Who woulda thunk the Oscars would make for such great comic fodder? Maybe it was the poinsettias attacking Sigourney Weaver's neck or Russell Crowe's looks of scorn at host Steve Martin. And then again, it could be the simple fact that Björk should just not be allowed out in public. So many jokes, so little time. But TRESPASSERS ONLY will make some headway with their Oscar Wrap-up. (See Onstage.)
Is the IF Theatre Collective secretly rooting for Michigan State to win the NCAA brackets? IF's double bill of THE YELLOW WALLPAPER and DANNY AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA makes us wonder. That would assume the Clifton-based theater group knew something about sports. How many theater people do you know who know anything about sports? Barbra Streisand's life history? Perhaps.
Now just how do you make the greatest vampire of all time even scarier? It's certainly not easy. It takes more than a splattering of gory make-up. Simply stick DRACULA in a pair of tights. The thought of the prince of darkness in a frilly tutu sends shivers down our spine. We'll sleep with the light on tonight. (See Onstage.)
We tried to steer clear of the CINCINNATI REDS as the thing to do on Monday. But we had no choice after the half of the office that actually likes sports (those freaks) threatened to inflict bodily harm on us. Sports fanatics sure can be testosteronish at times. (See Sports.)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ... OK, so it was only 200 or so years ago, and it was just on the other side of the world, a short, little man hopped a charter bus tour to the land of the Great Pharaohs. Supposedly, he got a great deal on Priceline. Today, the CINCINNATI HISTORY MUSEUM celebrates that momentous trip that we were never taught about in high school with its exhibit Napoleon in Egypt. Visitors dressing up as Napoleon will receive nothing extra off admission. (See Attractions.)
We're all about SOMEONE LIKE YOU, especially if the "you" referred to in the title looks anything like Hugh Jackman or Ashley Judd. We can't help it if we appreciate a nice-looking set of aesthetics. We're not ashamed about that. For us, love is only skin deep. (See Film.)