WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
Home · Articles · Columns · We, As Humans
We, As Humans
 
Top Articles from We, As Humans
No articles in this section

Liquid Courage

1 Comment · Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Lately, I’ve felt stuck in this peculiar post-college limbo, one in which the novelty of thrusting myself into this post-21 world of fledglings has granted me steady access to a potion that makes social interactions almost effortless — the never-failing social lubricant that is alcohol.  

Cincinnati, You're Very Attractive

8 Comments · Wednesday, July 25, 2012
We, as humans, really love getting compliments. Next to free stuff, there are few things we appreciate more. Compliments make us feel like we’re special or have done something smart, even if it’s as simple as choosing an item from the fast-fashion store that ends up earning praise from an acquaintance. “I like that shirt,” she says, platonically. “Thanks, I got it at the mall,” we say, not at all sarcastically.  

The Pride of Cincinnati

1 Comment · Wednesday, July 18, 2012
A native, I’ve now had (ahem) approximately 40 years of experience watching how things go down in Cincinnati. And I remember at least 30 of them. More importantly, I’ve been able to see the evolution of Cincinnati’s society and culture. And recently it has felt like I’ve had a front row to that part of evolution where the monkey-man stands erect.   

How 'Magic Mike' Taught Me to Let Go and Have a Good Time

1 Comment · Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Is it possible to get burned out on, or overwhelmed by, simple human interaction? My recent nightlife apathy stems from equal parts unwillingness and utter lack of motivation to take on the potential hours-long task of getting from Point A (leggings and hot rollers) to Point B (prettified and in a reasonable parking space). As the great Peter Gibbons said, “It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.” But I want to.  

Dear Close Male Friends

0 Comments · Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Dear Close Male Friends: There have been times over the years when some or most of you entered into serious, sometimes long-term relationships. I believe I have been extremely patient with each of you, understanding that your respective significant other might be meeting various universal human needs and making your life better.  

The World According to Barf

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 27, 2012
In 300 years, when machines run the earth, our robot scientist overlords will be able to study our ancient society’s morals and taboos via what we allow and eventually embrace in pop culture.     

Always-Recycler

1 Comment · Wednesday, June 20, 2012
I’ve got a problem. Some call it a problem, at least. Personally, I prefer “fixation.” Better yet, a love. Passion. Interest. Civic duty, if you want to be fancy about it. Ask any of my former roommates; they’ll call it a compulsion. A quirk. The one descriptor they’ll use to sum me up to their next roommate. “God, she had this weird thing about recycling … drove me nuts.”    

Skimp My Ride

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Don’t talk about my car. You know how guests on “talk shows” like Maury or Jerry Springer will literally break a chair over someone’s head if they mention the former’s mother? That’s how I feel (internally, thus far) when others try to bring up my ride.  

Social Media Anxiety Attacked

1 Comment · Wednesday, June 6, 2012
A couple of years ago, I went through depressive funk that led me to withdraw from most social settings. I hermited away not only physically, but also cyberly. I’ve always suffered from some level of social anxiety; now, I was experiencing a kind of social-network anxiety that caused me to ultimately break up with my Facebook page.
  

Dear Downtown

5 Comments · Thursday, May 31, 2012
You were a shit show this weekend and I straight up don’t appreciate it — in fact, I still get so irritated when I think about this weekend that my butt and calf muscles tense up into tiny little balls. I was too hot, too hungry and too dressed up to deal with whatever you were going through trying to figure out how to cram a thousand events into a single weekend.