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Daylight Loser

Jake Speed -

By Jake Speed · April 5th, 2006 · Speedy Delivery
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Notes: My dad always refers to Daylight Savings as Daylight ?Losings? because we all lose an hour. (He?s like a living Shakespeare the way he can play with words.) While my dad merely jokes about Daylight Savings, I take it quite seriously because it regularly falls on my birthday (as it did this year), robbing me of an invaluable hour of revelry and celebratory merriment. In fact, if I tallied all

the birthday hours I?ve lost to Daylight Savings, it?d probably total one entire day, which means I?m actually only turning 27 this year. Or something like that. Remember: I?m not a mathematician. I whole-heartedly blame Ben Franklin for all the missed birthday opportunities I?ve had because supposedly he introduced the concept to America.

Daylight Loser
4/2/06

I had plans to win the war,

cure cancer work in the Peace Corps

clean up the river get cats outta trees

help an old lady cross the street

I was gonna donate a lot of cash

try to make it all the way through an episode of MASH

Help Pete Rose get reinstated

But I?m an hour late ?cause of Daylight Savings

Ben Franklin screwed me over again

Bifocals, I can see it

But Daylight Savings, bad idea

Ben Franklin screwed me over again

Just think of all that could?ve been

Ben Franklin screwed me over again

My To Do list said ?write a novel?

Run for Mayor, win America?s Next Top Model

I had it all planned from 7 to 8

?cause of Daylight Savings, I woke up late

run a marathon, go parachuting

cry on a Barbara Walters interview and

be in a movie with Kevin Bacon

I got denied by Daylight Savings

Ben Franklin screwed me over again

A penny saved is a penny earned

An hour lost, Ben, you?re a jerk

Ben Franklin screwed me over again

I could?ve been the next John Glenn

Ben Franklin screwed me over again

Never got a chance to be a doper

Then clean up and go on Oprah

Daylight Savings totally blew it

Would?ve been a great VH1 Behind the Music

I could?ve been the next Bob Dylan

Or Bob Dylan could?ve been the next me

I?m not even quite sure what that means

I?m writing this song on an hour less sleep

Ben Franklin screwed me over again

He gave us Electricity

Now give us back the hour, please

Ben Franklin screwed me over again

didn?t get time to give this song an end

Ben Franklin screwed me

 
 
 
 

 

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