TV writer John Kiesewetter has just what you need: a place to complain about Fox 19's coverage of Sunday night's fireworks. Among Kiesewetter's complained about not being able to see the tops of the fireworks. And said his biggest problem was the wide-angle shot of the circles with a star inside because the reflection looked like a pentagram and it scared him.
We Americans are proud of the idealized version of youth that most of us at least partially experienced as children: little Billy tossing ball with dad; Sally spending time with mom learning to repair dad and Billy's jeans. The Columbus Dispatch today reported that the contemporary version is just as good, as long as Billy enjoys traveling the country reliving dad's glory days and Sally doesn't mind either being left behind or winning at all costs.
Whenever I see the name Joey Votto I am refreshed. Not only did he hit the tie-breaking homerun today, increasing his Triple Crown chances, but he looked damn good doing it! You don’t see players that look Italian anymore. 'Cause, I mean, wow. He’s really Italian looking.
Republican Senate candidate Rand Paul today told viewers of a coal-appreciation event (seriously) that President Obama doesn't care about Kentucky. Paul said that the EPA should stay out of Kentucky's business and then promised to oppose all of Obama's policies until he starts smoking cigarettes in public again.
There are plenty of reasonable questions to ask of the U.S. government after witnessing several months of oil spillage, shaky federal responses and the extreme concern of BP employees on TV commercials (the guy from Louisiana seemed to care the most). But the AP reported today that for every one of us whose original question — WTF? — is still unanswered, there's a BP executive thinking something else: "So how much oil is still in the well?"
With local streetcar funding and support increasing like the value of property along the proposed route, it's no wonder that some East-siders are wondering what's up with a proposed rail project that would link the eastern suburbs to the city.
The Reds' cap is No. 2 in a national ranking of gang-affiliated hats, which was reported today by an assumedly well-connected Web site called complex.com. The cap, which is red with a wishbone white "C" on it, is said to be repped by Chicago’s 4 Corner Hustlers, who add a "4" and a "H" to it, and Los Angeles' Bloods, who reportedly rock them strait out da box.
Have you ever been forced to use one of your poor friend's cell phones to make a call only to rub your index finger across the screen and have nothing happen because the phone has actual buttons? Flip-phone owners around the world today were repaid for such bothersome details in their lives, as news spread of the new iPhone's problem getting a signal if it's held a certain way. Ha ha!
News is out that the new Touchdown Jesus on I-75, which builders say will definitely be non-flammable this time, will depict the savior standing on water and holding his arms in a position less familiar to people who worship professional athletes more than any god. Pastors say they researched all major sports signals before settling on a design, which was crucial to avoiding any resemblance to the NFL's illegal touching penalty.
If you were to ask Americans how it makes them feel to be compared to the Roman Empire, most would say something along the lines of, "That's what's up." (People from Colerain would likely add an expletive to the end as well.) Such feelings of pride aren't what Republican U.S. Senate nominee Rand Paul meant to conjure when he recently compared America to the Romans, because he thinks we're an empire on the verge of collapse.
The Enquirer today performed its daily newspaper version of multimedia progress, sending a reporter out with a hand-held thermometer on a 90-degree day to measure the heat. Prefacing his discoveries with the acknowledgment that only a fraction of people in Cincinnati didn't already know it was hot as hell outside, this intrepid layoff-dodger recorded such fascinating discoveries as a 113-degree metal picnic table and 133-degree asphalt.
State workers may soon be able to extend their benefits to "live-in" partners. Against the idea is Citizens for Community Values leader Phil Burress, whose official statement on the issue included a disturbing metaphor about the ends of an extension cord not fitting together if each has three dicks.
God today offered humanity another image to think about when he smote the 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus outside Solid Rock Church in Monroe, setting ablaze a monument that has become known to locals as "Touchdown Jesus" for its resemblance to a football referee signaling a touchdown. The statue is expected to be resurrected in the shape of Jesus dunking a basketball so the hoop can extend high into the sky and also function as a lightning rod.
If you were to believe 1980s stereotypes, college fraternities and sororities would be a bunch of mean rich kids adored by administrators even though they're total dicks to everyone else (you might also believe that red cars are cool and black men are scary). To reinforce that view last week Miami University put a third sorority on probation.
Most children only have to experience the pain of touching a hot stove one time before they learn two very important lessons about life: The oven is scary and hot things aren't always red. The AP today reported bad news for a collection of adults who still haven't mastered such primitive survival skills: people who use tanning beds.