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Your Negro Tour Guide
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Do as I Say, Not as I Do

0 Comments · Thursday, December 6, 2001
Mayor Charlie Luken's first official order of business as "strong mayor" is fraught with double standards. Luken appointed the Rev. Damon Lynch III to Cincinnati Community Action Now (CAN) for poli  

The Man Who Wasn't There

0 Comments · Thursday, November 29, 2001
Napoleon Maddox is the type of brotha who, at his funeral, would run down the aisle to jump in the casket right before they closed the lid. He'd be apologizing eloquently the whole way, dropping kno  

How Does It Feel?

0 Comments · Wednesday, November 21, 2001
Metaphorically insulting the white male penis castrates power, privilege, authority and entitlement at the very root of their orgiastic entanglement. Want proof? Responding readers most insulted by  

Still Dickless After All These Years

0 Comments · Thursday, November 8, 2001
"The city's gotta unify and come together." -- Charlie Luken on Nov. 6 Your once and future mayor is stuck on stupid. When approached by a CityBeat reporter on the night of the biggest political   

Liars and Boxers and Mayors! Oh My!

0 Comments · Thursday, November 1, 2001
There are few things more painful, hilarious and sad than suffering through the low jinks of candidates' TV commercials during election time. It's just not fair. It's like this: Funny, witty a  

Thanks for the Mammaries

0 Comments · Thursday, October 25, 2001
Exactly 15 years ago, I caught my late Aunt Dorothy's silicone prosthesis. "Kathy, you ever seen a prosthesis before?" she asked as the thing was whizzing through the air like a pregnant, waterlogge  

Shares and Shares Alike

0 Comments · Thursday, October 18, 2001
You won't see Mary McCoy rubbing shoulders with the big boys of social service funding on the morning TV shows. They were all there recently because it's that time of year again -- time to give 'ti  

The Unbearable Whiteness of Being (A Postlude)

0 Comments · Thursday, October 4, 2001
"This is a song that makes me spill out all my guts." -- "Sometimes," Bilal Just when you thought it was safe to return to your life ... With the world in the toilet like it is, regurgitating/rum  

The Negro Rears His Head

0 Comments · Thursday, September 27, 2001
" 'God bless America' ... those are songs from a long time ago." --Edward, white man on the street The Sept. 11 attack on America by what's turning out to be Osama bin Laden's boys has Negroes mor  

Les Miserables

0 Comments · Thursday, September 20, 2001
"I don't know what happened. It just went off. It just went off." -- Officer Stephen Roach after shooting Timothy Thomas One patient photographer waited for the right angle, for just the right sho  

The World Is a Ghetto

0 Comments · Thursday, September 13, 2001
"Don't you know that it's true/that for me and for you/the world is a ghetto?" -- War Suddenly, two guys dissing each other for the run of the asylum isn't so important. At the end of the world,   

The Arts' Black I

0 Comments · Thursday, September 6, 2001
People want a lot from CityBeat, myself included. Readers selfishly look to these pages for reflection, not so much an intellectual or pensive thoughtfulness but more a mirror image. It's the peop  

Going Hmmm... Too

0 Comments · Thursday, August 30, 2001
Why are grown Negroes wearing Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids clothing? And why are they operating those remote control cars downtown? Have you seen Mister Charlie's commercials? Doesn't he have bi  


0 Comments · Thursday, August 23, 2001
"Don't call me nigger, whitey/Don't call me whitey, nigger." -- Sly and the Family Stone This is what The Cincinnati N-quirer should have said about nigga/nigger in its Aug. 5 front-page fumble.   

It's the 40 Cs!

0 Comments · Thursday, August 16, 2001
"Dude looks like a lady." -- Aerosmith There oughta be a name for people like me. You know, people born one way but because of interpretation -- ours and yours -- perceived another way. I'm talki