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The Dating

By Erma P. Sanders · August 16th, 2001 · Diva
Altruism is defined as an unselfish concern for the well-being of others. While I wouldn't say it was the best example of altruism, it certainly is a heckuva nice thing to fix up your ex.

Usually when a relationship ends, the two people involved go their separate ways, and that's the end. The very enlightened might even stay friends. It's the true friend who's so concerned with the ex-lover's happiness that he or she will go out of the way to find a new lover.

Actually there can be several reasons that you want to fix up your ex. The ex is still too much in your life, and you want a little more freedom. You still have strong feelings for the ex, even though you know the relationship won't work, so you hope introducing a new person into the mix will help you realize the relationship is really over. Or maybe you and the ex didn't work out, but you really do want him to be happy.

Not many people will say I'm very nice to ex-lovers. But there has been the occasion where I fixed up the ex.

Let's call him Bjorn. Bjorn and I only had three acts in our repertoire. We sat on my porch and talked. We went dancing. We had lots of sex. It was all good, but we just didn't click in any meaningful way. He was too broke, too dopey and still lived with his Mommy. Although he is one of many beaux who I had to chauffeur around and go Dutch on dates, this was one time when the dick just wasn't worth the effort. I broke it off.

Miraculously, Bjorn and I stayed friends. He was kind of sweet and pathetic, like a lost puppy. And I had a girlfriend who was just his type. With little effort, I made a match that lasted for quite a long while. They dated. Real dates, not the it-doesn't-cost-thing-to-sit-on-your-porch dates that I got. He spent the night with her. He bought her things. And no doubt he was giving her the high hard one on a regular basis. They had a real love affair.

Was I bitter? Yeah, for about five minutes. But it is a testament to my high self esteem that I could say (a) I had him first and (b) I gave him the boot. I was genuinely happy things were going better for them than they did for Bjorn and me.

I wouldn't go out and fix up all of my ex-lovers. For one thing, some are such losers I would not subject my female brethren to such a specimen. It would also take up too much of my time. I was just lucky I had a perfect match handy for Bjorn. I would not have made a deeper effort to find a woman for him. Indeed, had it not been for his new relationship, I would still be screwing him on the sofa while my poodle watched, until I found a new man.

If you and your mate have a friendly break-up, there is nothing wrong with trying to ease the pain for both of you by fixing the ex up. Indeed, your ex may just try to fix you up. Just be sure your motives are pure, because you don't want to hurt the new person being introduced in the mix. And don't be thinking about a menage à trois, my dears. That's a whole other story.



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