Serena was in town competing in the Western & Southern Open; Drake came to watch. The two celebrated Serena’s finals win with dinner at Sotto downtown and, apparently, a little mouth-on-mouth action. Drake also supported Serena at Wimbledon earlier this summer. NORMAL.
The brothers Hanson, the objects of my adolescent affection after my JTT phase ended, are now in the beer business. The still-dreamy-to-me trio of Zac, Isaac and Taylor have produced a pale ale appropriately called Mmmhops. It’s not available in Ohio, but you should be able to buy some online next month.
If you’re still following
the Fat Jew on Instagram or Twitter, here are some reasons why you should
consider cutting that shit off.
Play Cincinnati I-Spy as you watch the trailer for Carol:
I spotted Maury’s Tiny Cove (the restaurant in the very first scene) and various Downtown streets, and those Christmas shop scenes were filmed in Eden Park. The movie is expected to be released Nov. 20.
Do you ever wake up in the
middle of the night with pressing questions, like “What ever happened to
Rayanne from My So-Called Life?”
Well, don’t worry, because A.J. Langer is doing fine — much better than how her
iconic ‘90s character probably would have fared (All that sex! Drugs! Wild
hair!). In fact, she’s a damn countess. Step aside, LuAnn.
A.J. met British Lord
Charles Courtenay in 2002 and they married in 2005. They have two kids. Real-life
Rayanne swapped her title of a Lady for that of a Countess when Charles’ father
passed away last week, making her husband an Earl. In other words, boring,
boring, boring, Rayanne now has a castle. The title includes a 14th-century
estate in Exeter, England. Get it, Rayanne!
Wanna attend the Gloss book release party that Marc
Jacobs is hosting next month during New York Fashion Week? Well, first you have
to be fabulous enough to get an invite — but that’s not all. The invite features
a lengthy, descriptive dress code that includes "fur coats over lingerie," "Grace
Jones butch realness," "riding in on a white horse" (literally?) and sequins —
three times. Read
my wedding dress code the full description here.
Highly specific talent: This woman sounds exactly like Beyoncé. If Beyoncé did commercial voiceovers.
Rumors about a Sons of Anarchy spinoff were circulating before the seven-season show even concluded last year. The idea was a prequel focusing on SAMCRO’s origins with Jax’s dad John Teller and the rest of the Redwood Original. But FX is instead moving forward with a spinoff about the Mayans, a rival motorcycle club.
If you can’t wait for another Kurt Sutter series, tune into The Bastard Executioner, premiering on FX Sept. 15. The medieval war drama stars Sons’ Gemma (Katey Sagal, Sutter’s wife), True Blood’s Bill (Stephen Moyer) and, naturally, the multihyphenate Sutter as a prosthetic-covered character called “The Dark Mute.”
And speaking of spinoffs, Fear the Walking Dead, a companion series to the similarly-titled The Walking Dead, is now on AMC. See this week’s TV column to read more about the new series and other shows to watch this week.If you find yourself in the Chicago area and need a new gig, this Craigslist gem is searching for a tour assistant for a cat circus. MUST LOVE CATS!
The big news this week: True love is dead. As we know, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner confirmed their separation earlier this summer after months (years?) of speculation. Similar rumors have circulated around Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith lately, probably because they’re always talking about how hot their marriage is like a couple of desperate stunt-queens. Despite a recent report confirming their divorce, the couple is denying it. But wait — there’s more. Another famous music couple actually confirmed their split: Reba McIntyre and husband of 26 years (and manager — did that make him Reba’s manager?) Narvel Blackstock. This comes weeks after more contemporary Country couple Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert addressed their breakup. I know, I know — all Hollywood couples are destined for doom — but nothing could prepare me for the news of the leaders of the First Family of Cool, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, divorcing. TRAGEDY! Clearly there’s a national emergency, because freaking Miss Piggy and Kermit have added their names to the R.I.P. True Love list. I thought summer was the season for love.
