BREAKING NEWS EVERYBODY!
The Boy Who Cried Wolf, yes, the proverbial shepherd boy
from Aesop’s Fables who was so lonely that he invents a wolf attack to
get the villagers’ attention, has endorsed serial liar state Treasurer Josh Mandel for U.S. Senate. According to the Ohio Democratic Party.
We at CityBeat receive many news releases all day, but
this appears to be the first time a fictional character has endorsed a
candidate for Senate. Though the release is right that Mandel has a
“penchant for repeating previously debunked lies,” the sheer absurdity
of the release has caused the news team here at your friendly
neighborhood alt weekly to dub it “the dumbest press release of the
Here’s the release in its entirety, with names of the guilty redacted. Happy weekend, y’all.
Friday, August 3, 2012
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
BREAKING: Boy Who Cried Wolf Endorses Josh Mandel For Senate
Touts Mandel's Ability To Consistently Repeat Previously Debunked Lies: "Us Serial Liars Need To Stick Together"
COLUMBUS, OHIO – The Boy Who Cried Wolf announced
his endorsement of Josh Mandel today, ending speculation about who the
world renowned liar would support in the Ohio senate race this November.
"Josh Mandel shares my ideals, my values and most importantly my less-than-casual relationship with the truth," said the Boy Who Cried Wolf.
"Us serial liars need to stick together, and now that Josh Mandel's
officially been crowned King of Ohio's Liars, the choice for me is
I'm honored to support Josh and I look forward to joining him
and his special interest friends on the campaign trail as they lie about
Sherrod and distort his record on the issues from now through
The Boy Who Cried Wolf rose to fame for repeatedly
proclaiming that his sheep were being attacked by a wolf, when in fact,
no wolf had attacked his sheep. Much like the Boy Who Cried Wolf, Josh
Mandel's star has risen largely because of his penchant for repeating
previously debunked lies. This week Josh Mandel earned the "Pants on Fire crown" from Politifact Ohio, an award reserved for the worst liar among all Ohio politicians.
Paid for by the Ohio Democratic Party, Chris Redfern, Chairman