I was minding my own business window shopping on Short Vine. This reasonably cute male started talking to me. We flirted a bit and, before I knew it, El was offering me cash for a little sexual activity.
I should've been insulted, but at the time I wasn't. I enlightened him on his mistake. He apologized profusely, and we got to talking.
Eliot lived in California and was only visiting friends in town for a spell, but I believed him. Every once in a while he'd throw a few lyrics he was working on with his letters and that made his story more believable.
Then Eliot promised he would write a song just for me. I couldn't wait. I've had guys sing to me and make tapes for me, but no one had ever written a song just for me. Furthermore he was going to try to get the song published, he said, so then the whole world would hear his love song to me. One day a couple of weeks later his letter arrived. He didn't have the music part yet, he said, but he had the lyrics.
I won't bore you with the main part, let's get right to the chorus: "Keep on a rockin' me baby." Hell, I didn't need to get that far. My antenna went up when I read the part that went "from Phoenix, Arizona, all the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, LA." That plagiarizing mofo's so-called original song for me was already a hit song for Steve Miller! I never directly called him on his lie, but my trust in him withered. The letters got less frequent and eventually stopped.
There is a lesson to be learned here. Maybe more than one. First, if you're going to pick up a woman, the best approach is not suggesting she's a hooker. El got lucky. I was nice. Most women would have taken him out with one punch. Also, if you're going to write someone a song, a crappy original beats ripping off a popular song.
Then again, it may be okay to rip off somebody else's song. But at least pick a good one.
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