File under This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: HitchBot. Some good-natured Canadian scientists created a good-natured hitchhiking, talking robot that could get rides from good-natured Canadian humans from Nova Scotia to British Columbia (basically, across the entire good-natured country). Anyone could pick up the bot and take it closer to his destination, documenting their travels along the way. HitchBot made it to Victoria, B.C., safe and sound — success! HitchBot later ‘hiked its way through Germany and the Netherlands before embarking on its first stateside voyage.
Naturally, we had to ruin
everything. On July 17, HitchBot started in Salem, Mass., with a destination of
San Francisco. It made it to Philly on Aug. 1 before being busted up by some
evil Americans. The scientists, being the good-natured Canadians they are,
aren’t taking it personally. BustedBot is coming home for repairs before making
another American excursion — starting in Philly — sometime next year. Oh,
Jumanji is getting a reboot next year, so I guess I might just bury myself underground for a while. Nothing is sacred. Here’s some more Sony Pictures flicks coming in ’16 and ’17.
And I guess while we’re being emotional, here’s audio of Chris Farley as Shrek — the late comedian was the original voice actor for the role; he died shortly before the film was finished and Mike Myers took over the iconic role (and clearly changed the character with his boisterous Fat Bastard-esque take on Shrek’s vocals). You may need to squeeze onto the donkey in your life as you listen.
Jesse Pinkman’s house is for sale.
Will Ferrell is working on a Funny Or Die comedy special for HBO called Ferrell Takes the Field, which follows the funnyman as he takes on 10 different positions for 10 different MLB teams in five games. This all went down March and somehow I missed that shit, because apparently Will played for the Reds against the Diamondbacks for the special during spring training. Ferrell Takes the Field premieres on Sept. 12.
And to end on the happiest of notes, here’s dream-BFFs Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence fucking jet-skiing together like a couple of babes. #squadgoals
Contrary to earlier reports, the Wet Hot prequel series premieres this week. Tune in to discover what Coop, Katie, Andy, Beth, Gene and the rest of the Camp Firewood crew were up to before that final day of camp depicted in the 2001 original flick. Premieres on Netflix.
To some people, “bad tattoo” is redundant (“You’re just so beautiful as you are,” cry moms everywhere). But tats like poorly translated Chinese script, eerie portraits fumbled by an apprentice, or straight-up misspelled words are in a league of their own. Everyone’s personal Hollywood BFF Jennifer Lawrence is so normal and down-to-earth, she got herself some erroneous permanent ink. JLaw says she got inked when out with Hunger Games co-star Liam Hemsworth’s family, who were all getting tattoos (you know those Hemsworths, always throwing family tattoo gatherings!). She picked “the color of a scar” (ew, why) and selected the molecular formula for water (you know, H2O) to remember to always stay hydrated. JLaw might have gone the practical route with her reasoning, but that shit is incorrect — it appears as "H2O" on her hand. Even lovable multi-millionaire Oscar-nominees get erroneous tats! Oh, JLaw. You’re just like us!
Miss Piggy performing Rihanna’s “BBHMM” is almost as perfect as the original.
Because of course Miss Piggy is a scheming diva!
Disney animated classic Aladdin is getting the live-action treatment with a prequel about a genie trapped in a lamp. It will be interesting to see the casting (Hollywood has a long history of white-washing characters), but as long as our real-life Aladdin doesn’t look like Steve from Full House, we should be good.
(Via BuzzFeed’s 19 Things You Might Not Know About “Aladdin”)
Apparently there are “leaked” grocery lists that supposedly belong to Britney Spears. (I love that we're referring to someone's kitchen trash contents as leaked documents.) We all know Brit loves her Starbucks and Velveeta, and according to these documents (i.e. girl handwriting on napkins and paper scraps that went for $60 on eBay), she also enjoys cereal, pop, "ham deli" and using the word “baby” in place of “little.” Discuss amongst yourselves.
Is it weird that whenever I discover a new hero, it’s almost always a little girl with killer dance moves? Don’t answer, just watch.
