and pleading with Major League clubs to sign him even though he’s 47.

Then on Sunday something awesome happened. Apparently inspired by the recent release of Titanic 3D, Canseco in fewer than 144 characters again blew everyone’s minds: “Titanic 100 years wOw. Global warming couldve saved titanic. Sad to say.”

Canseco was prompted by skeptics to elaborate: “Because we don't recycle and consume like crazy icicles are non existent. Titanic wouldve still existed today," he wrote.

He then showed frustration with the people who didn’t understand the irony he was describing: “You clowns it's very simple. With global warning the weather is hotter so the icebergs would be melted and titanic saved.”

Skeptics satisfied, Canseco went back to blasting our wasteful lifestyles: “100 years ago people actually cared about planet and respected nature. Now we can care less and consume energy like it's free.”

And then, for good measure, he offered a couple slices of personality that prove follow Jose Canseco on Twitter will continue to be a worthwhile endeavor, political activism or not: “Titanic reminds me of the days I had two yachts in Miami but no icicles" and “I had a bat I named Titanic .It was biggest rawlings ever made and beautiful and unbreakable dont know where Titanic is now.”

It’s good to know that influential people like Jose Canseco are taking on such causes, even after learning that Al Gore is not dead. Hug 4 u, Jose.

 
 
by Isaac Thorn 12.10.2008
Posted In: baseball at 11:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 

Remembering Glenn Sample

It's too bad you don't get to see your own funeral, because if you lived a really good life and had a lot of close friends it'd be a good time. Monday night a coworker and I headed over to the Fifth Third Arena for Glenn Sample's memorial service.

I met Glenn last year when I began working for Major League Baseball at Great American Ballpark, and like everybody else says, he was the nicest guy you could ever meet. He would write down people's names upon meeting them so he wouldn't forget their names later. Glenn wore many hats throughout his life, and his nearly 30-year tenure as Official Scorer for the Reds is what led me to meet him.

Glenn loved UC athletics. He has a street named after him on campus and is a member of the school’s Hall of Fame (and eight others). In some ways, he reminded me of Jerry Orbach's character from Law & Order in that he was distinctly from another era and knew a ton more than you. He grasped a great deal of the sort of knowledge and life skills which are timeless.

The only player who ever hated Glenn was Davey Concepcion. Apparently, Davey thought he had never committed an error as a member of the Reds. Not once. Sometimes Concepcion would come off the field, angered that he had been charged with an error, and offer Glenn his extended middle finger or another vulgar gesture. Others in the booth would say, "Glenn, I think Davey's really mad with you this time!" to which he would reply "No. That's Spanish for ‘I love you.’”

I remember when the Mets were in town last year and their catcher Brian Schneider came up to bat. Before he was done digging in at the plate, he had purposely kicked and muddied up the batter's box so that all the lines were pretty much disintegrated. Obviously, Schneider was doing this so that he could creep up an inch or two further than he was allowed when he was back there catching: an old veteran shady move that vets try to get away with all the time.

I can say this was the only time I ever saw Glenn get angry. He said, "He can't do that! It's against the rules. They should throw him out of the game for doing that."

Somehow, it made me realize how guided an individual he was, and that nothing could affront him more than breaking the rules.

Many people's funeral video slideshows would consist largely of beer-in-one-hand poses and other forgetful occurrences. What I found impressive the night of Glenn’s service was how many years were spanned during the slideshow, and not a single picture was of him sitting on his butt doing nothing. They were all hitting, catching, coaching, refereeing — action shots.

Perhaps that's why I was so stunned to hear of his death. When I worked the last game of the season (which was a makeup game vs. Florida scheduled on a Tuesday afternoon that Fox SportsNet didn't even broadcast), he was as lively and full of vigor as ever.

To see Don Zimmer get up on stage, weep, and compare Glenn's jump shot to Shaquille O'Neal's foul shots was something else. These guys played high school ball together on the West Side and have had their lives intertwine for more than 50 years since then. The same Don Zimmer that got so pissed off at Pedro Martinez that he tried to attack him was moved to tears.

Former UC wrestler Frank Shaut cried through his eulogy, and while he was speaking I glanced up to see a photo of him from his wrestling days. In the photo he looks like a guy who would beat your ass and not think twice about it. To see him so hurt by Glenn's passing was a testament to the kind of life he lived.

Memorials are never fun, but this one was educational.

 
 
by Isaac Thorn 06.03.2009
Posted In: baseball at 03:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
 
 

Random Sports Ramblings

I went out of town and you wouldn't believe the things I saw! It sure was different!

As you can see, I've been working on my leads and intro paragraphs. I spent a week in Maine and had more fun watching the New England Sports Network I ever could have imagined. My little brother went to college up there, so he had four years of watching/enduring their unique brand of sports coverage.

The folks at that station really exemplify what it means to be a homer. Aside from that, I hear they have a regular segment in which a man takes a woman on a date to Fenway Park. The most confusing footage I watched was when former Patriots tight end Christian Fauria did a segment at McGreevy's bar, and he was holding this mammoth burger called the "Josh Beckett Burger."

It's for charity or something, which is good. Fauria's assessment of the burger was something else entirely. The camera focused on him, he held the burger up and said "This thing will go right through you!"

I'm not sure if that means something else up there by the Freedom Trail, but around here that is not how you describe something you want someone to purchase and eat.

The Boston Red Sox have many smart, level-headed fans. They also have a lot of fans who wear Red Sox hats and T-shirts that say things like "YANKEES SUCK" across the front.

My brother is correct in thinking that these folks exhibit the behavior of someone who has been bullied somehow. Yankees fans aren't nearly as concerned with Boston. I think they just want to win, and if they get to climb over the Red Sox to get there, then all the better.

The lunatic Red Sox fan has some distorted notion that the Yankees are a big market "Evil Empire," when their team is run no differently. I understand why A's and Twins fans might feel this way, but for Boston fans to makes no sense to me.

The more I watch Jonathan Papelbon the less I care for him. Also, the Dunkin Donuts ads featuring Dustin Pedroia are shot so that Pedroia looks like he's 6-5 and not 5-8 or whatever he is.

282Pedroia_ContestPromos.jpg

The worse my fantasy baseball team plays, the less I'm going to talk about it. I'm playing like the Diamondbacks.

I will say that Volquez's mystery-voodoo ailment coupled with Mike Cameron deciding his knees hurt on MONDAY really helps. A lot. Thanks.

I think I still love sports, but SportsCenter is getting harder and harder to watch. I just can't shake the notion that until they can routinely call the Mets catcher "Omir" instead of "Omar" Santos they should shy away from having Barry Melrose offer baseball analysis and certainly shelve those moronic moments in front of a screen where two or three anchors stand around sipping coffee, somehow trying to make their personalities (of which there is little) shine into the stories they are supposed to be telling.

More objective, coherent content to follow.

Image: Dustin Pedroia in yet another coffee-themed optical illusion.  


 
 
by Isaac Thorn 01.12.2009
Posted In: baseball at 03:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
 
 

Reconsidering Dunn

Thinking it over, Manny probably wouldn't be too stoked on coming to Cincinnati once he realized that the number of decent sushi places can be counted on the fingers of one hand. His casual, laid back demeanor may or may not encourage the core of the Reds team to approach the game with the true sense of urgency that is necessary to win consistently at the Major League level. Maybe Manny and the Dodgers smooth things out, and their Hollywood relationship splashes across the front page of newspapers out there for the next few years.

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