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Grammy Haters, RELAX!

Plus, flatulence isn't always funny and Prince still hates the Internet.

By Mike Breen · January 29th, 2014 · Minimum Gauge
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Grammy Haters, RELAX!

Open up your social media feeds from Jan. 26 and you’ll learn that this year’s Grammys were a crime against music and all involved should be executed. But if you actually watched the performances not for the purposes of taking a shit all over them so your friends think you’re hip and edgy, there were some phenomenal moments, like Daft Punk’s perfect collaboration with Stevie Wonder and the compelling closing collaboration featuring Trent Reznor, Dave Grohl, Josh Homme and Lindsey Buckingham. The Grammys often screw things up, but when they do well and get things right, people still can’t resist a knee-jerk “Grammys suck!” reaction. Thanks, Internet!

WARM

Flatulence Isn’t Always Funny

In our “Faster! More! Now!” media world, it’s not shocking that some reporters would be quick to pick up on a story with the word “fart” in it.

When an item like “Opera Singer Forced to Retire Due to Uncontrollable Farting” (as broadwayworld.com headlined its story) surfaces, dreams of a bazillion web hits go into overdrive and the subsequent story is rewritten and posted everywhere. But the news is actually incredibly sad. The singer claims that the episiotomy given to her without consent while preparing for the birth of her child severed the tissue between her vagina and anus to the point where she suffers from extreme flatulence and incontinence. The woman delivered at a military base in Kentucky (her husband is in the military), so the couple is suing the government for pain, suffering and loss of income. The baiting headlines conjure images of a cartoonishly obese opera singer farting like Terrance and Phillip on South Park, so these “news” sites likely got the clicks they wanted. And all it cost them was their humanity.

COLD

Prince Still Hates the Internet

A few years ago, legendary musician Prince went on a tear about the Internet, proclaiming it a fad that would end soon. He has apparently lost patience waiting for the Internet’s imminent implosion and is doing his best to keep his cyber footprint as tiny as his actual footprints by suing 22 people who posted “bootlegged” live concert video/audio on blogs and Facebook pages, mostly in the form of links to file-sharing sites containing the material. Prince’s lawyers are suing each defendant for $1 million a piece (or 1/12 of the budget for Prince’s 1986 film disaster, Under the Cherry Moon). 

 
 
 
 

 

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