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The Morning After
 
by Danny Cross 03.01.2013
Posted In: Life, LGBT, TV/Celebrity, Culture, technology, Shopping at 09:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (23)
 
 
kindle

Did I Just See a Gay Kindle Commercial?

Last night around 9:30 I was just minding my own business, watching some harmless comedy shows on demand when a commercial came on that piqued my interest via a typically dumb interaction between a dude talking to a babe in a bikini. I was waiting for some type of cliché to end the interaction between the two — something like a beer-commercial crotch shot or the woman doing something weird like licking an ice cube — when the story took a most-surprising turn: the dude in the scene was gay. 

The woman sits down on a beach chair next to the guy, who is squinting into his iPad-looking device like a dork. She starts reading her Kindle like the sun is no big deal and he says: "That's a Kindle, right?"

Woman: "Yeah, it's the new Kindle Paperwhite."

Man: "I love to read at the beach, but..."

Woman: "This is perfect at the beach. And, with the built in light, I can read anywhere anytime."

Man: "Done."

Woman: "With your book?"

Man: Nope. "I just bought a Kindle Paperwhite." *Leans toward her.* "We should celebrate."

Woman: "My husband's bringing me a drink right now."

Man: "So is mine."

Husbands waive from the bar.

I watched it again this morning (the email I sent myself on the subject after having several beers and talking about sports all evening only says: “Gay kindle commercial. What does that commercial mean?”), and it’s actually pretty genius. Gay-rights groups have pointed out that this type of media is following steps taken by shows like Ellen and Modern Family, which depict gay couples as pretty much ordinary anymore. 

Check it out here: 

Naturally, some people on the Internet think it’s way icky. 

And organizations like One Million Moms (a weird, conservative Christian group that should be named something more like “One Million Mean Moms.” Ha.) took exception to it. OMMMs wrote this: “We have Amazon's Kindle Paperwhite commercial that promotes gay marriage. Instead of Amazon remaining neutral in the culture war while showcasing how their product has no glare even at the beach, they chose to promote sin.”

People flagged the ad as inappropriate enough times on YouTube that it was briefly taken down for review, but it was posted back on the site later. 

 
 
by Danny Cross 02.22.2012
Posted In: Is this for real?, Life, Culture at 02:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
 
 
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Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill Now Open

Banks restaurant/concert space offers live music, Whiskey Girls, touch of xenophobia

Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill this week became The Banks’ newest tenant, opening its red, white and blue doors and offering “family friendly” lunch and dinner, ongoing live performances and a guitar-shaped bar where patrons can drink beer out of Mason jars.

The official website says its family friendliness makes it “the perfect spot for everyone,” though it is assumed to have instituted some kind of protocol for children who accidentally view one of the “Whiskey Girls” the restaurant prides itself on offering (“Don’t close your eyes, Billy! It’s just the American way!”).

There currently aren’t many online reviews of the restaurant, but at least one proud American has braved the giant, Country music-themed complex and come away with an experience worth mentioning on Metromix’s online listing.

User “couintrymusiccincy” (sic) was disappointed by his experience, describing a waitress that had a bad attitude and thought she was so cute she should be Miss Universe. “Couintrymusiccincy” advised the restaurant to fire her, and noted that he would return if managers hire “pretty and legitimate waitresses” like the Las Vegas and Tulsa, Ok., locations do.


In addition to the Whiskey Girls, who apparently are allegedly “more worried about their reflection than about getting an order right” (classic Couintrymusiccincy complaint), the bar/grill/stage/conference plaza offers American and Southern cuisine such as friend bologna sandwiches and pan-fried ribs. Burger names include the “American Soldier” (Toby’s classic burger with cheese), “She’s a Hottie Burger” (melted pepperjack cheese, Hatch Valley Chiles and crispy onion straws) and “Should’ve Been a Cowboy” (Bacon, cheddar and Toby’s BBQ sauce topped with crispy onion rings). Dessert offerings include deep-fried Twinkies, “All American Apple Pie” and "Saddam's Head Pudding" (just kidding).

