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Worst Week Ever!
 

Worst Week Ever!: June 27-July 3

0 Comments · Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Since ObamaCare didn’t get faded by the Supreme Court, Jean Schmidt plans to spend the rest of the summer riding shotgun in an ice-cream truck, waiting for a young boy or girl to drop their frozen treat onto the asphalt by accident so she can hop out, point and laugh at them.  

Worst Week Ever! : June 20-26

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The U.S. Supreme Court today said “hell nah” to many parts of an Arizona law designed to fight illegal immigration by racially profiling people. It wasn’t a total victory for those who don’t love America and think a nation built by immigrants will be ruined by them, as the court let a provision stand that allows police to check a person’s immigration status while enforcing other laws.   

Worst Week Ever! : June 13-19

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 20, 2012
New laws will soon change where and how you can buy things to blow up in Northern Kentucky. In March 2011, a bill passed that allowed the establishment of permanent retail sites for fireworks sales and also legalized the sale of mine shells, aerial shells and other previously illegal types of fireworks.   

Worst Week Ever!: June 6-12

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Justin Bieber today compared himself to Michael Jackson, telling Billboard that his new song “Maria” is his “Billie Jean.” In response to this, we at WWE! have decided to start calling our traditional Monday dinner of diced hot dogs and macaroni “Surf and Turf.”  

Worst Week Ever!: May 30-June 5

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 6, 2012
If the 1985 film Pee Wee’s Big Adventure taught us anything, it’s that rich people think they can have whatever they want when someone loves an object enough, he or she will do anything to keep it. That’s kind of what’s going on over at Music Hall these days.   

Worst Week Ever!: May 23-29

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Anyone who has heard about how important bees are to the existence of humanity understands the fundamental frailty of our ecosystem (and maybe likes honey a lot or has really nerdy friends). Such an individual would have been interested in today’s news that the Asian longhorned beetle will soon reemerge in Clermont County and threaten to eat all the trees.
  

May 16-22: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Since a pack of five coyotes was first seen in the Northern Kentucky city in January 2011, residents have reported seeing them a few more times. A police spokesperson strongly urged visitors and residents of Park Hills to remain vigilant and not to loiter in front of any roadside signs promising “Free Bird Seed” until the coyote threat has been neutralized.  

May 9-15: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Germany’s Der Spiegel reported today that during 2011 German police shot only 85 bullets, and most weren’t even aimed at humans. Out of 85 bullets fired, 49 were warning shots. These numbers make it seem like it might be possible to greatly reduce the number of times per year in this country a person gets shot to death by the police in a situation where it seems like other resolutions could have been reached.  

May 3-8: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 9, 2012
In an attempt to better understand the effects of probiotics found in yogurt, and whether they have something to do with weight loss, the researchers fed one group of mice a normal food and gave another group the same diet plus a mouse-sized serving of vanilla yogurt. Male mice that were given yogurt became slimmer and had shinier coats then those that did not, and the yogurt-eating mice also became more desirable to all the hot lady mice.  

April 25-May 1: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Image consultants have reportedly urged Cincinnati to emulate larger, “awesome” cities by becoming more accommodating to skaters, bikers and users of other self-propelled modes of transportation. Otherwise, visitors who have seen the locally filmed 1993 rollerblading classic Airborne might be disappointed to find out that Cincinnati isn’t really the kind of place a cool kid from California would move and that Devil’s Backbone might not be real, either.  

April 18-24: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 25, 2012
For participants in cannabis culture, 4/20, 420, or 4:20 is Christmas, July 4th and Thanksgiving wrapped into one. The annual date has evolved from being message board material and a secret stoner code to something much more widespread.  

April 11-16: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 18, 2012
More than 600 people today were expected to attend an anti-tax rally on Fountain Square, the city’s most recognizable public space which happens to be beautifully maintained by tax money. Attendees planned on complaining about poor people being offered health care and how the American dream now sucks.  

April 4-10: Worst Week Ever!

1 Comment · Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Greater Cincinnati civic leaders are debating whether or not to ask for a sales tax increase to help raise the funds necessary for renovations at some of its longstanding institutions such as the Museum Center and Cincinnati Zoo. But saving links to our city’s past costs money, and getting citizens from all of Cincinnati’s neighborhoods to agree to do so has proven to be problematic.  

March 28-April 3: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 4, 2012
We at CityBeat try hard to maintain high journalistic standards, as evidenced by last week’s internal editing debate over whether a freelancer who used the word “shit” was literally referencing “feces” or “stuff” (turns out it was poo).
  

March 21-27: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Americans like to multitask, as long as it doesn’t involve trying harder at their place of employment. That’s why driving and texting has become such a problem. The Kentucky Office of Highway Safety states that cellphone use while driving has caused 186 crashes so far this year.