WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
September 16th, 2011 By Eli Johnson | The Morning After | Posted In: BABIES, Culture, Music, Life, TV/Celebrity

Music, Movies and the Not So Mundane

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Charlie Sheen has proudly taken all of our money after watching his public meltdown, shitty comic routines and buying his stupid T-shirts.

Sheen on Thursday told Jay Leno that he was actually "losing" during his breakdown and that he "thought I could come back … kind of like you did." Sheen says that he has no grudge against the producers of Two and a Half Men and that "I'd have fired my ass, too." He even said that if he were to meet new member of the cast Ashton Kutcher, he'd "just give him a hug and say, 'Make me proud, dude.' "

Hugo Award-winning novelist Harlan Ellison has come out of obscurity and is suing the makers of a new sci-fi thriller film starring Justin Timberlake, claiming that the film is a total ripoff of a prize-winning short story he published in 1965. The copyright suit, which was filed Wednesday, claims that In Time, which is written and directed by Andrew Niccol (The Truman Show, Gattaca) borrows a substantial amount of material from Repent, Harlequin!

Although Ellison has not seen the film himself, he claims that both works are based on the premise of a "dystopian corporate future in which everyone is allotted a specific amount of time to live." If successful, the injunction would prevent the film's release on Oct. 28 and he will then consider suing the makers of Equilibrium, Aldous Huxley, Lois Lowry, P.D., James, Anthony Burgess … do you see where we're going with this?

Mad Men's January Jones has welcomed her first child, a son. Xander Dane Jones and new mom January are "doing great," according to her representative.

Principal shooting of The Hunger Games ended after 84 days, and Lionsgate hopes that bitch brings in some money so it can squeeze some more coin out of the sequels.

Snoop Dogg is working on a sitcom for Warner Bros. Unlike Snoop Dogg's Father Hood, this show wouldn't be "reality."

Why not?

If you want to watch Metallica, Slayer, Megadeath and Anthrax cover Motörhead's "Overkill," you can. But be warned, it looks like this:

Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland was pranked yesterday when unknown person(s) added an academic profile of the school's newest English lecturer, Conan T. Barbarian. Dr. Barbarian was picked for the position "after successfully decapitating his predecessor during a bloody battle which will long be remembered in legend and song." Dr. Barbarian has been preparing for the rigors of academic life since being "ripped from his mother's womb," and his Ph.D thesis is called "To Hear the Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature."

If one was to attend the doctor's lectures, he or she would be treated to crosses such as, "Vengeance for Beginners" and "Deciphering the Riddle of Steel."

These are the two hottest new webcam stars. (Warning: They are old as the act of shitting)

These men are in trouble with the law and we'll bet you can't guess why.

 
 
 
 
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