WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
February 19th, 2014 By Jac Kern | The Morning After | Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Culture

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

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Miley Cyrus kicked off her Bangerz tour in expected fashion: with a mini-Britney, a gigantic phallic hot dog, the return of the infamous foam finger and Miley entering the stage via a giant Miley head, sliding down a giant Miley tongue. Here’s a look at this recent performance of “Party in the USA,” basically a children’s patriotic school play, if said children drank a bathtub full of molly-laced Kool-Aid first.

Side note: This is what U.S. History class will look like in 2064.


We’re more than halfway through the Olympics and the U.S. is currently in third place for medal standings with 23 medals —the most decorated country at this point.

There have been some ups and downs: Superstars Shaun White and Shani Davis failed to attain medals and other U.S. favorites scored much lower than expected. But history was made with Charlie White and Meryl Davis winning the first U.S. gold in Olympic ice dancing; bobsledder Steven Holcomb again broke a 62-year losing streak for the States (he and Steve Langton won bronze in the two-man race, medaling for the first time since 1952; Holcomb in 2010 also led his four-man sled team to the country’s first medal in that event in 62 years); and the U.S. commanded the podium for men’s ski slopestyle as Americans Joss Christensen, Gus Kenworthy and Nick Goepper took home the gold, silver and bronze, respectively.

The best spectacle came on the ice rink, though. Is that any surprise? With music, dancing and sparkly costumes, the other sports just don’t compete when it comes to entertainment. Retired ice princess Johnny Weir hasn’t missed a step with his flawless looks while providing figure skating commentary for NBC — Gawker has been on Weir Watch, documenting his sassiest ensembles and accessories.

Is anyone else kicking themselves for having just discovered Russian skating god Evgeni Plushenko? The highly decorated figure skater embarked on his fourth Olympics in Sochi this year after undergoing surgery on his spine in early 2013. Plush won Russia’s first gold at the games, competing in two team events before kicking off the figure skating short program. Sadly — and right after NBC aired an amazing reel on Plush and his very interesting history — the skater injured himself during practice, just before he was about to compete. Plush withdrew from the event, retiring from his sport effective immediately.

So this kind of thing happens all the time with athletes who push their bodies to the limit. But Plushenko is more than just a talented skater. He was a presence — with “top three in Russian woman” wife — as this now-viral showcase (aka not a competition) performance proves.

And finally we have The Faces of Figure Skating, which pretty much speaks for itself.

This dude is a dead-ringer for David Wain seeing a pair of boobs for the first time.

You know that Crystal Head vodka that comes in a cool glass skull? Well, fun fact, Dan Aykroyd founded the company, and some scientists created a face based on the “skull’s” dimension.

Here’s what it would look like if the Crystal Head was a real guy:

Jimmy Fallon took over The Tonight Show hosting duties Monday and it’s already clear fans of his Late Night jokes, skits and recurring bits can expect just about the same from his new show and time slot. A cavalcade of celebrities welcomed Fallon on Monday, with Lindsay Lohan, Rudy Giuliani, Lady Gaga and other famous New Yorkers paying up as if they lost a bet that he’d never take over Tonight. Fallon’s first guest was Will Smith who, along with Jimmy, schooled us on the Evolution of Hip-Hop Dancing. I also finally discovered that The Roots, when introducing Fallon, aren’t just yelling random numbers (I thought they were area code shout outs?), which became clear when ?uestlove enthusiastically shouted, “One!” at the start of the first show.

Fallon’s gonna kill it. So it’s definitely appropriate that his original Saturday Night Live audition tape is making its rounds. Spoiler Alert: Jimmy is a baby and auditioning for SNL appears to be the most terrifying experience ever.

 
 
 
 
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