For journalistically inclined folks like
Megyn Kelly of Fox News, the 12th month of the year is as good a time as
any to make it clear to young viewers that Santa Claus and Jesus were
good, hard-working Caucasians.
Cincinnati Health Commissioner Noble Maseru said the city intends to
work toward greater equity in life expectancy among races, though he refused to admit
that reducing the life expectancy of whites would make this happen
NKY Republican: Paul’s Plagiarism Is Liberal Media’s Fault: Those of us who thought the term “liberal
media” died sometime around the time Sarah Palin quit her job as a
politician to write books and say crazy stuff on TV were happy to
learn today that a Northern Kentucky Republican is still blaming those
bastards (wait, is that us?).
Future Republican Presidential Nominee Watches Sci Fi Film, Says Plot Could Totally Happen: While the liberals here at CityBeat
prefer the nutty “everything is a conspiracy” brand of Republican
politician over the “selectively interpret passages from the Bible to
exert social control over a nation founded on the principle of
separating state and church” kind, they both suck.
Cincy: Let’s Get Wasted in Public: Sometimes questions kind of answer
themselves, like when you’re offered a sample of a little cracker in the
grocery store and you feel like eating a cracker. An Enquirer
headline today prompted a similar response, as its story titled, “Want
to drink in the street?” was likely met by most readers with an excited,
Audit Finds Simon Leis as Unreasonable as He Always Appeared: Former Hamilton County Sheriff Simon Leis probably saw
this day coming when his handpicked successor lost last year’s election
to Democrat Jim Neil, who campaigned on pretty much doing things the
opposite way Leis had done for 25 years.
City’s New Police Chief Wants to Dress to Impress and Arrest: Like all cities, Cincinnati is a place where
crimes are committed. Strategies constantly evolve as law enforcement
tries to thwart all sorts of criminal enterprises.
Walmart Finds New Way to Look Like Assholes, Surprises America: Halloween is coming up soon, and that
means you’ll probably get roped into attending a party and binge
drinking to avoid thinking about if it’s dumb or not to be in costume at
Local News Stations Restructure After Broadcasts Mistaken for Parodies of News Coverage: There are things you can almost guarantee
will be on the local TV news if for some reason you find yourself stuck
watching it. They
are: things on fire, poor people committing crimes and things about
people in the community doing something nice :)
It’s difficult to consider the Cincinnati
Bengals to be one of the NFL’s more innovative franchises — aside from
winning the most lopsided stadium deal in the history of football and
then hiring the guy who negotiated it for the county, the team is really
only known for losing Super Bowls to the 49ers and a funny 1990s
FRIDAY SEPT. 13: Ohio is a great state with a lot of smart
people in it, but somehow it seems like the dumbest people in it end up
in really important positions. Take Debe Tehrar, the president of the
Ohio School Board.