I recently announced to Snowman that the next time I flip the bedroom mattress I'll need help. It's difficult to flip head-to-foot (side-to-side I did alone while he took a nap). He asked when I last flipped it, as if this was a foreign concept in our household. Duh?! Don't you know I flip the mattress every few months to allow for even wear and prevention of lumps and sagging? Apparently mattress-flipping is a chick thing. Snowman thinks he has occasional back pain from an old high-school sports injury, but I know it's from years of sleeping on a lumpy mattress before he met me. He should be kissing my behind in gratitude: I'm adding years to his life and keeping him out of traction.
Here's another little tidbit I learned in marriage: Men actually use the toothbrushes they get free at the dentist. Snowman doesn't even know if his toothbrush is full head or compact, hard-bristled or soft, straight-handled or sloped. "It gets the job done," was his curt reply to my inquiry. I use freebie toothbrushes to clean jewelry or the dog's teeth. Then I spend a good 20 minutes at the drugstore selecting the perfect toothbrush ... every three months! Snowman would probably keep the same toothbrush until it was bald if he didn't luck up on a new one. Sometimes I replace his toothbrush just on a whim because I care about his teeth. He doesn't notice. He told me once that he bought toothbrushes in bulk just in case a girl spent the night. FYI: Quality dental care is not sold in multipacks, though it was thoughtful of him to his trashy hos to have minty fresh breath.
Every day of marriage is a new adventure, an enlightening discovery. This wonderful man who won't eat tofu, will eat a pretzel that fell between the sofa cushions a month ago. Of course, not everything I've learned makes women glow in a more positive light. Like I learned that men don't buy uncomfortable shoes just because they look good, as I've done on many occasions. Snowman is quick to remind me -- and anyone else who will listen -- how one night on the town was cut short because my fabulous brown suede gem encrusted flats were crippling me. But I looked good while I hobbled back to the car.
I'm sure there are plenty of men out there, single, dating and married who run an efficient household. But I sure didn't get one. That's not a bad thing. I know my man is downright thrilled to find clean towels in the bathroom on a regular basis. It keeps life exciting to know that I never know what I'm going to find. And the adventurer in me is better for it.
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