What should I be doing instead of this?
November 10th, 2008 By Julie Mamon | The Morning After | Posted In: Dating

The Magically Reappearing Boyfriend


Over the past six months I have gone on several dates. Sometimes there would be a few dates and, more often, just one. Regardless, I would give out my cell phone number because I don't have a home phone anymore. The guys would save my number in their phone, even if the relationship had no potential.I would save their number, too. However, once I made the decision that there was no hope for a man, his number was erased. Recently, a new phenomenon has emerged. Despite the fact that we have had little to no communication, some guys are starting to reappear.

One obvious issue is that I have erased their names from my phone so I am left befuddled as I try to figure out just who is sending me the text message, "Hey sexy babe. What is up?” Of course, I'm overcome with emotion at the thought that some strange man still believes I'm sexy, but I have no way to determine the identity of this mystery person. Then I become concerned that it may be a man I have no desire to speak to again. Really, any man that sends that text message should be automatically eliminated from my dating pool, but I have this problem where I feel bad if I don't respond to a text message. It seems like I'm ignoring somebody that has said "Hi.” So I try to come up with a response that doesn’t let the sender know I haven't the slightest clue who he is. Most of the time I fail. I have even gone so far as to believe I knew just whom I was talking to and called him by name, Steve, only to be humiliated to learn I was really talking to Tom. I tried to talk my way out of it, but I just couldn't. Tom didn't really care because it seems that this casual dating behavior is normal. All was good. 

Then, at other times, I get the freaky weird text messages. On my really lucky days, I might get a picture of a penis, which is so flattering and no less helpful in the identification process. A few weeks ago one man sent me a messaging that stated, "Thanks for your support during this really difficult time in my life. I couldn't have done it without you." Luckily, I have stopped deleting names to prevent so much confusion, so I knew the sender. However, having not seen him in six weeks or so I was still unclear if the message was meant for me. Perhaps, he made a mistake and it should have gone to his new lucky lady. I responded and was told that not only was the message meant for me, but that I was his "world." Creepy. I guess a girl should be flattered, but now I'm a little uneasy. We don't talk or see each other, so I'm unclear as to how our relationship evolved into such a serious one. Where was I during this process? Sometimes men do things that make no sense. So ladies, I warn you--watch for the magically reappearing boyfriend. He is not to be welcomed with open arms, but with call-block.

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