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by Danny Cross 06.27.2011
Posted In: The Worst at 12:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 

Poker Players Are the Worst

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been playing a lot of poker lately. That's not to say I'm not somewhat embarrassed each time I tell a fellow adult that I “play poker” — a statement which normally garners a response connecting the game to something along the lines of the lottery or Bingo. “Oh really? My father lost our first car betting on rat races. Hope your luck's better than his!”

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by Jac Kern 10.10.2012
Posted In: Movies, Music, TV/Celebrity, The Worst, Commentary at 11:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Even the most plugged-in, pop culture-obsessed Facebook addicts miss out on Internet crazes every once in a while; thus, Koren performer Psy’s viral music video for “Gangnam Style” somehow escaped me. I’d seen the term mentioned on blogs and even watched a (ridiculously high quality) wedding video based on confusing sensation before I was able to find a reference the original video. (Isn’t it funny how that happens?) I found myself Googling “What the hell is Gangnam Style?!” not knowing if it was a dance craze or song or fashion trend. The song actually mocks the lifestyle of rich residents of the Seoul suburb, though most attention surrounds Psy, a middle aged man singing angrily whilst doing a PG version of “the pony.” I guess some of the humor is lost on me because I’m secretly bitter I didn’t discover it early on.

Gangnam’s latest incarnation? Mitt Romney Style!

Who’s down for a rousing game of “Steak House or Gay Bar?

Twitter poet and Kardashian-humper Kanye West stripped us all of our daily affirmation source by deleting all of his previous tweets last week. He has since returned to Twitter, but just to mourn the one-year since Steve Jobs’ death. Riveting stuff.

Vomiting onstage is the new black. Lately, high-profile performers across the globe have proverbially sniffed the milk carton, shrugged and took a sip anyway, all ending up tossing their cookies on stage. Now, if you’re like music editor Mike Breen, watching people experience a retaliating digestive system is disturbing and you'd rather not see that shit. Otherwise, here’s Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber barfing at their recent respective gigs. Thank goodness for HuffPo, who compiled a gallery of “Stars Who’ve Puked During Concerts.”

When Heidi Klum and Seal broke up, I was crushed (mostly because it meant no I’d really never be invited to one of their epic Halloween parties or themed vow renewals). When Amy Poehler and Will Arnett split, I was angry and confused. (Can’t they just laugh it off?!) Well, now I know there’s no such thing as love because after more than 30 years together, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have separated. Maybe people grow apart after decades together. Perhaps DeVito’s role as Frank on Always Sunny began rubbing off on him. I don’t care — Matilda’s parents were supposed to stay together forever.


Thankfully, Amber Tamblyn and David Cross got hitched this week, giving us all a final shred of hope for humanity. Check out Questlove’s Instagram (the coolest way to peep wedding pics, ever) for photos of the Esty-fied Tommy Hilfiger ad starring Joan of Arcadia and Tobias Fünke.

 
 
by Jac Kern 04.30.2012
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, The Worst, Movies, Fun, Comedy, Commentary at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's favorite recent pop culture and Internet findings

The White House Correspondents’ Dinner was Saturday, and while CityBeat’s invitation must have gotten lost in the mail, the event brought journalists, celebrities and famewhores from across the country to Washington, D.C. What began in the 1920s as an opportunity to recognize journalists is now more of a “Washington goes Hollywood” event, usually hosted by comedians and attended by celebs who have little (if anything) to do with politics or reporting. Although the event gets criticism for becoming a schmooze-fest, I’m a fan of what has become a Washington roast, where politicians stop taking themselves too seriously, at least for one night.

President Obama kicked off the night with a dig at his recent “hot mic” incident, and continued by poking fun at other politicians, odd celebrity guests and other current events.