The décor relies heavily on a “Country cliché” aesthetic to ensure that guests don’t forget they’re in a bar owned by the guy whose artistic response to the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2011 was to write a song titled “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American),” which called upon the wrath of Uncle Sam, a personified Statue of Liberty and an eagle (flying, of course) to serve justice to goddam terrorists across the globe. The chorus is enough to make even the most cowardly among us raise a Mason jar in defiance.

“Ohhh Justice will be served, and the battle will rage/This big dog will fight, when you rattle his cage/And you'll be sorry that you messed with the U.S. of A./'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American Way.”

It’s enough to bring a tear to one’s eye and cause a man to mistake his fellow American brother with one of the Whiskey Girls and tie on a big, patriotic hug (“Sorry man, I ain’t gay I just love this song and my country and when Middle Eastern people get killed." *Sniffs*).

For those interested in more information or to see the many other creative names TKILB&G has come up with for typical bar food, the official website is www.countrybaroh.com. For scary homemade videos set to “Angry American” just search YouTube. 

 
 
by Austen Verrilli 08.26.2011
Posted In: Culture, Events at 04:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
 
 

The Bill Goodman Gun Show from a Fly on the Wall

Author's note: Let me preface this article by saying that my position on guns teeters along with current events. The recent struggle between a Cincinnati Police Officer and a misguided teen that resulted in the boy’s death is the perfect example of why gun ownership can never be taken lightly. The fact is guns were built as a tool for killing. That said, I believe that most gun owners understand the power of the gun they hold in their hands and do not take it lightly. People should certainly be allowed to own guns but they must understand each weapon's deadly potential.

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by Jac Kern 07.29.2011
Posted In: Northside, Life, Animals, TV/Celebrity, Fashion, Culture, DIY at 01:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 

Feather Hair Extensions: Not Animal-Friendly

Feather hair extensions are one of the trendiest fashion accessories right now (I say this knowing that Cincy's always a little behind the times on all things stylish). Celebrities from Ke$ha to Steven Tyler to Roseanne Barr have been rockin' the look, which may sound like a deterrent, but now these birdy little weaves are everywhere. Even on dogs.

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by Hannah McCartney 11.13.2013
Posted In: Fun, Culture, Humor, Life at 03:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
 
 
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Penis Sighting at Nippert Stadium

There was a 100-yard penis at UC yesterday and nobody told us about it

UPDATED 3:29 P.M. "This definitely puts Nippert Stadium in a hard place."
"He just wanted to stick it to the man."
"Hopefully the dean doesn't blow up in his face." — Staff writer German Lopez

UPDATED 3:28 P.M. "If that prankster doesn't keep it up, he might just get off with a warning." — Hannah McCartney

UPDATED 3:22 P.M. "You didn't say anything about this guy potentially getting caught and getting the shaft
." — Staff writer Ge
rman Lopez

Snow angels are for rookies. And snow penises, evidently, are for University of Cincinnati students.

Somehow the folks at Hypervocal and Uproxx caught wind of this before us because we spent all morning trying to fix our blogging system, but someone took advantage of Monday night's snowfall in a non-traditional way, if by non-traditional you mean drawing a humongous awkwardly and disproportionately-shaped penis on the field at University of Cincinnati's Nippert Stadium.

According to the Hypervocal and Uproxx stories, a UC student took a photo of the public work of art and Tweeted the image, but deleted it later because she felt guilty about it . Of course, by then it was too late, and now it will live down in penis-themed viral web content forever.

I want to make a lot of jokes about this, but Hypervocal and Uproxx have already had a BALL doing that themselves.

Jizz Angle



No word yet if the student has been PENalized.
 
 
by Hannah McCartney 03.29.2013
Posted In: Food, Eats, Culture, Life at 02:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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Eight Local Eating Challenges

Eat a lot of food to find glory, fame, heartburn

If you're looking for your own 15 minutes of fame but find your skill sets are generally limited to things that are superfluous  — or, in this case, possibly self-destructive — your best bet might be to take up one of these local eating challenges (these are the ones we know of — we bet there's a lot more of 'em) so you can achieve glory, superstar status and indigestion — right after you unbuckle your pants.

