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Worst Week Ever!
 

Sept. 22-28: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The Cincinnati Reds today probably won their first Central Division championship since 1995 when the St. Louis Cardinals lost to the Pittsburgh Pirates and/or the Reds defeated the Houston Astros. Should this not have occurred, it is expected to happen the following day or the next. Barry Larkin is my favorite player.  

Sept. 15-21: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 22, 2010
A national organization of carrot growers chose Mason High School to be one of two test schools for a new all-carrot vending machine. Assistant Principal George Coates said students have already begun purchasing the vending machine carrots, which cost 50 cents per 3-once bag, and that many students are actually eating them rather than throwing handfuls at the buses after school.  

Sept. 8-14: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Cincinnati Reds today honored Hit King Pete Rose on the 25th anniversary of his record-breaking 4,192nd hit, only the second time Rose has participated in an on-field activity here since his lifetime banishment in 1989 for betting on baseball. Rose afterwards attended a roast in his honor, during which he gave an emotional speech and was subsequently reinstated to Major League Baseball.  

Sept. 1-7: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 8, 2010
TV writer John Kiesewetter has just what you need: a place to complain about Fox 19's coverage of Sunday night's fireworks. Among Kiesewetter's complained about not being able to see the tops of the fireworks. And said his biggest problem was the wide-angle shot of the circles with a star inside because the reflection looked like a pentagram and it scared him.  

August 25-31: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 1, 2010
We Americans are proud of the idealized version of youth that most of us at least partially experienced as children: little Billy tossing ball with dad; Sally spending time with mom learning to repair dad and Billy's jeans. The Columbus Dispatch today reported that the contemporary version is just as good, as long as Billy enjoys traveling the country reliving dad's glory days and Sally doesn't mind either being left behind or winning at all costs.  

August 18-24: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Whenever I see the name Joey Votto I am refreshed. Not only did he hit the tie-breaking homerun today, increasing his Triple Crown chances, but he looked damn good doing it! You don’t see players that look Italian anymore. 'Cause, I mean, wow. He’s really Italian looking.  

August 11-17: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Republican Senate candidate Rand Paul today told viewers of a coal-appreciation event (seriously) that President Obama doesn't care about Kentucky. Paul said that the EPA should stay out of Kentucky's business and then promised to oppose all of Obama's policies until he starts smoking cigarettes in public again.  

August 4-10: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 11, 2010
There are plenty of reasonable questions to ask of the U.S. government after witnessing several months of oil spillage, shaky federal responses and the extreme concern of BP employees on TV commercials (the guy from Louisiana seemed to care the most). But the AP reported today that for every one of us whose original question — WTF? — is still unanswered, there's a BP executive thinking something else: "So how much oil is still in the well?"  

July 28-August 3: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 4, 2010
With local streetcar funding and support increasing like the value of property along the proposed route, it's no wonder that some East-siders are wondering what's up with a proposed rail project that would link the eastern suburbs to the city.  

July 21-27: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Reds' cap is No. 2 in a national ranking of gang-affiliated hats, which was reported today by an assumedly well-connected Web site called complex.com. The cap, which is red with a wishbone white "C" on it, is said to be repped by Chicago’s 4 Corner Hustlers, who add a "4" and a "H" to it, and Los Angeles' Bloods, who reportedly rock them strait out da box.  

July 14-20: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Have you ever been forced to use one of your poor friend's cell phones to make a call only to rub your index finger across the screen and have nothing happen because the phone has actual buttons? Flip-phone owners around the world today were repaid for such bothersome details in their lives, as news spread of the new iPhone's problem getting a signal if it's held a certain way. Ha ha!  

July 7-13: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Tuesday, July 13, 2010
News is out that the new Touchdown Jesus on I-75, which builders say will definitely be non-flammable this time, will depict the savior standing on water and holding his arms in a position less familiar to people who worship professional athletes more than any god. Pastors say they researched all major sports signals before settling on a design, which was crucial to avoiding any resemblance to the NFL's illegal touching penalty.   

June 30-July 6: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 7, 2010
If you were to ask Americans how it makes them feel to be compared to the Roman Empire, most would say something along the lines of, "That's what's up." (People from Colerain would likely add an expletive to the end as well.) Such feelings of pride aren't what Republican U.S. Senate nominee Rand Paul meant to conjure when he recently compared America to the Romans, because he thinks we're an empire on the verge of collapse.  

June 23-28: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The Enquirer today performed its daily newspaper version of multimedia progress, sending a reporter out with a hand-held thermometer on a 90-degree day to measure the heat. Prefacing his discoveries with the acknowledgment that only a fraction of people in Cincinnati didn't already know it was hot as hell outside, this intrepid layoff-dodger recorded such fascinating discoveries as a 113-degree metal picnic table and 133-degree asphalt.  

June 16-22: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 23, 2010
State workers may soon be able to extend their benefits to "live-in" partners. Against the idea is Citizens for Community Values leader Phil Burress, whose official statement on the issue included a disturbing metaphor about the ends of an extension cord not fitting together if each has three dicks.