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Droning Your Sorrows

Drones to deliver beer at music fest, Jay-Z gets a presidential diss and Ghost B.C. release cheeky box-set

By Mike Breen · May 1st, 2013 · Minimum Gauge
beer drone

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Droning Your Sorrows 

There hasn’t been much to get excited about in the world of concert technology since the bar-code ticket scanner came along and enabled us all to save our ticket stubs, un-ripped and suitable for framing. But a music festival this summer in South Africa has a feature that could be the best thing to come to concerts in ages (or the absolute worse, it’s still too soon to tell). And it involves drones. At the August OppiKoppi Festival, according to the event’s websites, fest organizers developed “beer drone technology” — fans at the outdoor site who want a brew can order it by phone. Then, an unmanned “beer drone” will drop the fan’s order from high above using a parachute. Though it has the potential to be a modern-day version of Les Nessman’s doomed helicopter “Turkey Drop” on WKRP in Cincinnati, the “use drones for menial tasks” concept has the chance to change everything from pizza delivery to mail service. But we’ll all have to start wearing helmets.

Here's the drone in action:


WARM

Commander in Beef

Jay-Z is no stranger to “haters.” He is, after all, a rapper.

But this past week, the superstar MC/businessman was hit with a diss by a influential public figure whose opinion might mean more to Jay than those hastily-put-together barbs hurled by jealous or competing MCs on mixtapes. At the recent White House Correspondents' Dinner, President Obama killed it once again during his stand-up set, coming on stage to a thumping “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled (just as Republicans predicted), besting a tepid Conan O’Brien (the headliner) and dropping a few popular music references, including a joke about Jay-Z’s recent travel itinerary. “This whole controversy about Jay-Z going to Cuba — it’s unbelievable,” the Prez said. “I’ve got 99 problems and now Jay-Z is one.” Not his best joke by a long shot, but bonus points for the effort. If Jay-Z’s bucket list includes, “Have my balls busted in public by the most powerful man on the planet,” someone lend him a marker; he can cross that one off now.

The Prez's latest stand-up routine, in full:


COLD

Toys R Ghost 

Hey kids! Does it seem like it’s getting harder to shock your parents with your musical tastes? Does your mom not only not flinch, but hum along when you play your favorite Death Grips or G.G. Allin track? Then it’s time to become a superfan of Swedish Doom Metal band Ghost B.C. (this will be especially effective if your folks are devoutly Catholic). The band sounds and looks demonic, the scary frontman, Papa Emeritus II, “ran” for Pope and the group’s recent Infestissumam album was delayed because no manufacturer would print the “sacrilegious” artwork. Now, just in time for Mother’s Day, Ghost is releasing the “Phallos Mortuus Ritual Box Set,” a limited edition collection that comes packaged in a box that looks like a Bible and includes, among other swag, a “bronze effect metal butt plug with moulded Grucifix logo base” and a black silicone dildo sculpted to look like Papa Emeritus II.

The "offending" parts of the boxset: 

 


 
 
 
 

 

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