WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
Home · Articles · Columns · Living Out Loud
Living Out Loud
 

Another Lunch with Andrea

1 Comment · Wednesday, June 16, 2010
"I mean, I have to buy all my gas at BP now." "What?" I said. "Yeah, it's costing them a fortune to clean that mess up," Andrea says. "I gotta do my part to help them out." My mouth is hanging open now, but the good news is that our food has finally arrived.  

Decade of Contrition

2 Comments · Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I met Kate at a poetry slam at Casa Cantina in Athens, when we were undergraduates at Ohio University. We were the kind of people you’d find at a poetry slam in an Athens hippie co-op bar. We became instant friends as we breathlessly confessed every book we both loved, every CD we both owned, every crunchy-crafty hobby we shared.  

Parenthood

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 2, 2010
My daughter had a birthday last week and my son last month. With both firmly now in their twenties and lives of their own, I don't see them together that much anymore. That's why I like it when those birthdays roll around. It means we'll do dinner somewhere. It means we'll be together.   

Just Stuff

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I've never considered myself much of a pack rat. Furniture, clothes, dishes, books — I've never had any trouble selling, throwing out or giving away things I don't want or no longer need. They're just material processions. Most of it isn’t important to me. There are some exceptions, however. If you would walk through my living space, you'd probably notice a few things that wouldn’t appear to have much material value at all. Some would call it just stuff that needs to be tossed out, but it's stuff I can't bring myself to part with.  

One Desert Night

1 Comment · Wednesday, May 19, 2010
A few weeks ago I struck out on a random road trip, heading for quiet roads and woods. After a few miles, I started thinking about James, a gentle man, a lanky cat who rode with me out West in 1996. Long story short, a friend mentioned that James needed a ride to California. Without even knowing him, I drove to Ithaca, N.Y., to pick him up. Strange, maybe, but I was fresh out of college and ready to experience anything shocking.  

Ludlow Reunion

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Last week I wrote about how The Most Miserable Man in Cincinnati has moved from downtown to my neck of the woods in Westwood. After our bus ride together, it got me thinking it’s time to move. Bus rides with Lee are something I don’t want to make a habit of. Thinking about moving got me thinking of Clifton.  

The Most Miserable Man in Cincinnati

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I’m not in the mood to deal with Lee. I haven’t seen him in almost a year. He lives in an apartment building downtown close to the CityBeat offices. I and other CityBeaters who smoke are more or less forced to listen to his ignorant, often racist remarks as we puff on our cigarettes outside on the sidewalk. I’ve often referred to him as “The most miserable man in Cincinnati.”  

Immersion Methods

2 Comments · Wednesday, April 28, 2010
“Chicken! Fingers!” Jen exclaims loudly, her finger jabbing the menu, as she glares up at our server. This is America, we speak American? No, this is Moscow, 1998. We speak … whatever the hell we want, apparently. We’re in the center of the city in a café so accommodating that each menu item is printed in Russian, German and English.  

My Crutch

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 21, 2010
When I was diagnosed with diabetes more than 10 years ago, I was also informed that I have neuropathy — nerve damage in my legs and feet, one of my side effects of being diabetic. I had some numbness in my feet, but I didn't have a difficult time getting around. Not any more.  

Chicken Liver

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Saturday was my lucky day. Kroger had chicken liver on sale. Lightly breaded and packaged in a plastic container, it cost me less than a buck for 24 chicken livers. As I put the container in my cart, I told myself chicken liver is good for me. Whether it is or not, I haven’t bothered to check.  

Extraordinary Rendition

1 Comment · Wednesday, April 7, 2010
My annual January visit to Santa Fe to cavort with Sarah, my best friend from graduate school, carried more significance this year. Not just because the sepia-toned landscapes, crisp mountain air and crazy-blue-bright skies excite and relax me at the same time but also because, following a riotous autumn, I had some answers I needed to torture out of my own treacherous heart, and that traitor required nothing short of extraordinary rendition.  

Not Being There

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Donald (or that's what I’m going to call him here) is an older guy and a Vietnam War vet. To his way of thinking, we should have just blown that country up and started it over. "Death's a part of life," he said as I was speaking with bartender Laura about a sick mutual friend. "You just die — no fun, but you just do it."  

Worst Patient Ever

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 24, 2010
When it comes to docs, I can be one hard-headed mofo. Back when I had a wisdom tooth yanked, after I had a bizarro reaction to the numbing meds that made me feel like I was on speed, the super-hot dentist handed me a detailed sheet of aftercare instructions. It was well written, but I promptly threw it in the dumpster.  

Jon & Kate Aren't Great

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Believe me, I never thought I’d be writing a column about divorced parents Jon and Kate Gosselin, but strange things do happen. I’ve just about had enough of these two idiots. There isn’t a week — and sometimes not even a day — that goes by that I don’t read something about Jon and Kate Gosselin.   

Snow Jobs

1 Comment · Wednesday, March 10, 2010
On Feb. 18, I wasn’t standing at a bus stop on Queen City Avenue. I was standing in a driveway that had been cleared of snow. Waving my arms like hell, I was hoping the bus driver would take notice of me. The bus stopped. When I got on, I thanked the driver. “Hey, I don’t expect my passengers to wait at bus stops in conditions like this,” he said. “People wave me down and I stop for them, don’t want anybody to get hurt trying to get on a bus.”