Researchers at Oregon State University have developed a new strain of seaweed that looks and tastes like bacon, which sounds like an event predicted by an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. Kelp is the new kale!
Garrison Keillor’s magical voice will stop comforting people’s earholes soon — the longtime public radio staple is stepping down from hosting A Prairie Home Companion next year.
FX’s Fargo, which follows an anthology format, is coming back for a new season with a cast of new characters this October. The season takes place in 1979 South Dakota and Minnesota and stars Patrick Wilson, Ted Danson, Jesse Plemons, Nick Offerman, Jean Smart, Kirsten Dunst, Bokeem Woodbine, Cristin Milioti, Brad Garrett, Kieran Culkin and Bruce Campbell. Check out the trailer here.
James Franco is coming to Cincinnati two shoot not one but two films this May. The actor/filmmaker, who will always be Daniel Desario to me, will be working on two movies simultaneously: Goat, a frat hazing film based on the memoir King Kelly by Brad Land, and The Long Home, about bootlegger Dallas Harden, adapted from William Gay’s novel of the same name. Franco is on to produce Goat, which stars Nick Jonas and Ben Schnetzer; he’ll produce and direct The Long Home. The latter film’s cast has not been announced yet, but a recent Facebook post by Franco mentioned the movie along with Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games series, Union, Ky., native), Timothy Hutton (a bunch of TV dramas I've never seen + Ordinary People), Keegan Allen (not to be confused with Andrew Keegan), Ashley Green (all the Twilights), Tim Blake Nelson (O Brother, Where Art Thou?), Jim Parrack (True Blood) and Scott Haze (lots o' Franco flicks). Let’s ponder while looking at a topless Franco:
In a Salon article about HBO's Silicon Valley that called out the show’s “woman problem,” the writer mistakenly reported that Silicon’s Kumail Nanjiani is the same person as Big Bang Theory’s Kunal Nayyar. OOF.
The Full House sequel show you’ve been wishing for is finally coming, and the cherry on top of this nostalgic cake has to be the fact that Kimmy Gibbler will return! Fuller House is set to premiere on Netflix sometime next year and will focus on D.J. (Candace Cameron-Bure), Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin) and Kimmy (Andrea Barber). Adult D.J. is a vet, she has two boys and is pregnant with another, and the show picks up with her being recently widowed (R.I.P. Steve?!). Aspiring musician Stephanie moves in along with single mom Kimmy and her teenage daughter. It sounds like a pretty fucked up plot until you realize it is exactly the same as the original, but with ladies. Remake ALL THE THINGS with ALL THE LADIES!
John Stamos is producing and will pop in from time to time as Uncle Jesse, but the rest of the original cast is still up in the air. This could be a big pile of awful, but one thing gives me hope: Stephanie is still pursuing her entertaining dreams!
A masked hero in the UK is
going around spray painting penises around potholes to try to get them filled
faster. Best part: they’re going by the name Wanksy.
Inside Amy Schumer’s third season just started, and already there have been some epic musical moments. She pays tribute to the It Girl of body parts, the butt — watch out, eyebrows are comin’ for that title — in “Milk Milk Lemonade” and gives One Direction a realistic makeover with “Girl, You Don’t Need Makeup.”
David Ayer revealed Jared
Leto’s Joker look for the upcoming Suicide
Squad movie. Let the mockery begin!
Cecily Strong hosted “nerd prom,” which is the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and not Comic-Con. See the SNL star’s full speech here.
Obama addressed the crowd beforehand and, thankfully, Luther the anger translator was on hand.
Apparently any time more than two stars of a past TV show/movie are in the same room, that constitutes a reunion. So I guess there was a Lizzie McGuire “reunion” with Hilary Duff, Lalaine (Miranda) and Jake Thomas (Lizzie’s little brother whose name I can’t remember and won’t look up). Considering Gordo, Lenny and animated Lizzie weren’t there, this is truly a weak reunion. Sorry. Read more in this TIME article (seriously).