The evening was hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, who took the stage like a true equal opportunity offender:



Speaking of diminishing journalistic integrity, how ‘bout the rise and (immediate) fall Gawker’s Fox News mole? Earlier this month, Gawker announced a new column by a Fox News employee, who was prepared to share the deepest, darkest secrets from everyone’s favorite conservative channel — or something. Two days later, the “mole” (revealed as O’Reilly Factor associate producer Joe Muto) was found out by the network and subsequently fired. So that’s the end of that, right? Not quite. Muto was served with a search warrant early Wednesday morning. New York’s District Attorney’s office seized Muto’s laptop, cell phone and some notebooks as part of an open investigation. Fox News is accusing Muto of conspiracy and grand larceny, according to this warrant. The best/worst part of the whole debacle is that Muto only managed four Gawker posts, which included juicy Fox dirt like a photo of a bathroom Bill O’Reilly uses and a clip of Mitt Romney talking about his horses to Sean Hannity. Yawn. UPDATE: Muto apparently grew up in Cincinnati. Represent!

From Pizza Hut’s new pies with cheeseburgers instead of crusts to the Heart Attack Grill living up to its name, junk food on ‘roids is all the rage right now! Las Vegas’ Heart Attack Grill is known for its over-the-top diner grub, including a “Quadruple Bypass Burger,” so should anyone be surprised that eating there could potentially be harmful to one’s health? For the second time this year, a guest collapsed at the restaurant, which boasts the Guinness World Record for highest calorie hamburger (9,983 — about five times the calories recommended for one day). People go to Vegas for the thrill of a gamble — the Heart Attack Grill just offers a unique spin!

Meanwhile, in the Middle East, Pizza Hut is finally solving that boring pizza crust problem (what are we supposed to do — just eat plain dough?!) by swapping it for cheeseburgers and chicken sliders. This came just weeks after we were introduced to The Hut’s hot dog-stuffed crust, which is now available in the U.K. The most shocking part about these pizza monstrosities? They aren’t served in the States (yet)! Are we becoming a healthier nation or is our fatness just rubbing off on other countries?

In movie news, a 2007 viral comedy short is now becoming a star-studded smorgasbord. Jay and Seth vs. The Apocalypse starred Jay Baruchel and Seth Rogan as friends confined to an apartment during the end of the world. Filmed in just four days immediately following production on Knocked Up, the short is only available as a trailer on YouTube:



After the success of Knocked Up, Pineapple Express and other Rogen comedies, the crew is remaking the short into a feature film, currently titled The End of The World. In the film, James Franco (playing himself) hosts a party at his apartment when the world begins…to end. Party-goers will include Jonah Hill, Danny McBride and Aziz Ansari, in addition to Rogen and Baruchel. It’s an Apatowpocalypse!

While these dudes are taking something scary (the apocalypse) and turning it into something funny, this bitch is turning something from my youth (dolls) into the stuff of nightmares. Meet Valeria Lukyanov, “human” Barbie!


Also, this Craigslist ad:


 
 
by Hannah McCartney 03.28.2013
Posted In: The Worst, Culture, Fashion, Life at 12:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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Are the Swedes Leading the Mannequin Revolution?

You know when you’re at the store and they’ve run out of your size in a shirt you really, really wanted? And you look at the one hanging on the mannequin hoping and praying it’s a medium so you can derobe her and leave with that peplum top?

We all know that’s a lost cause, because she’s always, without fail, wearing a damn extra small, because anything larger would engulf the porcelain, size 2 life-size Barbie, which would make the clothes terrible and nobody would want to buy them.

One department store in Sweden — surprisingly, the stereotypical exporters of blonde, Scandinavian ice queens — has finally launched a "f&*# you" campaign against the mannequin industry standard, which apparently values female mannequins that are often designed to be six inches taller and six inches smaller than the average woman, according to the Chicago Tribune. Basically, clothes made only for this Ukrainian woman, who went through an insane amount of plastic surgery to become the first "real-life Barbie" (click on her photo to read more)





The store only has two of the normal mannequins right now, who are sporting some classy lingerie. Photos of the mannequins have gone viral, and to absolutely nobody's surprise, women across the world have become pretty smitten with the concept of seeing models in clothes that don't look radically different from themselves.

It's actually pretty genius, from a marketing standpoint: Aside from making a super-powerful social statement, it seems likely their sales will probably skyrocket — how many times, after all, have you seen something looking fabulous on a mannequin and tried it on yourself, only to look in the mirror with horror and disgust?

Let's compare. On the left, two Victoria's Secret mannequins. On the right, the lady from the Swedish department store