What should I be doing instead of this?
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Love is the Screw

Jake Speed -

By Jake Speed · February 15th, 2006 · Speedy Delivery
I knew I wanted to write a love song this week (on account of the commercially inflated "holiday"), but I had trouble sticking with one angle. First, I wanted to write a song called the Talkin' Valentine's Day Massacre about a guy who gets mauled for buying the wrong colored roses or the incorrectly cream-filled candies. Then, the title "My Heart's Flat Broke on Valentine's Day" country line-danced into my head out of nowhere. Finally, I decided to deliver a positive outlook on the absurdity of love. Dick Cheney's hunting mess gave this one the punch it needed. At the last minute, I completely changed the entire melody and chord progression, so now I have two songs with one set of lyrics.

How pointless!

Love is the Screw

If you were capitalism, I?d be your Valentine?s Day If you were a box of chocolates, I?d be your holiday weight Some things go together better than love songs and kazoos But I go together right with you

If you were President, I?d be your wire tap If you were 3 dollars, I?d be your gallon of gas Some things go together better than Kim Jong Il and nukes But I go together right with you.

Bridge: Love ain?t no peach, it?s more like a pair Like war goes with peace, like marriage goes with prayer If the world?s falling apart, then love is the screw Let?s screw up the world together, just me and you

If you were a ring of fire, I?d be your Johnny and June If you were Oprah, I?d be a book that told the truth Some things never should go together like Grammys and U2 But I go together right with you

If you were a bad halftime show, I?d be your Rolling Stones If you were a weird Olympic event, I?d be the one with brooms Some things go together better than vice presidents and aim But I love you, Happy Valentine?s Day



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