If you need a massive dose of Beyoncé in a short amount of time:
See Classical music through a new lens at THE CONSTELLA FESTIVAL
An ambitious initiative, Constella was conceived as an arts showcase featuring the best in international and local performers. This year’s festival is no less ambitious, but it’s considerably scaled back from the sprawling array of choices that in the past have potentially overwhelmed potential audiences. Originally scheduled throughout October and November, performances are now within a 12-day period in April. It’s still a packed schedule with five events each week, featuring violinist Hilary Hahn, pianist Simon Trpceski, other established European performers making Cincinnati debuts, Cincinnati performers and artists, and a film premiere. Performances are at downtown locations accessible by public transportation and tickets can be purchased from one source. Get more information and buy tickets here.
Get sloppy at ZINES, SCREENS & SCREAMS DIY music fest
The Zines, Screens & Screams Fest, a celebration of DIY music and culture, comes to Main Street in Over-the-Rhine this weekend for the first edition of what organizers hope to make an annual event. The festival starts Friday at 5 p.m. and Saturday at noon and will be centered around two main locations: Maudie’s (maudieslive.com) and Cincy By the Slice (cincybytheslice.com), which are both located at 1207 Main St. in OTR; and The Drinkery (1150 Main St., Over-the-Rhine, drinkeryotr.com). The Drinkery (which will only be participating in the music portion of the fest Friday night) is open to those 21-and-up only; all other events are open to all ages. The festival features a slew of local bands as well as some national touring acts that play Rock, Punk, Post Punk, Experimental, Metal and other Indie-oriented genres. It’s a great chance to catch some local musicians that don’t often get a ton of attention outside the DIY scene. Read more here.
Hang out at the Southgate House Revival with CHUCK PROPHET & THE MISSION EXPRESS
San Francisco singer/songwriter Chuck Prophet’s illustrious career began in earnest when he joined the influential and critically acclaimed Roots Rock band Green on Red right after high school. Since then, similar acclaim for his solo work has never slowed; he has released more than a dozen albums since 1990 that have carried the torch of Green on Red’s slanted Alt Roots Rock, taking it even further. Also a prolific collaborator, Prophet has worked with everyone from Warren Zevon and Solomon Burke to Alejandro Escovedo and Cake. Prophet is currently touring with his band The Mission Express behind his most recent full-length, Night Surfer, which came out last year on Yep Roc and features contributions from R.E.M.’s Peter Buck and others. (Visit the music page at citybeat.com to read our feature story on Prophet.) 8:30 p.m. Friday. $15; $18 day of show. Southgate House Revival, 111 E. Sixth St., Newport, Ky., southgatehouse.com.
Brings your leftover yarn to the BRAZEE STREET STUDIOS ART SUPPLY SWAP
If one artist’s junk is another artist’s treasure, then Friday’s art supply swap at Brazee Street Studios might be a gold mine of fodder for artistic creation. An informal exchange of materials, guests are asked to bring any two items to donate — paint, markers, pencils, rhinestones, charcoal, paper, canvas, yarn, sequins, etc. — and they can take as much as they like home. Drop-off begins at 9:30 a.m. and leftover items will be donated to Crayons2Computers, a local organization that gives school and art supplies to children in need. 9:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. Free. Brazee Street Studios’ parking lot, 4426 Brazee St., Oakley, brazeestreetstudios.com. If you can actually knit and want to keep the yarn (or take someone else's home), Hospice of Southwest Ohio is currently accepting slipper donations for patients.
