WEDNESDAY DEC. 26: The Community Recorder today
profiled a Florence, Ky., man named Tim Atkins for being an awesome
neighbor. People call him “The Mayor of Lloyd Avenue” or “Tim the Tool
Man” because of his willingness to help and let people use his tools.
WEDNESDAY DEC. 19: Like tattoos and blood pacts with the
devil, getting a pet is a decision that can have long-term effects. A
guest column in today’s Enquirer explains how pets aren’t the same as other
gifts people don’t like, because they cost a lot of money after you buy
them and will pee all over everything.
FRIDAY DEC. 14: The Enquirer recently published a
six-part series on Barbara Joly, better known as the “Granny Robber.”
Joly is currently doing prison time for robbing banks back in 2008 to
support her adult son.
THURSDAY DEC. 6: Cincinnatians often offend local
sensibilities when they travel to coastal states by calling soda “pop”
and refusing to let anyone off the hook if they profess to not thinking
chili spaghetti is better than cold-water lobster tail.
SATURDAY NOV. 24: The best way to increase public safety is
to get things that imperil it off the street … and then auction them
off to the public so they’ll be back on the streets. That’s the
bulletproof rationale the Kentucky State Police are employing by selling
confiscated firearms to gun dealers.
MONDAY NOV. 19: Justin Bieber won artist of the year at the AMA awards last night,
leading readers of things everywhere to become less jaded by all the
publications that run “Signs of the Apocalypse” blurbs within them.
WEDNESDAY OCT. 31: Space jumper Felix Baumgartner discouraged American leaders from funding exploration to Mars during a recent interview.
According to Baumgartner, the red planet probably sucks and the money
that would be used on such trips in the future would be better invested
on the planet we presently live on.
SUNDAY OCT. 28: Many people who read today’s Enquirer
endorsement of Mitt Romney for president likely set the paper down,
said something like “I need to move out of this [expletive] city” and
then googled “Jobs where newspapers don’t endorse Sarah Palin.”
THURSDAY OCT. 11: The Reds today became the first team in National League history to blow a
2-0 lead in a five-game Division Series. This latest painful postseason
exit for a Cincinnati sports team caused more chafing than others
because of how well the Reds played during the regular season, and for
the first time in like 20 years local sports fans thought their team had
a legitimate shot at winning a title.
MONDAY OCT. 8: Pizza Hut will give an audience member at next week’s presidential
debate at Hofstra University free pizza for life if they exploit the
town hall format of it and ask one of the candidates if they prefer
sausage or pepperoni as a topping during the debate.