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Worst Week Ever!
 

Sept. 16-22: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 23, 2009
There’s nothing worse than being condescending toward someone and having it get flipped around on you. Today the people who will have to deal with the confusing wording on the anti-streetcar ballot said to its supporters, “Yeah, your anti ‘choo choo train’ bill could ruin a real choo choo train, you asses.”  

Sept. 9-15: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Anyone who has ever been caught by their parents stealing stuff from a store knows how much it sucks when they drag you back in there to apologize and give back the Skittles. U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson (R-South Carolina) knows this type of embarrassment, only he doesn’t have a shiny wrapper and eye-level product placement to excuse his actions.  

Sept. 2-8: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Sometimes it’s difficult for white men to really understand how hard it is to break through a glass ceiling (can’t you just smash it with a broomstick and try not to get cut when you climb up?). One organization that has proven over centuries that it won’t tolerate its womens speaking out or breaking anything is the Catholic church, which today reinforced its stained glass ceiling by banning a nun who supports the ordination of women priests.  

Aug. 26-Sept. 1: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Today the newspaper with the funniest arrest stories in town took another step forward by posting a series of poll questions asking what fast-food places offer the best value for a poor person’s $5. Among The Enquirer's choices were the Subway $5 Footlong, the KFC $5 Fill up Box, assorted value menus and whatever amount of chili you can get for $5. Enquirer editors said they would have included spending $5 at a grocery store but that shit takes too long.  

Aug. 19-25: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Cash for Clunkers program ended at 8 p.m. Aug. 24. It is survived by thousands of appreciative middle-class auto buyers, several hundred thousand tons of smashed SUVs and dozens of stimulus programs that no one has heard of.  

Aug. 12-18: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Living in a recession is hard. We at WWE! have already sold a kidney to pay for ramen and Playboy, and we can still only afford to drink Natty Light (in bottles when we feel like classing it up or we have a lady friend over).  

Aug. 5-11: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 12, 2009
There are many things that American politicians work hard to avoid — divisive issues, unprompted interviews and admitting how much their shiny shoes cost are high among their fears. But recent health care legislation has brought yet another controversial topic to the forefront: abortion (!).  

July 29-Aug. 5: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 5, 2009
If Mayor Mark Mallory isn't an expert on streetcars after visiting Portland, Ore., last week, then Michael Jackson isn't dead and Jeff Berding is respected by his peers. The Enquirer reported today that Mallory, fresh off a field trip to America's leading producer of progressive mass transit and Indie rocker boners, said that if Cincinnati's proposed anti-streetcar ballot measure passes that it will be an end to local mass transit (including Midwest commuter rail) forever.  

July 22-28: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 29, 2009
If your favorite part of a cheese coney isn't the cheese and the chili, then you're not a real Cincinnatian. Similarly, if you don't think Pete Rose is the ultimate symbol of hard work, dedication and fortitude, then you're kind of a dick.  

July 15-21: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 22, 2009
South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint today loaded up his red, white and blue bus and took off on a book tour for his new anti-socialism release, 'Saving Freedom.' The book warns of a socialist movement occurring so slowly that no one has noticed it, with consequences as dire as those seen in the 1993 movie 'Jurassic Park,' which had a similarly foreshadowed plotline.   

July 8-14: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 15, 2009
You know the economy is in bad shape when rich people start tightening up the purse strings (though we don't really feel it ourselves until the money stops trickling down to us). The Enquirer reported today that the Village of Indian Hill, known for its lavish estates and for never having interstates constructed through its lush wilderness, has decided to postpone $1.2 million worth of capital projects.  

July 1-7: Worst Week Ever!

1 Comment · Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Those of us who have frequented West Chester in the past to purchase geometrically shaped light fixtures know how welcoming the township can be. That's why we were surprised today to hear that leaders there are considering converting the township into a city, which would give them the ability to impose a 1 percent income tax. Critics say that will upset members of the Cincinnati Tea Party because they've never had to protest in their own neighborhood before.  

June 24-30: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Those of us who received frantic text messages reading the likes of "MJ died today … FUCK!" were surprised and relieved to find out later that basketball legend Michael Jordan was, in fact, alive and well. The news wasn't so great for Pop icon Michael Jackson, who died suddenly at his Los Angeles home at age 50 and received hours of TV news tributes, tweets and descriptions of his "troubled" life in his honor.  

June 17-23: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Americans understand that there are times when you just have to do what’s right — we’ve all known someone who stepped up and helped an old lady cross the street or gave Ken Broo directions to the nearest Chipotle at some point in time. Barack Obama made a similar gesture today by extending benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees.  

June 10-16: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 17, 2009
People from the Midwest already know how liberal Californians are — we hear all about their medical marijuana and interracial relationships on the news. But San Francisco is about to take it to the next level this fall with the strictest recycling rules this side of the Atlantic.