UFC? Boring. If we wanted to see two dudes beat the crap out of each other, we’ll take our news editor to a Tea Party rally and slap a big “I Heart Karl Marx” sticker on his back. (Again.)
WWE? We have sales staff meetings with more drama and fake blood.
Jello wrestling? OK, you’re getting closer. But some local wrastling enthusiasts are taking their love for watching people beat the holy hell out of each other and upping the ante … with a fun local twist!
Tonight at midnight the fountain at Fountain Square will be filled with hot, steaming Cincinnati-style chili and 24 local attention whores — uh, “amateur wrestlers” — will punch, bite, claw and probably fart each other to the death. Last one standing after everyone else taps out gets a free backrub from Jim Tarbell (dressed as Peanut Jim!), tickets to stand outside of Great American Ballpark on Opening Day and a year’s supply of oyster crackers. As the press release boldly states, “We ain’t got The Banks, we ain’t got no winning sports team and we ain’t got no stupid streetcar, but Cincinnati is probably the first town to combine sports and meat soup ... so suck on that, Los Angeles.”
The "Genius of Water" fountain gets turned back on this Saturday, so don't worry about making a mess. It's all for a good cause: so we can laugh at you.
Get details here.