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Estrangement in a Strange Land
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A Letter from the Editor

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Dear Readers, It's hard to believe but this month's issue of Packrat Today, the very one you now hold in your hands, marks our 20th anniversary. This milestone means that for all the loyal hoarder  

Recurring Daymare

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 30, 2006
First Day of School: Kindergarten -- I grip my mother's hand tightly as we enter the large, open classroom. The smell of paste and crayons is oppressive. My anxiety is running high. Anxiety about c  

The Story of My Story

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 26, 2006
My story begins with a possessive. From there, it twists, through a series of dependent and independent clauses, as well as parentheticals (unavoidable in the course of a discursive narrative such   

Time Travelogue

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 28, 2006
The AAA Travel Guide to Rome: Revised and Updated for the Year 49 A.D. Today's Roman Empire is recognized as mankind's most successful and advanced civilization to date. (Sorry, Egyptians!) And t  

Drawing a Blank

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Reflections on a Schulzless Universe by Charlie Brown I lost my faith about six years ago, in a weird kind of convergent way. I woke up one morning and there, already in my head, loomed this prefo  

CSI: Comedy Scene Investigation

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 26, 2006
-- What's up? -- Manager down at the Empire Theater just called. Claims he just witnessed a comedy sketch being murdered. -- Damn. That's three this week. -- Lot of unfunny people out there. You   


0 Comments · Wednesday, March 29, 2006
I saw it. In a store. Or in an ad. Maybe on an infomercial. Or in a magazine. Like Time or Slate or 20/20. Or, for that matter, on a lifestyle or makeover show. Though I might have seen it while   

Estrangement in a Strange Land: Echo-Conspirator

From the Case Files of Clarence 'Easy' Thomas, Private Investigator

0 Comments · Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The Kiss of Pro-Death The street was chockablock with black-and-whites by the time Easy arrived. He'd heard the call on his police scanner and decided to cruise by, check it out. Approaching th  

Heal Me, Hurt Me

0 Comments · Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Dear Mr. Woodiwiss, It has long been the goal of United Humanthema Healthcare to provide plan members with the maximum possible coverage for the lowest possible cost. Toward that end, UHH was firs  

Declaration Proclamation

0 Comments · Wednesday, December 28, 2005
When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the political bands which have connected him with the sole remaining superpower of the earth, jeez, what a giant   

The Ravenous

0 Comments · Wednesday, November 30, 2005
In this Christmas season cheery, while out browsing, growing weary, Ent'ring chain and specialty shops with merchandise and products galore, I sought to purchase with my plastic, something utterly  

Estrangement in a Strange Land: Justice DeLay-ed

The Case for the Teaching of 'Intelligent Retribution' Alongside Traditional Probability and Statistics Theory in High School Mathematics Classes

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 26, 2005
FOR: Dr. Adam Allupp, Professor of Mathematics, Stanford University Scientists seek to observe, gather and interpret quantifiable, empirical data as a means of understanding events, processes and   

Massive Opportunities

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Hillenbrand Industries Inc.'s Hill-Rom subsidiary has launched a new product. The Excel Care bariatric [hospital] bed is designed for morbidly obese patients who weigh up to 1,000 pounds. The bed h  


0 Comments · Wednesday, August 31, 2005
In the two-plus years since President Bush launched his war of choice on Iraq, I've seen countless "yellow ribbon" car magnets, quite a few bumper stickers and, more rarely but nevertheless regular  

Pious or Against Us

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 27, 2005
The Creation Museum, currently under construction in Petersburg, Ky., will depict the Earth's history based on a strict, literal interpretation of the Bible rather than on the theory of evolution.