WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
August 3rd, 2012 By Andy Brownfield | News | Posted In: 2012 Election

Fictional Character Endorses Josh Mandel For Senate

And the rest of the world blinks with mild incredulity

boy-who-cried-wolf"I'll cast my vote for you somewhere in the enchanted forest atop a rainbow!"
BREAKING NEWS EVERYBODY!

The Boy Who Cried Wolf, yes, the proverbial shepherd boy from Aesop’s Fables who was so lonely that he invents a wolf attack to get the villagers’ attention, has endorsed serial liar state Treasurer Josh Mandel for U.S. Senate. According to the Ohio Democratic Party.

We at CityBeat receive many news releases all day, but this appears to be the first time a fictional character has endorsed a candidate for Senate. Though the release is right that Mandel has a “penchant for repeating previously debunked lies,” the sheer absurdity of the release has caused the news team here at your friendly neighborhood alt weekly to dub it “the dumbest press release of the week.”

Here’s the release in its entirety, with names of the guilty redacted. Happy weekend, y’all.

Friday, August 3, 2012

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: [REDACTED]

BREAKING: Boy Who Cried Wolf Endorses Josh Mandel For Senate

Touts Mandel's Ability To Consistently Repeat Previously Debunked Lies: "Us Serial Liars Need To Stick Together"

COLUMBUS, OHIO – The Boy Who Cried Wolf announced his endorsement of Josh Mandel today, ending speculation about who the world renowned liar would support in the Ohio senate race this November.

"Josh Mandel shares my ideals, my values and most importantly my less-than-casual relationship with the truth," said the Boy Who Cried Wolf. "Us serial liars need to stick together, and now that Josh Mandel's officially been crowned King of Ohio's Liars, the choice for me is simple. I'm honored to support Josh and I look forward to joining him and his special interest friends on the campaign trail as they lie about Sherrod and distort his record on the issues from now through November."

The Boy Who Cried Wolf rose to fame for repeatedly proclaiming that his sheep were being attacked by a wolf, when in fact, no wolf had attacked his sheep. Much like the Boy Who Cried Wolf, Josh Mandel's star has risen largely because of his penchant for repeating previously debunked lies. This week Josh Mandel earned the "Pants on Fire crown" from Politifact Ohio, an award reserved for the worst liar among all Ohio politicians.

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Paid for by the Ohio Democratic Party, Chris Redfern, Chairman


 
 
08.03.2012 at 03:28 Reply

For the record, I think dumbest of the week is an understatement.

 

 
 
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