Droning Your Sorrows
There hasn’t been much to get excited about in the world
of concert technology since the bar-code ticket scanner came along and
enabled us all to save our ticket stubs, un-ripped and suitable for
framing. But a music festival this summer in South Africa has a feature
that could be the best thing to come to concerts in ages (or the
absolute worse, it’s still too soon to tell). And it involves drones. At
the August OppiKoppi Festival, according to the event’s websites, fest
organizers developed “beer drone technology” — fans at the outdoor site
who want a brew can order it by phone. Then, an unmanned “beer drone”
will drop the fan’s order from high above using a parachute. Though it
has the potential to be a modern-day version of Les Nessman’s doomed
helicopter “Turkey Drop” on WKRP in Cincinnati, the “use drones for
menial tasks” concept has the chance to change everything from pizza
delivery to mail service. But we’ll all have to start wearing helmets.
Here's the drone in action:
Commander in Beef
Jay-Z is no stranger to “haters.” He is, after all, a rapper.
But this past week, the superstar MC/businessman was hit with a diss by a influential public figure whose opinion might mean more to Jay than those hastily-put-together barbs hurled by jealous or competing MCs on mixtapes. At the recent White House Correspondents' Dinner, President Obama killed it once again during his stand-up set, coming on stage to a thumping “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled (just as Republicans predicted), besting a tepid Conan O’Brien (the headliner) and dropping a few popular music references, including a joke about Jay-Z’s recent travel itinerary. “This whole controversy about Jay-Z going to Cuba — it’s unbelievable,” the Prez said. “I’ve got 99 problems and now Jay-Z is one.” Not his best joke by a long shot, but bonus points for the effort. If Jay-Z’s bucket list includes, “Have my balls busted in public by the most powerful man on the planet,” someone lend him a marker; he can cross that one off now.
The Prez's latest stand-up routine, in full:
Toys R Ghost
Hey kids! Does it seem like it’s getting harder to shock
your parents with your musical tastes? Does your mom not only not
flinch, but hum along when you play your favorite Death Grips or G.G.
Allin track? Then it’s time to become a superfan of Swedish Doom Metal
band Ghost B.C. (this will be especially effective if your folks are
devoutly Catholic). The band sounds and looks demonic, the scary
frontman, Papa Emeritus II, “ran” for Pope and the group’s recent
Infestissumam album was delayed because no manufacturer would print the
“sacrilegious” artwork. Now, just in time for Mother’s Day, Ghost is
releasing the “Phallos Mortuus Ritual Box Set,” a limited edition
collection that comes packaged in a box that looks like a Bible and
includes, among other swag, a “bronze effect metal butt plug with
moulded Grucifix logo base” and a black silicone dildo sculpted to look
like Papa Emeritus II.
The "offending" parts of the boxset: