October 16th, 2008 By Maija Zummo | The Morning After | Posted In: Reviews

I Love Natalie Portman...


Mike Breen just posted a schedule of events on the music blog, so I won't do that here, but the schedule goes something like this: Mark Mallory, The Breeders, speeches, Natalie Portman, The National. I know people are really excited about seeing The National and The Breeders, for free, on a lovely autumn evening. And I know people are really excited about Barack Obama.

But I'm really excited about Natalie Portman.Yes, Natalie Portman. At first I had to ask myself, why is she here? Is she just such an avid Obama supporter that she'll fly to random rallies? Did she have some sort of layover at CVG and had to get out of the airport Max & Erma's? Is she really bored? No. Maybe not. I did some Google research to get to the bottom of this conundrum and I learned that her mother, Shelley, is from Cincinnati. That makes more sense ... especially if Nat Port really likes The National, like most girls do. And we are a swing state.

Another thing that most girls like, besides croony sort of bands, is finding out what beautiful celebrities look like in real life. Sure, with the right lighting and hours of hair and makeup, anyone can look good. I mean you've seen those horrid photos of "celebrities without makeup" in gossip magazines. A majority of them look sub-par, to put it gently. And the paparazzi generally gets shots of these unmade women when they're about to take a bite of their salad or right after they ran like four miles, so that's to be taken into consideration, but still. Women like to compare themselves to other women. That's why that stupid "Celebrities are Just Like Us" thing is so popular in People or Us or whatever it's in. Madonna grocery shops? So do I!

But putting all that nonsense aside, Natalie Portman seems amazing, talented, smart and beautiful. She's a great actress who makes intelligent fashion choices and doesn't make a spectacle of herself. She has sassy hair and great skin. All in all, I take her very seriously as a normal person, which is a feeling I don't have about most celebrities. In general, I think celebrities are gawdy drunk drivers who spend too much money on sunglasses.

I'm looking forward to hearing what Natalie has to say. I feel like Queen Padme Amidala must have come this far to deliver a serious message to our people. And I'm looking forward to seeing what she's wearing. I also want to see how tall she is. I bet she's pretty adorable.


View photos of the event on Fountain Square here.

10.16.2008 at 12:24 Reply
She looks really important in this photo. I wonder what she has in that purse. Try to figure that out tonight too while you're there.


10.16.2008 at 01:01 Reply
Ms. Portman is also speaking at at UC tomorrow (Friday) at 10am to discuss Early Voting and Real Change. Tangeman University Center - Atrium - 2600 Clifton Ave.


10.16.2008 at 03:25 Reply
That “Celebrities Without Makeup” YouTube clip is so wrong. Why ruin the facade for everyone, Maija? (Though Katie Holmes has never looked better.) As for “Nat Port,” she once stepped on my foot at some ridiculously lavish movie after-party. Her impressive, stiletto-heeled shoe left a mark on my black Pumas. “Sorry about that,” she said, her skin glistening as if buffed by a dozen geishas. “I didn’t mean to defile your shoes.” “No problem,” I said, trying not to spill my Heineken. “They probably cost about one-tenth as much as yours.” She laughed and walked over to hug Harvey Weinstein.


10.16.2008 at 04:44 Reply
I bet a million dollars she has some photos of hissing kittens in there.


10.16.2008 at 06:06 Reply
Stop your celebrity worship, it's pathetic. Now the Breeders ... that's quality music.