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The Dating

By Erma P. Sanders · August 30th, 2001 · Diva
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Although I do possess more than a trace of testosterone, I am not a guy. I don't think like a guy. I have gathered some empirical evidence on the guys I've known, but I don't know how all men think. So in order to figure out why guys do certain things, I actually confronted the men in my life, co-workers, friends, family, with some relevant relationship questions.

The most burning question for me: What makes you dump a woman? I have been dumped a lot, and there have been very few who actually gave me a reason. I think the reason for that is all men have a little bit of gentleman in them and don't want to hurt the girl. It's more polite to say the vague "This isn't working out" than "I can't stand watching you honk up phlegm every morning after you brush your teeth." I don't know if my small but meaningful survey actually told the women they dumped the reason for the dismissal. But in the interest of science, they were happy to tell me.

The number one reason for the boot was the woman was not honest. Kris Kristofferson said, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." Well Diva Divalicious said, "The truth is just another word for not having a believable lie on the tip of my tongue." A dishonest woman is good reason to dump her. I swear I am telling the truth.

Another dumpable offense comes from a young pup in the relationship department. A chick gets the boot if her second toe is longer than her big toe. I'm as shallow as the next person and physical anomalies are dumping qualities. Fortunately, like defining art or beauty, everyone has a particular definition of what they just can't overlook. Personally the toe thing is no big deal for me, as long as you have no missing teeth.

Suffocating -- not in the pillow sense, but in the emotionally overwhelming sense -- is a big reason a guy will give you the heave-ho. Most men don't want a woman calling them constantly, planning every free moment as couple time or making her presence felt at every opportunity. Indeed if he's feeling controlled even when you aren't in the room, you, my dear, are suffocating.

Right up with the long toe as far as being unusual is one man in my survey who gave a gal the boot because he couldn't afford to date her. A woman who has expensive tastes and habits is all good as long as she is footing the bill. Of course, I doubt she was holding a gun to his head and making him pay for everything. However, it was easier to save face by dumping the girl than admit he couldn't finance the romance.

Naturally, a few men cited unfaithfulness as the axe that fell on the relationship. That's what made me realize that even though they tinkle standing up and grow hair on their backs with ease, men and women aren't so different.

I can relate to every reason I heard for dumping someone. I've been there myself, as both the giver and receiver. And like a man, I am more likely to give the standard "This isn't working out" than admit I cannot bear the every growing collecting of lactating lasses porn mags. Also, a chivalrous dumping is less likely to invite revenge. Gentleman, my ass!

 
 
 
 

 

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