Take your time at SLOW ART DAY
Slow Art Day is one of the best ideas to reach art museums ever — a break from the rush-rush hubbub of trying to see everything. Visitors concentrate on just looking, really looking, at a few pieces and then discuss them with others. Saturday, the Taft Museum of Art, Cincinnati Art Museum and Pyramid Hill Sculpture Park & Museum are participating in the international event. At the Taft starting at 11:15 a.m., docents will help visitors look slowly at five pieces of art. Participants then have a separately-sold lunch at the Taft cafe. (RSVP to 513-684-4515.) At the art museum at noon, an hour-long guided tour starts; participants will visit works by Felix Gonzalez-Torres, Bernardino Mei, John Francis and Donald Judd. Afterward, there will be a discussion. (Reserve space at cincinnatiartmuseum.org.) Also at the Cincinnati Art Museum is the new Andy Warhol exhibit, Up at Bat: Warhol and Baseball, featuring the CAM's classic Pop Art Pete Rose and more from America's favorite pastime. And at Hamilton’s Pyramid Hill, visitors meet to begin looking at five pieces of art at 10 a.m., followed by discussion. They can bring a brown-bag lunch. Admission to Pyramid hill is $8 for adults; $3 for 12 and younger. (RSVP to 513-868-8336.)
As the birthplace of the first professional baseball team, as well as the creation of the World Series and the location of the National League and American League merger, Cincinnati has a long history of incredible on- and off-field moments. American Legacy Tours digs deeper into the city’s baseball past with The 1919 Tour. In conjunction with the Reds Hall of Fame & Museum, the tour focuses on events and activities surrounding the controversial 1919 World Series, which pitted the Reds against the Chicago White Sox and is associated with the “Black Sox” gambling scandal. The walking tour visits locations where the scandal unfolded and examines the cast of characters involved in the infamous event. 10:30 a.m. Saturdays. Through October. $20. Leaves from Fountain Square, Fifth and Vine streets, Downtown, americanlegacytours.com.
Eat a whole bunch of haggis at TARTAN DAY SPRING CEILIDH
The Cincinnati Caledonian Pipes & Drums, a local nonprofit that aims to preserve and promote Scottish heritage, hosts their annual spring party. The Celtic bash will feature music from the likes of the Blue Rock Boys, Ceol Mhor and Riley Gaelic Singers, and performances from the McGing Irish Dancers and Cincinnati Highland Dancers. Themed food will be provided by Brazenhead Pub, with a scotch tasting, Scottish beer sampling, haggis-eating contest, tea room and more. 6-10 p.m. Saturday. $15; food and drink sold separately. The Center, 115 E. Fifth St., Mercantile Building, Downtown, cincypipesanddrums.org.
Dance all night at BALLET A GO GO
Inspired by the world famous Whisky A Go Go in Los Angeles and New York’s Peppermint Lounge discotheque, Ballet A Go Go is one hot dance party. Celebrating the fifth anniversary of the ballet’s Club B, each room of the Cincinnati Ballet Center will transform into a trendy ’60s nightclub for an evening of Mod fashion, music and, of course, go-go dancing. Cocktails and dinner precede era-inspired music and dessert; tickets include an open bar. The dress code is funky Mod attire. 6:30 p.m. Saturday. Tickets start at $150. 1555 Central Parkway, Downtown, cballet.org/events.
Get metaphysical at the VICTORY OF LIGHT EXPO
Established in 1992, the Victory of Light Expo showcases the world of the intuitive arts and psychic sciences. The festival provides a venue for spiritual teachers, readers, healers and vendors from around the country to share their philosophies and teach free seminars on topics including the shamanic anatomy of the soul, manifesting your desires and how to communicate with your guides, angels and loved ones who have passed over. After the seminars, enjoy shopping, featured artists and music from award winning Native American flute player Douglas Blue Feather, Lighthawk and crystal and Tibetan singing bowl artist Ron Esposito. 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. $15 single day; $25 weekend. Sharonville Convention Center, 11355 Chester Road, Sharonville, victoryoflight.com.