Everybody knows Cincinnati is obsessed with food, probably because there's a lot of it around here. Good food, that is. Whether you want to show off, naturally induce hibernation, experience a lifetime's worth of a particular dish in one sitting or just want a good story to tell, there are plenty of opportunities to make it happen with eating challenges around the city.

We’ve only added the ones we were able to confirm with the restaurant, but if you're dead-set on checking one of these out, it's probably a good idea to call ahead and make sure it's not a periodical offering. Be sure to let us know where we missed in the comments!

1) Ramundo's Pizza  (Mount Lookout)
Two people split a 26-inch pizza with extra cheese and two toppings, with 10 minutes to devour the whole thing. It's an investment — the pizza costs $35 — but you get it (and heartburn) for free if you finish.

2) Blue Ash Chili (Blue Ash) – "No Freakin' Way Challenge": One person + 2.5 lbs. spaghetti + 2.5 lbs. chili. + 2.5 lbs. cheese + 1 lb. jalapenos + 60 minutes + $40 = the most extravagant and gut-busting possible way to prove your obsession with our city's trademark dish, Cincinnati chili. If you finish, it's free and you'll get a spot on the Hall of Fame plus a T-shirt. Losers go on the Hall of Shame, but you'll still get a tee for free.

3) Raniero’s Pizza  (Cold Springs, Ky.) – Two people have 10 minutes to devour a 24-inch pizza, and each is allowed one 20 oz. cup of water. Beat the clock and get the pizza for free; beat the record and get a T-shirt, too.

4) Mecklenburg Gardens (Corryville) – The “Uber Terminator Challenge”: One person has an hour to put down a 3-foot long spicy mettwurst sausage on a hoagie bun, covered with peppers and sauerkraut. It’s $25, and free if you make it. You get a free T-shirt either way.

5) Padrino’s  (Milford)– Four pounds of spaghetti and meatballs + you + 45 minutes. If you make it, it’s free; if not, $30.

6) Izzy’s (multiple locations)
“110 Reuben Challenge”:  Of course, made famous a la Man v. Food: a super-sized potato pancake, more than 1 lb. of corned beef, a heap of sauerkraut, dressing and cheese, all inside a big loaf of poppyseed bread. You have 30 minutes to eat this monstrosity — it’s $19.99 — and if you make it, you’ll get it fo’ free plus a T-shirt and a photo on the Izzy’s wall of shame fame.

7) Guiseppe’s Pizza (Covington)  “Legend of the Drunken Fireman”: Just you and a 20-inch, 20-topping, 7-lb. pizza plus 59 minutes. If you lose, it’ll set you back $50; if you make it, you’ll get it free plus a T-shirt.

8) Bard’s Burgers  (Covington) – Two different challenges here: Go big with the Bardzilla — a burger with 10 1/3-lb. beef patties, 10 pieces of cheese, 2 lbs. of French fries and a 16 oz. milkshake (close to 7 lbs. of food). Free if you make it through in 45 minutes or less, $30 if not. Or, for the more timid, there’s the “Little Zilla” — beat the customer record to chow down one of two triple-stacked specialty burgers — the Kitchen Sink or the Widow Maker (eek) — plus an order of large fries and a milkshake, for a free meal
 
 
by Jac Kern 06.16.2011
Posted In: BABIES, Culture, Life at 01:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 

Cincinnati's Next Top Baby

The Cincinnati Health Department recently released a list of the most popular baby names of 2010. We live in Cincinnati, so there's enough average people to balance out all the Braidans and Jakilynns (read: smooshing two names together or purposely misspelling a name isn't being creative, folks) which means there aren't any big surprises on this list. It just means that in 2020, fourth grade classes everywhere will have Ava S., Ava B. and Ava M. instead of Ashley R., Ashley T. and Ashley O. like when I was a kid.

