WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
December 18th, 2008 By Danny Cross | Sports | Posted In: Basketball

WTF AK?

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Andy Kennedy, were you hanging out at the Lodge Bar until 1 a.m. last night? Was your pervy looking “Director of Operations at Mississippi,” 31-year-old William Armstrong, trying to hunch on some rich girls into the wee hours of the night only to get his crackerish ass thrown out of the bar? Did y’all act like dicks to a cab driver?

I know you got arrested, I read about the charges against you and seent your very unflattering mug shots on the Internet. I understand the bad photo, though — I had to get a new driver’s license yesterday and I look like a murderer. But what the hell is wrong with you guys? Are the Ole Miss Rebels coming North to revolt against Cincinnati's diverse cabbie population?

colonelrebel.jpg

It is quite disappointing to those of us who appreciated your leadership and professionalism after Nancy Zimpher and her board of friends booted Bob Huggins out of town. You were charming and straightforward coaching our Bearcats, and we were sad to see you leave but also happy that we might have had something to do with your return to your home state the decent SEC coaching job you landed. We like you.

That’s why it was hard to believe the reports of your arrest, specifically your alleged use of racist comments toward a cab driver. My first thought after hearing the news was, “AK has been coaching black kids in basketball for years, how could he be racist?” But then I read the name of the accuser — Mohammed Ould Jiddou — and I thought, “It must be really difficult to look or sound Muslim in this country. What the hell is wrong with people?"

I don’t know what really happened last night at 550 Walnut St., or if you were the one who perpetrated the worst parts of the incident. But you can’t just come back here with pervy athletic staff members and take out your lack of game (double meaning) on our taxi drivers. I’d like to think that you weren’t the one talking mass shit to a the cab driver, and I really hope you didn’t call him Osama bin Laden or punch him in the face. But one of you Southern fuckers probably did.

After Louisville whoops your asses tonight in the SEC/Big East Challenge and UC kicks Mississippi State’s ass, y’all can go on back down South where this sort of thing is probably more tolerated. I’m not saying that we half-Southern Cincinnatians don’t have our intolerant assholes among us, but it doesn’t look good when you come to town and get thrown in the slammer and accused of such horseshit. These are bad charges, although former Hamilton County Prosecutor Mike Allen will probably have little trouble clearing your name. Perhaps an out-of-court settlement can keep the whole Ole Miss staff off the books?

I'm glad you are "vehemently denying" the charges, and I hope your involvement really was overblown and you’re just protecting the reputations of some jackass Ole Miss basketball people. But it might not matter. Unless I find out what really happened I'm going to have to assume you're not as cool as I thought you were.

 
 
12.19.2008 at 12:07 Reply
It's perfectly normal to go to a Tyler Bar the night before an athletic contest, hurl racial slurs, and drink lots of bourbon. Cuz that's what real men do. Haven't you folks ever heard of Ty Cobb? As for Mississippi State, they figured out how to fit that on the front of a basketball jersey, so give them some credit.

 

12.19.2008 at 01:08 Reply
Nice to see AK blame the team's loss on the incident last night. (Was a good game though)

 

12.26.2008 at 03:26 Reply
i once tried to jump out of a cab and attack someone, but he was white, and the child safety lock was on.

 

 
 
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