What should I be doing instead of this?
November 20th, 2008 By dannycross | Sports | Posted In: football

Ocho Cinco Breaks Team Rule: Being Cool

The Bengals will be on national TV tonight taking on their big brother the Pittsburgh Steelers, and they’ll be without Chad Ocho Cinco because he done broke a team rule. What kind of rules to the Bengals have anyway? No winning? HAHAHA.

Some people have reported that 85 “got into it” with someone and left a team function or that he might have overslept and missed a team meeting (a really important meeting where the offense was to be prepped on how to defend their ribs against a superior pass rush). My guess is that Chad Johnson did something awesome during practice like pull down Jonathan Joseph’s pants or helped Leon Hall cover T.J. Houshmandzadeh. That shit would be funny.


Know what’s not going to be funny? What the Steelers do to the Bengals tonight in front of a TV audience consisting of the hundreds of people who know how to get the NFL Network.

Everyone else — other than local fans who get bonus TV coverage — will hear about it on SportsCenter. They’ll hear how Bengals are more worried about Hines Ward than any Steeler is of a Bengal defensive player. How the Steelers are so much more organized and professional than the Bengals and how stopping the run is totally sweet.

The Bengals are a freak show, and not the good kind where people commit acts of superhuman strength or do sleight-of-hand magic. They’re the three-legged man that hammers nails into his nose. Nobody likes that stuff anymore.

It’s not like Chad Johnson had been catching many long passes ever since Harvard boy took over behind center, but at least he was out there running around and doing those skinny sideline catches. I heard he was on TV the other night saying that he is 30 now and has lost a step. That’s hilarious.

I’m going to miss him tonight when I’m playing Internet poker and watching the stats change on my fantasy fuball league (Cincinnati Loser League represent!). 

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