I've always assumed when growing up that every white, middle class suburban kid went through a Punk Rock phase in their lives. That assumption was put to rest by my girlfriend who has been dedicated to Cat Power and other depressing bands since she was introduced to music.
Let me just give you a run down on why grapes are so awesome. Grapes are by far one of the most versatile and delicious fruits on this wonderful planet we call Earth. Grapes are used in jam, juice, jelly, vinegar, wine and oils, which are the bases for many tantalizing treats we consume on a regular basis.
Today I was zooming around the Internet trying to figure out what to write my blog about. I decided to visit the CityBeat Staff Blogs, which you are reading now, to try and vote again for my own blog. I really needed to bring my stars back up to five after seeing a dismal 2.5 standing for the ER Finale (MAYBE IF SOMEONE WOULD HAVE POSTED IT ON TIME, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN RELEVANT). When I went to click the button for five more big stars I noticed that I couldn’t rate the blogs for a second time. After clicking the stars a little message pops up that says, “You already vote.”
Now that the economy has been kicking it snow sled style, I have been laid off from my wonderful job at a major Cincinnati corporation that makes jet engines. No, not Kroger! Silly! Now I find my days are free to do whatever I want! What do I choose to do you ask? Start a club of some sort that helps out the homeless of Cincinnati? Start a kick ass smart guy team of engineers to win the Automotive prize?
Today I was scanning the pop culture information super highway to catch up on the latest fads. What's cool, what's hott, what's in, what's not. As I clicked around I came across some newly published pictures of Jessica Simpson. As I gazed at her face with my bedroom eyes, they slowly transformed into bulging ping-pong balls. My F-stop quickly went from an f/8 to an f/1.4 in 1/500 of a second. The sight of this fat woman that was almost finished devouring Jessica Simpson's body, feet first, was on the front page of People magazine.
Passing gas is sometimes considered a reaction to a good meal from a satisfied consumer, but actually farts are made during the release of gas that your body produces during digestion. My farts however are starting to push my friends away. I have always farted throughout my life, like most people, but recently things have been getting out of control.
Saturday Ian and I played Nintendo Wii for about 8 hours straight. No joke. I was just warming up my arm for ping pong that night. To get our game faces on we all decided to have a pizza party to fill our tummies to the brim with prime protein and pure ping pong nutrition! Then it was off to the Gypsy Hut to start scouting the talent on the table. I am a regular customer to the Gypsy Hut ping pong table so I have seen most of the faces that occupy the Ping Pong Party Plaza.
His name has been altered to protect his identity.
D. Cross was just like any ordinary man with an online profile. He uploaded pictures of his spring break trip to Panama City, complete with tags of his new found friends that he met while intoxicated with the sweet sin of Homo sapien love. His friend count started to rise every day, getting poked left and right from people that live in his city and people that went to the same graduate school. D. Cross was on top of the internet social networking world!
Ah, the spring has sprung and days are growing longer. No more depressing winter cold invading our souls and sucking our lives away as we nap into the afternoon. The imprint in my bed will soon start to rise and my silhouette will disappear. Winter fades into the past and mid-terms or finals come to an end, meaning only one thing: It is finally Spring Break! The ultimate unsupervised vacation for minors and the equally immature freshman in college.
The past three years I have been Batman for Halloween. It was always an easy choice; just throw on some thermals, put on a jock strap and head out the door with the utility belt as a wallet and road dog holder.