Celebrate the semi-return of Magnolia Mountain with MARK UTLEY's solo release show
Prolific singer/songwriter Mark Utley has released a single album’s worth of songs. And that’s all. Bulletville, Utley’s excellent sophomore solo album, is not a double-set on a single CD or accompanied by a new release from his band Magnolia Mountain or another musical vessel for the songs that pour endlessly from his head, heart and hands. Is this Utley’s version of writer’s block? Last year, Magnolia Mountain, Utley’s Blues/Roots Rock vehicle, was collapsing while Bulletville, Utley’s traditional Country side project with Magnolia Mountain’s Renee Frye and Jeff Vanover, was thriving. With Magnolia Mountain sidelined, Utley’s creative vacuum was quickly filled by Bulletville. His Country project’s profile rose exponentially with each new gig, naturally leading to more songs and ultimately the recording of Bulletville, produced, like every Magnolia Mountain album to date, by Afghan Whigs bassist John Curley. The difference this time is that Bulletville was largely recorded live in the studio. Mark Utley and Bulletville celebrate their new album release Saturday at MOTR Pub. More info: motrpub.com. Click here for details on Bulletville and all of Utley's projects.
See baby lion cubs at ZOO BLOOMS
The Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden’s annual floral exhibit, Zoo Blooms, features daffodils, hyacinths, flowering trees and one of the largest displays of tulips in the Midwest. Also on view, the zoo's three new lion cubs. Follow them on twitter @cincyzoolion. $18 adults; $12 children; $9 parking. 3400 Vine St., Avondale, cincinnatizoo.org.
Enjoy a matinee of THE TAMING OF THE SHREW
If you’ve ever seen The Taming of the Shrew, you might remember it as the tale of an ill-tempered woman brought into line by an abusive, gold-digging suitor. In that simple summary, Shakespeare’s early comedy understandably doesn’t sit well with most modern audiences. But contemporary presenters of the show have a variety options to make it more palatable. In its current staging at Cincinnati Shakespeare Company, guest director Kevin Hammond has utilized more than one of them. Read a full review here. 2 p.m. Sunday. $22-$32.Cincinnati Shakespeare Company, 719 Race St., Downtown, cincyshakes.com.
Feel a little hazy and lo-fi with COLLEEN GREEN and Leggy at the Woodward
Colleen Green’s third full-length (and first album recorded in an actual recording studio) is titled I Want to Grow Up, which is no coincidence. Well, that is if you equate a glossier sound and trying to kick coffee and weed as growing up. For I Want to Grow Up, Green hooked up with friends Jake Orrall (JEFF The Brotherhood) and Casey Weissbuch (Diarrhea Planet) in a Nashville, Tenn., studio to crank out 10 songs with titles like “TV” and “Pay Attention,” deceptively simple tunes that recall a cross between early Donnas and the bummed-out laments of Juliana Hatfield. Colleen Green plays Woodward Theater on Sunday. Tickets/more info here.
Grab a drink and an underground tour at TOAST TO THE TUNNELS
Back by popular demand, Toast to the Tunnels takes you on a tour to explore the Christian Moerlein Malt House’s underground barrel vault tunnels, once home to the pre-Prohibition Kauffman Brewing malt house. A quick taste of history will be accompanied by a $10 flight of Moerlein beers in the taproom. Proceeds benefit the Betts House, currently exhibiting Bricks, Barrel Vaults & Beer: The Architectural History of Cincinnati Breweries. 2-5 p.m. Sunday. Christian Moerlein Malt House, 1621 Moore St., Over-the-Rhine, facebook.com/thebettshouse.
Watch GAME OF THRONES
As many know, Game of Thrones (Season Premiere, 9 p.m. Sunday, HBO) is based on author George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire book series. But what happens when the show’s progression surpasses that of the source material? Debuting this week, Season Five will cover the series’ fourth and fifth novels; by the time the finale airs, the show will be “off the books.” This means those who watch will have a leg up on those who read (nerds!). If you ever had a friend threaten to spoil the show with their literary knowledge, the tables have finally turned. Martin met with the show’s creators to guide them through the future of Game of Thrones — both versions will end with the same basic pieces in place — but fans can expect future seasons to diverge from the forthcoming novels. In Sunday’s premiere, Cersei and Jaime mourn their father’s death and adapt to life without his direction. At least they have each oth… Ew, nevermind. Tyrion is in hiding in Pentos with Varys, Jon’s loyalty is pulled between Night’s Watch and Stannis, and, after locking up two of her babies and banishing Jorah, Daenerys faces more setbacks in Meereen. Two of the most anticipated storylines come with new territory — Dorne and Braavos. Following Oberyn’s crushing defeat, we head to his home turf of Dorne to meet his daughters, the Sand Snakes. Also exciting is the prospect of Arya traveling to Braavos to find Jaqen H’ghar. Valar Morghulis, y’all!
