Mostly York or Junior Mints, but lately Ghirardelli. And not just those, but Mounds, candy corn, fudge (the grainy kind) and Hersheyets (now called "Kissables").
I crave the gritty sweetness. And don't get me started on Valentine's Day, Easter, Halloween and Christmas -- I get excited just thinking about those rows of goodies enticing me at the grocery.
I have certainly overdone it in the past. At this point in my life, I choose to concentrate on eating healthy foods, more salads, fruits, and vegetables -- but I'm always looking forward to the inevitable sweet finish. Chocolate is fun!
I have debated the facts and argued with myself over my apparent refusal to curtail my habit. I rationalize that, as far as addictions go, this seems fairly innocuous.
After all, current opinion is that (dark) chocolate is actually healthy -- except for the disclaimer on the package that says it should be consumed in moderation -- though it's loaded with fat and calories. My fellow chocophiles love to not only talk about our previous orgasmic chocofests but visualize and anticipate whatever is to come.
I have pretty much accepted that my reluctance to eliminate my habit has to do with availability as well as it being so much a part of my life, memories and identity. My friends and family all know about how much chocolate figures into my life and usually count on me to have some when they visit or to share a decadent dessert when we go out to a meal together.
I'm guessing that only a true health crisis would cause me to deprive myself of something that's so obviously pleasurable on so many levels. Does this make me hypocritical when clients come to me for help with their addictions? I don't think so.
In fact, I think it makes me more knowledgeable and empathic to their experience. I know the pull of a craving and how hard it is to stop or resist.
But there is a difference between the appreciation and enjoyment of a sensual pleasure that's not harmful in and of itself and feeling helpless to control it to your detriment. If and when I decide that enough is enough, I have the tools to support my decision.
Until then, I think I'll just run to Graeter's.
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