WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
September 12th, 2011 By Eli Johnson | The Morning After |

Music, Movies and the Not So Mundane

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The European Union today agreed to extend royalty protection for music performers and producers from 50 to 70 years. Opera singer Placido Domingo welcomed this as “great news for performing artists” and said, “Established artists can benefit from their work throughout their lifetimes.”

Bono replied to the news saying, “I dunno who the fuck this Placido bloke is, but I do like him.”

The Detroit Free Press reports that Grammy Winner Bob Seger will finally transition into digital sales tomorrow when his concert albums 'Live' Bullet and Nine Tonight become available for sale on iTunes and Amazon.com. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee says his remaining discography “will come out in dribs and drabs.”

Starting this week, a 14-year-old girl will be featured in EA Sports’ NHL 12 video game on a team of her choosing after the 90-pound left-winger complained about not being able to create female players in the game. “My younger brother got to create a character that looked just like him. I had never been able to experience that,” said Lexi Peters.

She added, “We looked like men,” saying the best she could do was give created characters “hockey” hair. But even that didn’t work when the playoffs came around so she just transferred her player to the Blue Jackets since they only ever play in the regular season.

That still sort of looks like a girl, right dad?”

Of course it does. She’s playing for Detroit.”

Lexi sent a letter to the EA Sports president who then forwarded the letter to the lead producer of the company’s NHL game with the subject, “do the right thing, Dave.” David Littman says “Lexi’s letter was a wake-up call” and that now players will be able to create female characters and Lexi will already be featured in the game. Probably with really shitty attributes.

Paul Wall is in custody after being arrested for possession of marijuana in El Paso. Wall was scheduled to perform at Summer Jam 2011 with Baby Bash but was instead arrested with his fellow versifier in a “drug-free zone.”

Yeah, I guess I read that wrong, bro.”

A grandfather who has clearly watched Fight Club two too many times was caught making napalm after his house was egged by some lowly neighborhood hoodlums. When police officers walked in on Nicholas Smith grating soap into a saucepan and asked what he was doing he replied: “What does it fucking look like? I am making a bomb.”

Martin Kessman, a 290-pound, 64-year-old stockbroker is suing White Castle after not being able to take a seat in a booth to enjoy his No. 2 combo meal. “They’re stationary booths,” he told The Post. “I’m not humongous, [but] I’m a big guy. I could not wedge myself in."

Contagion topped the weekend box office despite shitty sales for everyone.

Despite delays, Jezzy is releasing Thug Motivation 103 on Sept. 20 and you can see the track listing here. If you don’t like waiting, download Traps N Trunks Vol. 23, which features Jeezy, Freddie Gibbs and Gucci Mane.

Remember when Lil Wayne cut his eye after a skateboarding accident? Well turns out Weezy F is touring with a skateboard ramp and he wasn’t just fucked up on cough syrup trying to do a kickflip. Watch this space.

 
 
 
 
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