Jon Stewart is stepping
down as host of The Daily Show sometime
later this year, and now we know who will be taking his spot: 31-year-old South
African comedian Trevor Noah. He joined The
Daily Show as a correspondent last December. As to be expected, people
scoured his Twitter feed to
find something to be offended about see a
sampling of his work, but despite some “controversial tweets,”
overall Noah seems to be a great fit for the show. Watch some of his stuff
The Walking Dead fans got their first peek at the series’ spinoff show, recently titled Fear the Walking Dead (yawn), during last week’s super-packed, super-long, intense season finale. While details like these are just now being confirmed, it was revealed that the show will premiere this summer, meaning basically 365 Walking Dead. If the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it trailer is any indication, the series will explore the early days of the zombie outbreak, which is very exciting for fans of the original or just the genre (It’s almost an unwritten rule that zombie media focus on the fallout instead of the cause.) Gone Girl’s Kim Dickens (who also had recent stints on Sons of Anarchy and House of Cards) will star.
Who doesn’t love a good pop culture map? Thrillist compiled all the real locations from Broad City’s second season into one convenient map so you can make like Abbi and Ilana the next time you’re in NYC.
LEGO may soon be making a Golden Girls-inspired toy set complete with Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, Sophia and their iconic kitchen.
On the heels of HBO’s Scientology documentary Going Clear, SNL offered hilarious commentary in the form of a fake 1990s music video for fake religion Neutrology.
This actual Scientology video appears to be the inspiration.
Which is real, which is a parody?
Game of Thrones is coming! Season Five premieres Sunday and by the final episode this
year, the show will be completely “off books,” meaning this is the time to get
your revenge on any Song of Ice and Fire-reading
friends who’ve spoiled anything for you. No one is safe! Check out this week’s television column
for a look at the season plus TV picks for the week (Veep, Silicon Valley and Louie are back, too!). Further reading
to get in the Thrones mood: Jon Snow
as a terrible dinner party guest;
The Gang of Thrones?: Mac and Charlie may be coming to Westeros;
Gay of Thrones — the Funny or Die GOT recap
show I can’t believe I missed out on until today (Thanks, Kenneth!).
If people left parties the same way they quit Facebook:
Looking for a Netflix
offering to binge on/obsess over? Watch Black
Mirror stat. The British mini-series (as in only three episodes per season
— so binge wisely) is like a modern approach to The Twilight Zone, with each episode taking on a different cast and
story loosely based around technology and a not-so-distance dystopian future. Serious mind-blowing stuff.
Speaking of Netflix, 17 new episodes of cult favorite Arrested Development are supposedly on their way to the streaming platform. Start saving those vacation days now!
Also, the Orange Is the New Black Season Three trailer is here:
File this under: Tricks to Make Me Pay Attention to Politics: Rand Paul’s Drag Race.
A terrified-looking local 2-year-old has become something of an Internet sensation over the past week. In a funny photo with a cute story-turned-viral image, Quincy Kroner posed with two friendly looking garbage men in front of their truck (as he held his own mini garbage truck toy).
Pictured: Internet gold.
Dad and Northside resident Ollie Kroner, who’s no stranger to CityBeat, posted the photo on Facebook, saying, “Quincy's been waiting all week to show the garbage men his garbage truck. But, in the moment, he was overwhelmed in the presence of his heroes.” The photo was shared by friends and family, then their friends and so on until the image appeared prominently on Tumblr, Imgur, Awkward Family Photos, Huffington Post and ABC News.
