WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
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Dating

By Erma P. Sanders · October 26th, 2000 · Diva
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Ladies, you will be as shocked as I was, but you're being tested. See, I was reading an article about women complaining that men dump them if they have sex with them too soon.

Apparently that old "it's OK after the third date" rule we've always followed is crap. What I just found out from a man who was a big slut in his day is that on the third date a man will test you to see if you will do it. But beware the consequences.

The really unfair part of this test is you're never told it's a test. It's not like after you're naked and primed to go the guy is going to say, "Stop, put your clothes back on, just wanted to know if you would do me." No, you will be having sex. You'll just never hear from him again.

I personally am putting out a challenge to every woman who isn't serious about a guy. If you don't care about seeing the guy again, when the magical third date comes, get naked and get him in the mood. Then, when it seems like the point of no return, back off and say, "I might like sex, but even I have standards, and you don't make the cut." Then leave.

Don't do this to a guy you're interested in seeing again, because he'll be good and pissed. Otherwise, it's good revenge for every man who thought you were good enough to date but not good enough to bed.

What my male friend didn't mention is there are exceptions to the rule. The truth is, if a guy really likes you, it doesn't matter when you sleep with him. This I know from experience.

I've gotten naked on the first date. I've gotten naked instead of an actual date. Sometimes the phone kept on ringing. It really depends on whether the two people involved clicked or not. If the guy is just in it for the sex, then he merely sees the dating phase as a means to an end anyway, and it won't matter how many dates you go on. As soon as the legs open, it's all over.

I don't care how soon you start having sex on a date. What I do care about is why you're doing it. Do it because it's an activity you enjoy and you're attracted to your partner. Do it because you have cramps and nothing relieves the tension like a good orgasm. But don't do it because you think you should, because he paid for the date or because it's been several dates already.

A date stands alone; it's not payment for sex. Don't do it because you think you're going to be dumped if you don't. Any guy or girl who dumps you for lack of sex is a shallow asshole who was going to dump you anyway. I'd rather be dumped before I gave up the goods than after. Finally, is it possible to wait too long? I don't know when that is.

I don't recommend waiting until you're married or you might be in for a big surprise or disappointment, and by then it'll be too late. I can only suggest you go with your gut feeling. Don't base your decision on past experiences. Judge the new person on his own merits, not the mistakes of others.

Then all I can say is, "Happy screwing."

 
 
 
 

 

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