Besides being mildly interesting, what's the point of a list like this? To point out the least creative parents in the city? To give really dumb preggo people a basis for naming their offspring? Either way, If you're walking around and you hear a little human crying, its name is probably…

WILLIAM

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The most popular name for baby boys in Cincinnati was a pretty classic one. If names dictate a person's life, these little dudes will grow up to have giant teeth, front a really shitty Hip Hop group or be a general badass sax player:

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Or, if that screaming spawn is wearing pink...

OLIVIA

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Olivia, the #1 baby girl name in Cincinnati, is alright. According to my research (15 seconds on Google), there are a lot of hot hoes by the name, but Olivia Newton John (pre-scary face) is the best of them all. Hopefully these babies will take after her, with a penchant for headbands and first words being "Xanadu."

On their own, the second place names appear to be perfectly normal. Who could have anything mean to say about...

JACOB AND ISABELLA

Jacob_saving_Bella_calendar_twil_1.jpg

That's right, fucking Twilight. I can only assume that the increasing amount of teen moms out there are contributing to this fuckery (Thanks a lot, MTV!). There once was a time when I heard the name Jacob and immediately thought of the most perfect man of my John Hughes-inspired dreams...

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Jake Ryan.

Isabella is a cute name, too. It has the potential of many 'breves. Izzy. Ella. Sabel? I don't know, but when little Isabella and tiny Jacob have their first kiss on the playground, "Twihards" around the world will feel a sense of glorious satisfaction that I just can't deal with.

The rest of the names are pretty uninteresting, so here's a quick list complete with what people (myself and Google) will probably associate with them:

NOAH

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Obviously because the nearby Creation Museum is building a to-scale (WHAT SCALE?) ark

AVA

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Would still be cool if it wasn't on this list

MICHAEL

young_michael_jackson.jpg

Never forget.

EMMA

emma_watson.jpg

Hermione Granger

ETHAN

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Boring interior design


SOPHIA

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My arch-enemy. Stereotypes are hilarious!

BENJAMIN

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All about the Benjamin...Buttons

MADISON

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Holly Madison, Dolly Madison - They're both full of fake stuff, but probably preserved for all of time.

Go here to read more boring names.


 
 
by Michela Tindera 07.26.2011
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Fashion, Culture at 09:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
 
 

Queen City TV Show Disappoints, Is Boring

It was Sunday night and television options resembled that of The Banks project for the past 10 years — barren and dull. I was clearly in need of some entertainment. So, like 7,389* other people in the area, I tuned into Fox 19's premiere of Queen City.

I was hooked as soon as the intro song came on — excited to see what shenanigans the four “queens,” Adhrucia, Lauren, Tracey and Katie, would encounter in this local take on the Real Housewives series.

Luckily I didn’t hold my breath for too long.

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by Jac Kern 04.19.2011
Posted In: Travel, Music, Fun, Culture, Concerts, Reviews at 05:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 

48 Hours In Nashville: Part One

I spent a recent weekend in Music City attending Rites of Spring, an annual music festival presented by Vanderbilt University. My boyfriend Jeff and I were on a mission — a mission to cram in as much Nashville goodness as possible in a short weekend.

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by Martin Brennan 02.07.2012
Posted In: Animals, Culture at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
 
 
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Pit Bulls in Cincinnati

Not all dogs are treated the same

Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I’m an avid dog-lover. I’ve owned dogs from the time I was a young teen, and I’ve loved every moment of it. There’s something about our canine companions that just warms my heart. Their wagging tails, their wet noses, the way they’re always happy to see you when you come home ... I just love them.

Unfortunately, it seems like not all people in this world share the same passion for dogs that I do. Hundreds upon thousands of dogs are abandoned each year and end up either dead or in shelters, and many more suffer at the hands of neglectful or abusive owners. Fortunately, we have organizations such as the SPCA around to speak out and help these animals. However, it’s recently come to my attention that not all shelters treat certain breeds of dogs the same.

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