Despite the sudden fame, Quincy continues to live a low-profile, tiny human life. Read more here. (Worth noting is the writer’s choice to drive home the point that “it started with a sticker chart” and to include the comment "Garbage men get swole as hell and are generally the greatest people around.")
Stock footage provider Dissolve created a “faux” TV trailer using only stock video, and it appears only slightly more generic that a CBS fall lineup.
Just in time for Mad Men’s final season premiere, AMC paid tribute to the show with a bench resembling the Don Draper silhouette logo that has become so iconic. The bench — which I really need them to mass-produce — was unveiled in front of the Time-Life building, which Sterling Cooper & Partners has called home in Mad Men universe since Season Four. Jon Hamm was profiled in GQ’s April issue, and the show’s leading man shared some advice given to him from a guy who knows what it’s like to portray an iconic TV character and then, suddenly, not — Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston.
"It's hard, man," Cranston told him. "It's hard to let it go. It'll hit you a couple of different ways at different times."
But before you get depressed thinking about all of Mad Men joining Walter White and the other characters in the big TV set in the sky, there’s still a whole (OK, half) season of Mad Men to obsess and drink over, starting April 5.
Serena Williams made her own 7/11 video a la Beyoncé.
Almost as good as the original and how cute is it when she stops dancing to let that old man walk by? Definitely needed more azz, though.
Goodbye Zuckerberg, hello Luthor! Jesse Eisenberg lost his curly locks to embody his upcoming role as Lex Luthor in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Check out his TRANSFORMATION (he just shaved his head) here.
The cast of Pretty Woman the movie’s 25th anniversary with a reunion on the Today Show. While it has been quite a few years since the last good hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold movie, don’t count on a sequel. They say there will never be a Pretty Woman 2. At least some things are sacred.
With that being said, of course there’s new remake news this week.
Fox announced that David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson will return as Mulder and Scully in the network’s limited-series reboot of The X-Files.
The John Candy classic Uncle Buck is also getting a TV remake. Mike
Epps and Nia Long are set to star in the ABC comedy. (This isn’t the first time
Uncle Buck is getting the TV
treatment — there was a short-lived series of the same name in 1990). Until
then, go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face.
Some movies are getting turned into TV shows while some television series are getting reworked for the big screen. Finally, the Entourage movie trailer is here.
Who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory? Reddit user Euchrid_Eucrow posted an in-depth analysis on the Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” (yes, you’re reading all of this correctly) in the Fan Theories subreddit. S/He argues that that song — an upbeat Pop-Rock earworm full of random bits of early-Millennium pop culture — is about a man who killed his girlfriend and is slowly going mad as he stays in a room with the corpse. Internet!
Here’s Sarah Jessica Parker throwing fifty shades of shade at Tom Hanks at a hockey game.
Forget Resting Bitchface —
Carrie Bradshaw’s got a very active bitchface.
Seeing locals on reality TV combines two of my favorite things: Cincinnati and trashy television. So I was elated to hear that A&E’s Neighbors with Benefits – a new unscripted series following swingers — is set just north in Warren County. The show will document married couples in a suburban neighborhood that have open, extra-marital relationships. The show hasn’t even aired yet (it premieres Sunday, March 22), but it already has reality red flags, as with many A&E shows filmed in Cincinnati (remember Rowhouse Showdown?). While at least one couple on the show is confirmed local, some residents of the Thorton Grove neighborhood near Maineville question the legitimacy of the other couples and shooting location. There’s speculation that a rental home outside Thorton Grove was used to shoot the series after residents complained about associating the neighborhood with a swinger capital. But honestly, if the worst thing about your neighborhood is that people are having sex with each other, isn’t that something to brag about?
Marilyn Manson is all about
his pops these days. He took an unexpected but awesome role on Sons of Anarchy’s final season, saying
he took the role because he watched the show with his father, and now the two are in Paper Magazine.