Now that I have grown up enough to call myself a mom, I find myself dropping my own children off at summer camp each morning and remembering my own summer days. As a child, I would happily run to the bleachers for morning assembly. My butt would stick to the hot bleachers while the camp songs were sung and the daily announcements were being made. But none of this helped to ease the anticipation of the clipboard that was being reviewed three girls down from me. I would listen half-heartedly as I waited for my turn. You see, my entire day�s fate was listed on that piece of paper. Would we be doing art today? Would we be going to gymnastics? But finally I felt the warm, smooth clipboard in my hand and the sticky pen that was used by so many 7-year-olds before me. Time to decide. My decision was based not only on what I personally wanted to do but also on what my friends before me had already chosen.
Would we all go to free swim that afternoon? Or perhaps make pot holders in the art room? Or maybe tennis? Decisions, decisions. I ultimately made some choice for the day and handed the magical clipboard on to the next kid with my day�s fate marked in blood (in ink anyway). In the moment the choice was no longer in my hands, I wanted to change it! Today I can see that not much has changed. I still like to go along with what my friends want to do. I still make my decisions and then wish I could change them. I am still impatient and indecisive. I am still only partially in control of my own destiny. I am now 33 and find myself feeling impatient for my end-of-day electives � which as of late have been folding laundry in front of the TV and perhaps eating ice cream and going for an evening walk. These are my thoughts as I sit in my afternoon meeting. Sitting in a meeting that�s never going to end, answering my 47th e-mail of the morning and eating the same lunch I�ve had multiple times per week over the past 10 years. At least my butt isn�t sticking to my chair, but still I am always looking towards the future � to the next event. To those afternoon electives where I can choose to do absolutely anything I want.
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