We at WWE! realize that in 17 years things will be a lot different — technology will be increasingly difficult to use and people who are 10 right now will be able to kick our asses. Another thing that’s going to suck is that the $1.9 billion Cincinnati Retirement System is going to be broke unless fundamental changes are made soon.
We, as humans, don’t have to worry about any other species invading us because our consciousness and free will allow us to make awesome weapons to defend ourselves from even the scariest creatures on Earth. But that doesn’t mean some of the not so scary ones can’t mess up our habitats, which is potentially worse than whatever happens when a hippopotamus gets mad at you.
If there are two things you don’t need, and one of them costs more but is taxed less, which one seems more appealing? Not enough information? Let’s say one makes your skin look like you just got back from vacation and the other makes your face look like you’re 15 years younger and surprised.
There are a lot of bad choices one can make during his lifetime: driving drunk, having unsafe sex and giving a real e-mail address to the cashier at Best Buy are all pretty dumb. Hamilton County Commissioner Todd Portune today said his recent decision to raise the county cigarette tax was a similarly bad choice.
Adults generally agree that eating at fast-food restaurants is a great deal and can save your family a lot of money. But the majority also realizes that with the financial benefit of serving KFC with a side of Taco Bell for dinner comes a significant amount of time in the bathroom afterward.
Imitation is to flattery as satire is to mockery. Hamilton County GOP chairman Alex Triantafilou today demonstrated this analogy when he mocked Barack Obama’s 30,000-troop dedication to Afghanistan on Tuesday.
The week after Thanksgiving might mean a shopper's paradise for some, but for others it's the best reason ever to oil up the ol' rifle, climb up into a tree house and shoot the shit out of something that's alive. That's right, friends! It's hunting season! Whoot! Whoot! Whoot!
In the national news' "You bet your ass I will" department, local intellectual and House Minority Leader John Boehner joined what a silver-tongued reporter referred to as a "legal crusade" to keep the phrase "In God We Trust" inscribed above the visitors' entrance to the U.S. Capitol.
It’s pretty clear that no one is ever going to solve the whole chicken or the egg thing. But that’s not going to stop Kentucky legislators from trying, as Ohio’s legalization of casino gambling has forced them to rethink their casino-gaming chicken and horse-racing egg (or is it the other way around?).
The American taxpayers were caught by surprise today when they learned that Ford Motor Co. earned $1 billion in the third quarter of this year. The sudden profitability of the seemingly inept automaker (the Ford Fusion? Seriously?) impressed industry analysts, who said such gains once seemed less likely than a Ford hybrid SUV or a woman sleeping with a dude who drives a Mustang and not getting herpes.
When we at WWE! heard that the Cincinnati Tea Party was planning to spend the second half of this week participating in something called “We Surround Him,” we thought, “Good, if those assholes are busy doing weird shit to god they won’t bother the rest of us.”
There are some things that even the dumbest kid doesn't need his mom to tell him more than once: The stove is hot, scary movies aren't real and eating at Taco Bell will make you poop your pants. A new study hopes to put another surprisingly debatable issue to rest: whether hanging out in a room full of cigarette smoke is bad for the people who aren't even smoking.
When we at WWE! heard that NASA was scheduled to shoot a rocket at the moon today, we thought, "Good, that thing's too scary when it's full." It turns out that the scientists weren't doing it out of spite but were actually hoping to find evidence of water in the explosion that could help humans once we pollute all of ours.
There's an old saying that goes something like, "Once you learn how to ride a bike it's really easy to do it again at any later point in your life." The same can't be said for the education of local transportation planners, who today asked the public what it would take to get more people riding bikes even though it's kind of their job to know that.